Last week we covered together the first three steps of morning your old life/circumstances, in order to free you up to come into this new moment with freshness, enthusiasm and joy. Remember, the whole idea here is to get yourself to a place where you can be fully present with what is happening, with no residual fear or constriction. This work is deep, and important.
Today we will complete with the steps to get you to a place where you can be here now, and be happy about it. Enjoy the process my friend, and remember to be as gentle on and as kind to you as you possibly can be throughout the journey. There is no race, it is all unfolding in perfect time.
Step Four: Really Realize All The Gifts Of All The Places You Have Been: Now that you see that missing or resenting the past is causing stagnation on your path and thus internal fermentation (which leads to deeper emotional states of dis-ease and displeasure) you can start to move towards coming into a state of alignment with what has happened.
Before we move on to how to complete with your past, there are a few critical things to understand:
1. EVERY circumstance in your life happened in order to grow you. It was the absolutly next step on the path of the evolution of your consciousness to experience what you did.
2. Your soul is always, always, always without fail moving you towards growth. There is no standing still in this life, there is only moving forward and growing, or starting to decay and move towards death. There may be moments of pause and integration, but even that is actually growth. One cannot get stuck and expect to live.
3. You cannot skip a lesson. You cannot be incomplete with a circumstance and expect to just move on to the next leg of your journey. This would be like allowing someone who did not complete grade one to move on to grade two anyway. That would not be optimal for the child, because without all the information provided in grade one, grade two will be far more challenging that it needs to be. The child will be handicapped in grade two not having what was given in grade one.
4. It is impossible to be stuck/stagnant (ie. starting to decay) and be happy at the same time.
5. When you have resisted an experience, you put yourself into a state of fear. You were believing that what was happening should not have been happening, or that what wasn’t happening should have been happening. Being in a state of fear arrests your capacity for growth. Thus, you continue to have the same types of experiences, or you get stuck on an experience in your MIND and thus in your EMOTIONAL STATE, with the ultimate goal of trying to get yourself to relax into what is, so you can experience it from a state of love. Only when you experience you circumstances from a place of love and acceptance can you learn what they have to teach you, and then and only then can you move on. Until you have lovingly embraced what happened, you will be stuck because you will be in fear – where growth is not possible.
Understand that you are stuck in resenting or missing because there are things about your experience you are still not seeing. There are gifts you still have not picked up. Awarenesses and awakenings that have not stuck yet.
This is because you had RESISTANCE to your circumstances, and this limited and shut down your conscious awareness. This put you in a constricted, contracted, fear based state. Which you now know will fully stagnate growth. You cannot grow in a state of fear.
Your circumstances are ALWAYS what they are in order to grow you. This growth is essential to your soul, and your soul will never stop wanting to grow. So if you resist your circumstances, and thus resist the growing they have to offer you, you will get caught in a loop of being drawn back to that circumstantial place with missing or with resentment (ie. via your emotional experience in this moment) until you get the message. The lesson. The growing. You see where I am going with this?
To be in a state of resisting your circumstances means you will resist the growth that MUST happen in order for you to move to the next experiential/emotional place on your path.
If you do not complete with what happened, you will be called back over and over again until you do. Even if circumstances change, your emotional experience of your new circumstances will be the same, because you have not completed the upgrade in your consciousness required for a new experience.
Going back within yourself, with no resistance to the circumstance, will allow you to actually glean what that circumstance was there to offer you. It is only in your resistance to what is occurring, that you miss what the circumstance is offering. Due to the fact that you cannot actually ever ‘miss’ something, it will just keep repeating in your consciousness until you get it. This is the grace of life, and why you should never be upset with yourself for missing or resenting something. That is your souls wisdom giving you the opportunity to complete.
You will keep being pulled back, until you integrate.
You cannot move on to grade two before you have completed grade one.
You cannot complete grade one, until you stop resisting grade one.
The way to complete with your past, is to allow yourself to PROCESS all the negative emotion you have surrounding what happened ie. allow those emotions to surface and communicate with you, and then to go back to the memory in a state of unconditional loving presence. It is the combination of these two things – emotional processing that leads to unconditional loving witnessing of your circumstances – that allows your consciousness to relax its resistance to your experience, and thus allows your consciousness to fully understand the experience. To fully embrace it. To fully receive all the gifts it had to offer.
With this, you will find emotional release.
No more missing and no more resentment.
Simply new, expanded awareness of who and what you are, what life is, what God is, whatever the circumstance was opening your awareness too.
In that, you will be able to safely and pleasantly live in the present moment, with all that awareness that was needed to make THIS circumstance and lesson learnable and applicable to you.
