Now onto Today!
All Experiences Can Lead To A kind Of Enlightenment:
This next deeper truth that we are able to grasp once we understand that happiness and satisfaction don’t come from ‘completion’ so much as coming from a perpetual growth path, is that ALL experiences lead us on a journey towards AN ENLIGHTENMENT.
If we look at the vibrational scale again, we will see that the most painful states a human can be in is victimhood, shame and guilt.
Most of us look at this scale and say ‘ok, I have to ‘get out of’ these emotional states.
I have to be at enlightenment.’
From there we try to take on whatever we perceive, from our guilt/shame/victim state, to be the ‘enlightened’ perspective of whatever happened to us - thinking that will solve our PAIN. Because remember - we think that it's the EMOTIONAL REACTION to what happened to us or our PERCEPTION of what happened to us that’s what’s causing us our pain.
We are trying to fix or change OURSELVES rather than seeing it was the SITUATION that we didn’t understand that caused us the pain we are in. Our self help, self improvement and spirituality work will feed into this if it's not supporting us in learning to FEEL what happened, and to LEARN from what happened more about ourselves and reality. If our methods of trying to 'heal' from what happened are in any way trying to take us OUT of what happened - to help us dissociate or 'accept' and 'love' what happened as an act of will - they are asking us to REJECT ourselves, our process and the actual path that WOULD LEAD to a NATURAL state of peace.
YOU being broken is not the reason anything hurts you.
THAT is the key to understand foundationally.
YES you may have incorrect perceptions about yourself and reality, that are causing you to take harmful action against yourself/to break yourself against reality - but this is NOT because you are flawed. You were TAUGHT this. The only way THROUGH to a new way is to first UNDERSTAND yourself and reality in a new way - and this ONLY happens through self LOVE and CURIOSITY. When we go in looking to 'fix' we shut ourselves down.
Our experiences HURT when they contain information we don’t understand, and when they go AGAINST the laws of reality.
Pain is not a RESULT of our emotional state - our emotional state is a RESPONSE to the EXPERIENCE we’ve been through.
Pain is there to let us know that we are bumping up against our limits of understanding/are working AGAINST the structure of reality.
An example of the enlightenment experience that occurs when we bump up against our limits of understanding is when we are small children and we climb up onto something and can’t get down - this is going to be a traumatic experience for our nervous systems. We have exposed ourselves to the limits of our understanding - and this NATURALLY leads to a state of ‘fear’ - or awareness of what we don’t know. That’s all fear really is - ignorance of reality.
From there, if we are helped by a caregiver in figuring out how to climb down - we will NATURALLY move through the emotional scale. We will be scared. Then we will have that desire to get down, to figure it out. From there there will be a ‘fiery’ passion - a motivation that grows in our bellies to face the challenge in front of us. This will lead us into a state of courage, then we will become less afraid and emotional overall. We will become more neutral, less threatened, then we will expand into observing our reality as we take in the necessary NEW information to do this NEW task in front of us. As we do we will flow through those states of willingness and acceptance of our reality and what we must do to get down. We will then use our reasoning and logic skills to work out the details of climbing down.
As we learn to climb down we will naturally arrive at love, joy in our accomplishment, peace in having mastered a new skill - and THAT is ENLIGHTENMENT. We just became ENLIGHTENED at the task of climbing down off of something high!
Going from the unknown to a NEW known - all emotions are REQUIRED to help us in each PHASE of that learning process. And it is the process itself that IS the path of enlightenment.
An example of an enlightenment experience that happens when we are opposing the structure of reality would be the pain of self denial.
In our culture, it's SO common that when we are growing up we are being conditioned as to what is and isn’t the ‘right’ way to be as a human being. If something fundamental to our true nature is considered ‘not ok’ by our caregivers, we learn early on that this part of yourself is BAD and must be controlled/condemned/changed.
For instance if you are truly extroverted and your caregivers consider this to be obnoxious. In your childhood you would have developed SHAME and GUILT around this part of yourself because it was in this time an existential threat. You being rejected by your caregivers was a life threatening situation for you, and thus you needed to reject any part of yourself that CAUSED this rejection in order to feel that you were SAFE.
In the long run however, this rejection of your true nature means that you’re not going to be capable of taking on your TRUE growth path - which means you are going to be in a state of stagnation/degradation - and THAT is going to cause you PAIN because it’s going AGAINST the evolutionary structure of life. The more you reject and deny this part of yourself, the more shame and guilt you are going to feel. The more you believe the stories that this extroversion is ‘bad’ the more victimized you’re going to feel in your life overall - because you’re never going to be able to figure out what kind of life really WORKS for you, because you aren’t allowed to CONNECT with your fundamental PARTS so as to GROW them into an ever evolving version of you - that version that would FEEL GOOD as you take on your natural growth process.
In order to stop breaking yourself against reality, again you’re going to find that you must first allow yourself to move past shame and guilt into apathy, then GRIEF over what this part of you has been through and all you’ve lost because of the suppression and repression by your caregivers.
You will then naturally have to pass through that phase of ANGER towards your caregivers and society at large - the systems that have been telling you that who you are isn’t ok. That anger is going to be the FUEL that allows you to burn away the false perceptions of who you are and of what reality is - so that you can then make your way through pride and courage - where you start to EMBODY your extroversion even in the FACE of being rejected or told that you can’t. This ANGER, PRIDE and COURAGE are ESSENTIAL for you to start to embody your suppressed parts. Without those passionate emotions you will be STUCK in shame and guilt forever, because the fear of being rejected will continue to kick you back into self suppression - where you feel that sense of never being satisfied or happy.
