Hello again! Welcome to part Six in the Series on Transformation!
In this post, we are going to cover a rather big subject, and it is one that you are surly ready for now that you have been practicing all the other aspects of transformation from this series.
Together we are going to explore the idea that you have some programming that is causing you to think, feel, behave and perceive the way that you do – and if you are at all living in a state of trauma/drama – that this programming may not be 100% useful OR accurate to you living a happy and fulfilled life.
Before we get into it, I have a youtube video series on this topic, which I highly recommend you check out in conjunction with this post. It will help add layers of context to this particular work, and will provide you with some practical tools you can use to help you sort through your ‘stuff’ The series includes an in depth explanation into all that we will cover in this post, as well as mediations for you to use to help you move through your programming and find yourself in a new place. Check out those videos here – Emotional Mastery Playlist
Ultimately, You Are Perfection:
Each of us has a true, natural, essential self.
This is the part of us that contains the blueprint for what we came here to this planet to be, do and express.
This essential nature is what makes each one of us a unique individual.
What is important to realize here is that truly no two of us here on this planet are the same. There never has been and never will be anyone exactly like you for the rest of eternity – which is something serious to consider.
You naturally represent one of the infinite possibilities of life.
Never to be repeated ever again.
Now apply that to every single individual on the planet.
Now apply that to everything in EXISTENCE.
All animals. All plants. All rocks. All molecules. There is nothing that is exactly like anything else. Many things can be astonishingly similar, but on the deepest, truest level, each and every ‘thing’ that is a part of what we call existence is unique in and of itself. A fractal of the infinite.
This means that there is no such thing as true homogeny. Variation is the name of the game here in existence.
The variations range from being super duper slight and almost incomprehensible, all the way to 100% different – but the overall rule is expression of all possibilities.
So you have an essential nature, which never has been and never will be again. This essential nature is neither right nor wrong – it is simply exactly what it is supposed to be.
There Is No Right Or Wrong In Truth
There are no right or wrong ways to be in infinite perspective. This is important to allow yourself to grasp before we move on. Each expression is right, because it is through this variation that existence is learning about itself. There are no mistakes in creation, because it is truly the experience of being creation that is the point!
What this means for YOU is that exactly how you are, exactly what you like, what you dislike, what you are drawn too, what you enjoy, what you desire – all aspects of you are fully accepted and wanted. From the ultimate perspective you are perfection, because you are exactly you. Your journey, perspective, vantage point, values, opinions – all of it serve the expansion of all that is. You could not do life wrong even if you tried, because you would be the only one who could do it how you did it forever and ever!
You are always right. If you want to play the game of right and wrong.
Let that sink in.
You Have Programming:
Now, if we as a human race were to accept the fact that variation is the point, and that each perspective offers something of immense value, our world would be very different. We would essentially create peace on earth in one fell swoop if we could embrace the inherent value of uniqueness, and if we took the stance of learning from that uniqueness.
This is not the case in our current reality.
What is true for us in this moment is that we are a group of beings that are locked down in fear.
Because of this fear, we are also totally out of alignment with nature – what would propagate the health of humanity, the planet, and everything in between.
The moment we began rejecting ourselves, was the same moment we started to move away from living in a way that could support us. When we rejected our fundamental nature, this was mirrored in how we saw life and nature in the external. We rejected and distrusted ourselves from within, which caused us to reject and distrust life without. We started to believe that we needed to control, manipulate and subjugate ourselves, and at the same time we believed we needed to do these things to nature and society at large.
We believed ourselves to be evil, and then projected that onto everything else. With this, we could no longer learn from nature and the harmony that exists therein, because we couldn’t see it anymore. We blinded ourselves, cut ourselves off, and become a species hell bent on predictability, sameness and security – believing these things would protect us from our own inevitable evil nature.
We became afraid of ourselves, and being that we are a part of nature, we became afraid of all of LIFE.
We started living in ways that were counter to how nature actually functions, which of course has led to disease, destruction and desolation on ALL levels. Now, rather than alerting us to the idea that living out of alignment is not serving us, these disharmonious results simply drove us deeper into fear, into resistance of nature and caused us to try to clamp down even harder on reality in order to gain ‘control’ over the seemingly out of control threats that were jeopardizing our survival and happiness.
