Shame is one of the most uncomfortable of all the negative emotions.
To feel that there is something deeply ‘off’ about you. That you have done something that is irreparably damaging to yourself, others and your future. To feel that you have made a mistake that you can’t ever clean up.
Feeling as though you are fundamentally flawed in some way, or that your course of action was SO out of line, so off center, so bad, that you must use a huge amount of internal punishment in order to stop yourself from ever doing or being how you were ever again.
Shame is something we are taught - most of us in early childhood. We learn to feel a deep sense of ‘wrongness’ when we make a mistake - because we are shown by our caregivers that this is the right course of action. This is innocent, but deeply damaging if left unchecked.
Today, we are going to do a deep dive into shame - why we have shame, why we carry it forward with us into our adulthood, why we hold onto it and how we can work with it to see something that may be a little more evolved.
You don’t need shame in order to become a better person. Let’s explore why and how together.