Getting Trapped In Childhood:

When we were rejected or abandoned by our caregivers/society in childhood - upon whom we were fully dependent - this triggered our nervous system into survival mode. (You know how people say we are living with a 'reptilian race? This is what they mean. Humans who are in such a state of fear they are living from a much more primitive set of perspectives rooted in fear and fighting rather than expansion and intelligence.) Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. This shut down our natural growth, exploration, expression and evolutionary action plan. These parts of self learned to adapt rather than grow. This was a temporary solution that most of us never evolve past.

We get stuck in 'trauma' when these parts don't get 'integrated' when we are adults.

Integration is the process of bringing LOVING PRESENCE to these parts of self. Loving presence settles the nervous system and releases these parts to grow.

The feeling that we are being loved reads as safety and provision to OUR SPECIFIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS - the ones we have inherited through the generations. This is again due to the temporary reality of our childhoods where our parents love = provision. Their rejection meant death because THEY WERE OUR SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING. If they rejected us, they may then not feed, clothe or nurture us. This is why to us, approval = safety and feeling secure where as rejection = feeling like death.

Generational sin is that which our family believed to be how reality worked (ie. how to achieve what was desired and how to avoid what was unwanted) that wasn't in alignment with how reality really works. It is how our lineage got their needs that they didn't understand met in ways that are out of sync with life generation. We learn these behaviors and carry them forward. It's how our families and communities adapted to unideal situations, antagonism and harm. It's not something 'bad' about us - it's simply how we COPED with a world that was scary, antagonistic or otherwise confusing to us.

We also have to acknowledge that our systems have caused trauma, which has caused us to develop coping mechanisms that society then tells us are 'flaws' within our individual nature. This is false.

Learning to see the WHOLE PICTURE and how not being safe/not getting our needs met/being antagonized throughout the generations has affected us is KEY to again understanding our ultimate innocence, and understanding what we NEED vs. moving us into a state of self 'fixing'.

We are not broken, we are life RESPONDING to life - and if that response seems unhealthy, that means we need more love, awareness and a return to our humanity through a change in systems - not 'fixing.'

Each experience you have is information. That information interacts with the seeds of what you are, and this is what growth is. The relating of 'you' with 'greater existence' (God interacting with God to expand Gods awareness of God so God can create more God).

When we reject information/experience something we don't understand that we don't process, we have an experience that gets stored in our being until we are ready to look at it, and let it inform our seeds so they can become more aware of reality. Again this 'stuck experience' can be passed down through generations as we ADAPT (dealing with the consequences of our misalignments ie. pain, with coping/self sabotage/scapegoating rather than LEARNING and ALIGNING - this is adaptation/generational 'sin.' Trying to cope with that which was harmful, painful or antagonistic in whatever ways we knew at the time, and in whatever ways were demonstrated to us. Taking on familial patterns, and then COPING with results rather than CHANGING).

When we can start from a place of COMPASSION for ourselves whenever we look at what we consider 'flaws' in our being, we will begin the process of figuring out what we were responding to, how it hurt, why it hurt and what needs to change so that we can feel better - both the things WE can do differently and the things we as a collective need to learn to do differently.

This is 'childlike' curiosity. Why? How come? Where? How? These questions we all have are born of our natural knowledge that growth = life and new awareness/information/experience (different words for the same thing) is what generates that growth. These questions have been bred out of us as we grow - turning into SHAME, GUILT and FEAR when we don't know - leading to MORE pain and MORE ADAPTING.

We can't grow if we can't question - and we can't grow when we don't know how to PROCESS pain as INFORMATION - when we get stuck in blame, shame and guilt. Most get stuck in the cycles of pain = we are doings something wrong and that makes us BAD - so we look to SELF IMPROVE which is a cul-de-sac, or we make pain mean we are TRAPPED and thus we ADAPT.