We went out of alignment, reaped the rewards of being out of alignment, and rather than coming back into alignment, we continue to try to out run and out smart reality by pushing back against it even harder – to the point that most of us do not even really understand what reality is anymore.
Health seems illusive.
We cannot predict the results of our actions.
We don’t see how hurting someone hurts us.
This is all plain to understand when nature is observed, but when we are separated OUT from nature, it all seems like a grand mysterious ball of terrible luck.
A Fear Of Nature Causes Destruction:
We are essentially afraid that if we were to allow things to unfold naturally, and if we were to simply participate in this unfolding rather than trying to dictate and control it, that we would never get anything we wanted, that we would be left up to the cruel hands of fate, and would most likely die.
We believe that nature is wrong and bad. We believe that the essential nature of humans is chaotic and disorganized or worse, evil and manipulative. We believe that if we are not controlled – externally and internally – that we would descend into madness and utter anarchy.
Armed with the idea that life in and of itself is scary and disorganized, we created social structures. We believed that in order to survive, in order to be happy and get what we want, that we must create unnatural systems to try to control nature, to control life, so that the inherently threatening nature of life can be overcome.
We are afraid of our home, and we are afraid of ourselves.
This fear has caused us to come up with some pretty kookie ideas about how life ‘should’ be, about how society ‘should’ be and about how we as individuals ‘should’ be.
We strived to create homogeny.
We convinced ourselves that we needed to create a mould into which everyone needed to shove themselves. We genuinely thought this would protect us from our own evils, and the evils of nature. We fully lost sight of the fact that diversity creates expansion, and started to fear diversity because it was a threat to ‘survival’ (from our fear based perspective) – a threat to the survival of our human species and of course to the system that we were now playing under.
Basically, we all learned to reject our fundamental, true, unique nature – that would NOT fit into any societal structure, because the nature of variation is to create change – and ‘conform’ to what society said would keep us safe, provided for and loved.
We abandoned ourselves for the promise of love and security.
At the same time, nature cannot be dominated. Not ‘out there’ nature or ‘in here’ nature.
What I mean by this, is that we can break ourselves against nature, against natural law, but we cannot actually break the laws of nature.
Your true nature has remained fully in tact, no matter how far your actions, ideals and mindsets have taken you in other directions. You are still who you have always been. You may now simply be very good at pretending you are not that person, you may be good at putting on the charade of social construct – but your EMOTIONS and your FEELINGS are always there, telling the truth of who you are.
Your Guidance System Is Still Intact, Even With Your Programming:
Your emotional guidance system is still there, trying to lead you down a path that will serve your highest and greatest expression and expansion.
The degree to which you are running off of societal, fear based programming, rather than living from your authentic expression is the exact degree to which you will have emotional/physical/mental turmoil in your being.
This is not to say that when you are living in alignment with yourself that you will never face challenges or discomforts. Not at all. But there is a HUGE difference between feeling the discomfort of challenge and growth on your path of expansion, and the discord of living a life of fear. There is really no comparison between these two states.
The challenge and ‘struggle’ of true growth on your true path is still going to be laced with joy, lightness, freedom and excitement. Once you really get through the phases of pushing past the programming that keeps you separated out from who you are, and you get onto the path that is leading you True North – the emotional experience is always enjoyable – even the painful stuff will be experienced as a welcomed player in the game of your unfolding. The hard stuff, the work that needs to be done, the obstacles on the path will ALL call to you. You won’t want to run and get comfortable. You wont have self-pity or hopelessness. The path will pull you along, and you will want to go along with it – even when it is scary. You can certainly experience dark nights of the soul on the path of truth, but again, that is really when you are in the process of letting go of something that was never really true to your being. You won’t find the same hollow, pit feelings in life when you are on your authentic path.
When trapped in fear, when living out of alignment with who you are at your core and when not taking your growth path, that is when anxiety, depression, deep feelings of being lost, miserable, a victim, and so on are felt. When the light seems absent. When vision is totally blocked.
That is the purpose of these emotions – to alert you to the idea that you are believing things and living in a way that does not align with your truth. With the truth.
So do not run from these deeply heavy emotions, and do not assume they are there for no reason. Also do not resign yourself to a life filled with them.