I have a published processes on Youtube that will walk you through how to get into this loving, curious, awareness based state, so that you can go back to your memories and complete with them. Simply bring yourself into your safe space, into your observer consciousness – the part of you that is fully and completely accepting of what is, and thus able to absorb all the gifts and teachings from your reality – and then allow that to lead you back to your painful memories.
Bring this loving, aware presence, and watch how your perception and perspective of the whole situation changes. Watch how you become more able to be with what happened, and to be grateful for it, while at the same time being totally ready to continue on your path.
This is but one process of a million to get you into a state of loving awareness so you can complete with what was. If another process calls to you, use that. If this one does not resonate, but you still want to complete but don’t know how, ask for guidance. You will find it. This information is accessible and available to all who are open to receiving it. You just have to be willing to complete, and your Soul will oblige you. Every time.
Step Five: Allow Your Past To Remind You To Be In The Present As Fully As You Can: Now that you can look back on your past, knowing that regardless of whether or not your experience of your reality was pleasant or painful, it was exactly what you wanted and needed at the time, you can start to use this information to help you be with what is in this moment.
First, you can allow yourself to melt into this moment – whether it is joyful or painful – knowing that resisting this experience in order to try to get yourself to a new and different one won’t work. That you do not have to remind reality that you hate this, in order for it to give you something new. You can feel safe in knowing that allowing yourself to fully be in THIS is not you resigning to be in THIS forever and ever amen.
In fact, just the opposite. The fastest way to get stuck in something, is to resist it.
You can recall how even in the worst circumstances of your past, there was always something to appreciate. Something you would later miss. Something that you later mourned the loss of. You can use this information to help you pull yourself into THIS moment, knowing that one day, this too, will be a memory you look back on. You can re-assure yourself that things always shift, and so you don’t need to fight to make that shift happen. You also can’t hold onto this moment forever, and thus may as well allow yourself to fully be in it, rather than wasting the moment trying to figure out how to make it last.
This too is going to pass, just as everything else has.
So be in it.
Soak it up.
Know that it is not going to stay, so you have the choice to either enjoy it and surrender to it, or fight it and resist it – either way it is going to pass.
Then, allow yourself to experience what is, with the filter of ‘how is this blessing me?’ Notice yourself putting up walls of resistance – ‘this should be happening and it isn’t’ or ‘this shouldn’t be happening and it is’ – and breathe into that. See if you can let those walls come down. See if you can allow yourself to agree with the reality as it is.
From here, realize that sometimes what is, is calling forth an action in you. This is not about being totally passive to life. Your new mantra is – ‘Allow me to accept that which CANNOT be changed, and the courage to CHANGE what SHOULD be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.’ – The full context of the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr show us it is not about complete passivity, nor is it about bullheadedness, but wisdom. The wisdom to accept natural law, and the wisdom to change where natural law is not being observed.
This is to say, some things are what they are, and you are simply there to learn from them. Other things are calling you to grow and expand via taking action to create change. It is your job to learn the discernment between what cannot be changed, and what must be changed by you.
Then from that place, if you are inspired to create a change – and you CAN make a change – do it. If not, then this is something that needs to be, that you are going to be glad happened.
When you can relax into your experience, and accept what you cannot change, you learn.
Lastly, know that even with all of this understanding, when you are in a state of transition, (which you now know is pretty much always ) you are still going to feel fear about change and transition sometimes – because it is unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
You can’t predict the new territory and you don’t really know that you know how to be the new person in those new circumstances. Plus, you are going to have all these contradictory emotions that tell you that you feel scared and lonely and sad and depressed even though you can see that the changes you are making are positive and making you life better.
The past and its delusions (which is just to say the parts of you that were unaware and being brought into the light of awareness through your circumstances) had their reason for existing and letting those go sometimes leaves you in a dark place where comfort seems totally absent in the light of true reality.
Mourn the loss, but remember that it is the birth place of the new.
Let yourself be in this moment more and more and more, until one day you have no more past to complete with, because you are no longer creating moments in time where you were not with reality – and thus gleaning all of its gifts in the moment they were being offered.
Allow yourself to move closer and closer to a state of complete alignment with reality, where no resistance is present.
Where you learn and grow by changing what should be changed by you, and you learn and grow by aligning with everything else as a blessing for your expansion and awakening.
Because that is all that life really is.
The next post I have will give you tools for true growth and expansion, and if you are in the midst of a loss, then know that you are ripe for growth and expansion to happen in your life. This is why we lose things – so that we can grow and shift into something new.
Let me know what you think, as always.