Do We “Choose” Happiness? On Toxic Positivity:

Hello Lovely!

Many self help experts and gurus will tell you that happiness is a CHOICE.

That we CHOOSE to see things as positive or negative - that it’s us who decides if we are going to be happy or sad. If we are going to ‘own our power’ by choosing to be bright and sunny or ‘live in fear’ via allowing ourselves to be angry, upset or in any way feeling that we are victim to life.

We are being fed a message these days that any adversity is simply a ‘growth opportunity’ - and that we ALWAYS have the option to take what’s happened to us and turn it into something that makes us stronger, better, more resourceful people.

But is this true?

Do we actually choose our happiness? Do we actually choose how we respond to life? Is there always a bright side? Is it up to us to see this bright side in anything and everything? Is there any benefit at all to allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, upset, or that what was done to us was deeply unfair and NOT something we would EVER choose?

Could the reality be something less black and white? Could there be things we ARE victim to, reactions we DON’T choose, moods we AREN’T in control of, without that meaning that we are powerless victims to life in general? Could there be *some* choice in how we respond to things and how we look at things that DO change our lives, but again, without this giving us total control?

Today let’s take down this idea that there is ALWAYS the option to be happy, and ALWAYS the option to ‘choose’ how we are reacting and responding to life, so we can find the nuance, where our power actually lies, and how to best move through this life of complexity without needing a black and white attitude.