Learn To Embrace The Negative Emotions As Guides Back To Your Authentic Self:
See them for what they are. Signs and symptoms of programming that does not serve you. Then investigate. Investigate into the people, places, things, thoughts and behaviors that make you feel those deeply troubling feelings. Do the internal investigation work. Start the excavation. Acknowledge the programming has you all turned around, and commit to straightening yourself back out.
There is no mistake in having gone off your path. That will not provide you with the feeling contrast so you will KNOW when you are in alignment with yourself and when you are not.
But do allow yourself to expect something better for you. To know that joy and lightness can be your all the time state – no matter the circumstances. Realize that the fear based programming only has as much power as YOU give it. You do not have to play.
The world does not need to change in order to support your authentic expression.
The only thing that needs to change is you standing in your authenticity.
The world will move out of the way.
It always does.
Because life supports life – and no man can actually conquer nature enough to thwart that rule.
Pain and suffering on the level of deep struggle is meant to steer you in a new direction. It is there to tell you that you are living out of programming, not out of your essential truth.
So, if you are experiencing that deep pain – especially now that you have been diving deeply into awareness, now that you have slowed the motion and asked yourself to look deeply within – good. This stuff is coming up for a reason.
Do not run. Do not try to make it go away. Do not try to numb it out. Of course it is totally OK if you slip into doing these things from time to time. Be gentle on yourself.
As often as you can, employ the practices in the Emotional Mastery series to the deeply painful emotions as they come up. Bring those areas of yourself that get really mad, that get really sad, that get really hurt and insulted into your heart space room. Bring the parts of you that deeply judge yourself and others.
These parts are all the suppressed by programming parts.
How To Identify Programmed Parts That Need To Be Loved:
– The parts of you which are confused about your purpose. The parts that are afraid to step out of the life you are currently living, even though it hurts. The parts of you afraid of change. The parts of you that shut people out, that condemn and criticize, the parts that run from self knowledge – again programmed.
– The parts of you that want to engage in self destructive behavior. The parts of you that assume that life and reality are wrong. That believe this is not how it should go, that things should be easier, faster, clearer, any way that they are not. These are all programmed parts.
– All the aspects of you that blame your circumstances for how you are feeling, that believe that if you just had more money, a better job, a better body, a better relationship, more time, more freedom, a better car, more spiritual experiences, a better spiritual teacher/guide – that all your problems would go away, need to be seen as programming.
– All the parts that feel that life has gone wrong. That see evil in the world around you. That believe that ‘others’ can hurt and harm you. That feels that you live in a scary world full of bad people who have the power to make your life worse – these are programs.
– All the parts of you that resist being happy. That won’t allow for peace in your life. That run from stillness, boredom. The parts of you that need to fill every moment, that create drama in the empty spaces need your love. The parts the get heated in debate, that need to prove your point, that need to be seen and validated to feel ok – need your love.
– The parts that gossip, that pick fights, that go crazy when things seem to be flowing smoothly – all programming.
– The parts that tell you that you need a better wardrobe, a better house, a nicer car, to consume, consume, consume so that one day you will be good enough, acceptable, how you ‘should be’ the parts that truly believe that you lack something – those parts are deeply programmed.
– Any area of yourself that you feel disharmony – know this is sourced from an INTERNAL disharmony. Where your programming is coming face to face with your authenticity, and your programming is winning out.
This may feel like a large undertaking. Like you feel you are standing at the bottom of an insurmountable mountain. Like there is so much programming that you do not even know if it is going to be possible to see yourself through to the other side. Maybe you doubt that it is even POSSIBLE to see yourself through to a place where you are not run by programming.
That is ok.
This is a one step at a time, just as much as you can handle and no more kind of deal.
Intend that you want to start making your way through the labyrinth of your programming, that you want to stop projecting, that you want to stop seeing your ghosts every where you look.
That you are ready to take responsibility for your programming, so you can start to move back towards your truth.
Your true self has never gone anywhere. It is there. Solid. Waiting for you to listen to the emotions that are designed to bring you back home.
Do the practices in the series here. It is put together to walk you through the understandings you need, so that you can apply the tools with greater awareness and ease.
Commit to finding your centre. It is work, but it is worthy work.
One step at a time. Just one step at a time.
See you next week.