Monday Musings ~ How To Tell The Difference Between Important Discipline and ‘White Knuckling’ Change.

Hello Loves!

If you have been watching this channel for a while, you are well aware that ‘self improvement’ doesn’t work.

If you watched last week's videos, you also know why you are never going to 'get rid of' any aspect of yourself - and why you don't actually WANT to get rid of any part of yourself. You understand why you 'self sabotage' and why this is totally innocent.

You get that working from a place of believing who and what you are right here in this moment is ‘wrong’ or bad, and needs to be ‘fixed’ in some way.

The reason? Because this automatically puts you in a state of ‘fear’ (that place where you can’t take in new information because you are so busy feeling terrible about yourself OR going into defense mode) and thus you are not able to take in the NEW information required to actually grow.

You know that in order to grow, you must be moving from a place of self acceptance. When you are berating or shaming yourself - even in a way that you may think is simply being ‘realistic’ about where you are and about he consequences of what you are doing - if you are harsh with yourself, you will shut yourself down. You will go into defense against OURSELF. You will rebel from yourself. You will sabotage all efforts you make to change. You will push yourself to do things you are not ready for and you will end up feeling like a failure.

At the same time, you know that in order to grow, you have to change. You have to do things that are out of your comfort zone. As the old saying goes - in order to get something you have never gotten, you must do something you have never done. You must bring order to where there is currently chaos - more intelligence to where there is currently less intelligence - and this requires that you tighten up on yourself in certain ways. There is a level of having to do hard things when it comes to growth - even when that growth is being motivated by the most loving intentions.

So. How do you balance this? How do you know when you are working from a place of self love or self torture? How do you know when what you are doing is the right next step for you, or if it is just pushing through something that you will inevitably not be able to maintain?

That is what we are going to cover here today.

Have a listen and see what you think.

<3