Thus your 'higher self' parts are the parts of you that have learned from the information made available to you through your experiences. The parts that have grown along with your current level of awareness and capacity to know and create.

Your 'ego' or 'bad parts' are the parts of you stuck in childhood/misunderstanding/pain due to circumstances outside of our control. They are not bad. They are immature and don't match your level of experience and potential awareness. They are 'unintegrated' seeds of you that haven't absorbed and grown. They are COPING with DESTRUCTION rather than EVOLVING into HIGHER EXPRESSION.

We all have fear of growing what was rejected/abandoned in our childhoods because to our nervous systems we still feel rejection and abandonment by others will equal death. We haven't grown into the awareness of our adult bodies and capacity to provide for ourselves. That's why we stay stuck.

We have parts that hurt due to being trapped in fight, flight, freeze and fawn rather than true expression.

This Is CONDITIONING:

This is what conditioning and illusion are. The stories painted on top of reality that tell you you can't survive as you. That life works in a way that is antagonistic to who you are in some way, as though God could be against God.

Illusion is simply believing reality works one way, when it in fact works another. To be in illusion is painful because it means that as we go about LIVING (working to create our desires) we can't do so effectively, because we don't know how the system works.

This one illusion that separation = competition/antagonism/good and bad parts, right vs. wrong - that then makes us REJECT parts of reality (ourselves and greater reality) causing blocking of information and thus no growth. In this there can only be pain - decay.

Conditioning = any story of antagonism or antagonism being the 'right way'. Any story of life being AGAINST us when we are in pain, rather than life being NEUTRAL and US being the ones who are acting out of sync with the structure.

We then LIVE OUT this illusion - creating it FOR OURSELVES as we act in antagonistic ways towards LIFE and OTHERS. Reality is never antagonistic. It is neutral. It is cause and effect. HUMANS can be antagonistic and can PERCEIVE antagonism when life doesn't 'go our way.' This does not make it a reality. It makes it an illusory experience.

Creation:

Only the conscious mind can be conditioned, can believe that which isn't true. This is because the conscious mind is meant to CREATE. Creation/life/growth are all NEW EXPRESSIONS/EXPANSIONS upon what is. That which has never existed before. Life is the process of continually projecting DESIRE (seeds of you mixing with greater reality, fueling GROWTH, which is something that has NEVER BEEN BEFORE - without desire there could be no life as it's the driving force for expansion itself) onto reality, so as to create that which has never existed before through evolving what is. This can be used for destruction via trying to create what DOESN'T exist outside the structure/trying to create something that opposes the structure. This is where we feel antagonism.

The conscious mind can't differentiate creation that's in alignment with truth with creation that's out of alignment. It's one job is to figure out HOW to execute DESIRE. It will work to create ANYTHING in the way it ALREADY KNOWS HOW - until it get's new information/is informed by FEELING that something is out of sync with truth, it will continue to try to create whatever is desired as it is already doing.

The FEELING self is always being alerted to truth. There are only TWO feelings - pain and pleasure. Ultimately they are both just INFORMATION about this existence. These feeling CLUSTER into EMOTIONS which are complex groupings of information.

We experience emotions because we are complex. Able to take in more than one piece of information at a time (pain/pleasure). Each experience generates emotion because it's offering us a cluster of information. Mixes of pain/pleasure letting us know more about existence.

Emotions = COMPOSITES of FEELINGS. Clusters of information about ourselves and reality.

We become Emotionally Masterful when we develop the capacity to FEEL emotion without REACTING right away. We have to let them run THROUGH our perception machine. Let them INTEGRATE and INFORM us. Then we get to CHOOSE if we want to follow the pain or the pleasure. We dissect all the pieces, until we see the paths of pain and pleasure, then we get to decide where we want to walk.

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See you next week for Part Three 🙂

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Let’s Talk About Conditioning And Why It Matters On The Spiritual Path

Getting Trapped In Childhood:

This Is CONDITIONING:

Creation:

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