From there you will practice being yourself more and more, allowing this part of yourself to FINALLY have space to grow - this will naturally move you into a state of neutrality towards your caregivers and society. As you gain your footing and empowerment, as you CHANGE your way of being to one that SUITS YOU more, you will have less and less resentment for those who hurt you - because you LEARNED from what hurt and have CHANGED. Then you will embrace yourself more, express yourself more, be on an evolutionary path with this extroverted part - and in that you will again naturally move through willingness to be yourself, acceptance of yourself and the consequences of being so.
You will then start to understand WHY your caregivers had their perceptions, why society said what it said - and in THAT you will NATURALLY see and have compassion, love, and reach that enlightened state.
You will be there ONLY when you have EMBRACED yourself, seen WHY it hurt to suppress, journeyed through actually doing what was required so that this part of you could GROW - it won’t be an intellectual journey. You will understand when you are LIVING that new life where you can be your extroverted self. THAT is when you will have peace and a capacity to have true compassion for and understanding of others. When you are SAFE and living your journey - those other states are natural.
Before that, if you try to ‘understand’ too soon before taking the journey to EMBRACE yourself - you won’t embrace yourself. You will be stuck in your loops of trying to have love for the people who taught you to suppress yourself, while you continue to suppress yourself - leaving you in a state of PAIN forever. Not until you LEARN what you needed to learn so you could CHANGE what was hurting you will have the TRUE vantage point of compassion and love.
Once you are doing THIS - again, you are ‘enlightened’ in the sense that you learned that you are extroverted, you learned how to express this, you learned how to make a life that works for this reality of you, you learned to be ok with being rejected, you learned why your caregivers rejected you and have made peace with the journey because it’s not longer STOPPING you from being your TRUE self. Your true self that’s never ‘done’ but always evolving. You will then continue to evolve this part of yourself FOREVER - but it will no longer be a part of you get is in shame or guilt - because it’s been embraced and is now on it’s growth path.
Moving OUT of the suppression, learning how to create a life where you can be your extroverted self, then seeing with compassion why your past happened how it did from your new empowered place - THAT is the route to enlightenment.
It happens naturally as we process.
Every experience can be a path to a more enlightened ‘us’ - one who is better able to understand what we need, better able to understand what harms and hurts us, better able to understand how greater reality works - and in this we can then consciously, in whatever ways possible, make life more pleasurable for ourselves by shifting things so that our fundamental nature is being supported in it’s growth.
Pain Is A GOOD Thing:
So long as we remain in situations where our growth is being disrupted - where we are being harmed, where we are being denied the things we NEED to function and thrive, where we are working AGAINST reality - we are GOING to have negative emotions. Just like so long as we are putting our hand on a burner we are GOING to have pain. When we are in a state of destruction, we FEEL it. This is a GOOD THING. Without this pain management system - pain alerting us to when we are in destruction and pleasure telling us when we are in a state of growth - we wouldn’t be ABLE to create lives for ourselves where we support our own growth and evolution. Culturally we wouldn’t be able to create societal systems that support the overall growth and evolution of humanity.
Now, we have to remember that none of us are ‘choosing’ our pain. We aren’t choosing to be victims - not really.
Most of us learned our harmful ways of being very early in our childhoods. When survival and being approved of/fitting in were one and the same thing - as we depended upon our caregivers for ALL of our needs getting met. We didn’t have any awareness of how reality worked or how we worked - and thus we NEEDED the love and approval of our caregivers in order to be SAFE and provided for. Also, they programmed into our NERVOUS SYSTEMS what was and wasn’t ‘reality’ in this very tender and vulnerable age. We learned not mentally, but PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY what was ‘right and wrong.’ We learned HOW to see the world. HOW to see ourselves. HOW to feel or not feel. We didn’t just learn ‘what’ the rules were - we were learning HOW to discern what the rules were. This imprinting was incredibly powerful and has shaped our lives from then on.
This is why MOST of us never learn to identify what we need, why we hurt, what’s harming us and what would feel better - because our PERCEPTION and NERVOUS SYSTEMS were trained SO early in our lives as to what the rules were that we don’t even know to question what we can’t even see. It’s just ‘reality’ to us. It’s just ‘how things are’ to us.
To assume that being outgoing is obnoxious and that we should feel shame about it is imprinted deep in our wiring. We aren’t consciously choosing that, and we don’t, for the most part, even realize that we COULD question it.
Second, we have societal structures and systems that mean that some people, no matter how empowered or aware they become, can’t actually ‘get out of’ the harmful situations they are in. Harmful governments, relationships, systems of poverty, illness - the truth is, we don’t all have ultimate power over our own lives. We are a collective and we are affected by the whole - and thus SOME people are going to be in a state where they have pain, anger, rage and ‘lower emotions’ on a regular basis because they are going to keep responding to the painful situation they are in. YES these people can empower themselves internally. Yes they can learn. Yes they can reach MULTIPLE moments of enlightenment within their situation (where they learned something new and integrated that information) but that doesn’t always mean they will have the power to really CHANGE the situation. Therefore we would EXPECT that so long as they are in a situation where they are being harmed, they are going to FEEL that harm. It doesn’t matter how long you leave a hand on a burner, how much you make peace with it, how much you try to accept it - so long as your tissue is being damaged there will be the sensation of pain.
This is something we must accept if we really want to have true compassion for ourselves and others, and if we want to be able to make this world a safer place for everyone.
We can’t invent negative emotions. If they are still coming up, there’s still something to be processed. If we are still feeling those ‘lower vibrations’ there’s something to be learned. It may be a shift in perception that’s needed. It may be a shift in our awareness. It may be a shift in our way of being. It may be a combination. But again - we CAN’T invent pain. We can’t invent negative emotion. We aren’t choosing to be victims. We are being harmed in some way, and it’s usually a deep and tangled labyrinth to figure out why and what to do about it.
Let's let this settle for this week, and we will finish this series next week!