If there’s one thing that’s the MOST misunderstood in the health/wellness/spirituality circles - it has to be negative emotions.
On the tails of that, what the spirituality world has done with the concept of ‘enlightenment’ or ‘acceptance of what is/perfect peace/adopting a transcended, all is one, all is right, I see it all for what it is perspective’ is also totally limiting and leaving most people stuck in loops of white knuckled ‘positivity frenzies/dissociative states’ that then lead to a crash into despair, depression, hopelessness and chaos.
Most of what is being taught in the way of how to get to a place where you feel GOOD in this life, where you ‘understand’ what happened to you, where you no longer have a ‘victim mentality’ and can have nothing but compassion for all life on earth, is actually the exact OPPOSITE to the path that would lead to this desired destination.
In the next few blogs I want to dispel the myths of negative emotions, the vibrational scale, trying to ‘be at enlightenment’ before we’re ready - and I hope to help you see that when you ALLOW for the natural processing of your actual emotions, when you allow yourself to actually INTEGRATE what you’ve been through, that you will ARRIVE at these states of awareness/acceptance/love NATURALLY. You won’t have to force it. You don’t have to try to get there.
At the end of the day - you can’t actually ‘fake it till you make it.’
You can’t get there by trying to skip steps, and the more you attempt to do so, the longer you keep yourself stuck.
You will have access to this PROCESSING work through the work of SELF LOVE.
The only way to enlightenment, is THROUGH the process of all of our emotions.
The Vibrational Scale Is A MAP, Not A Grading System:
Most people look at the vibrational scale - which we get from 'Power Vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, and think ‘bottom emotions bad, top emotions good.’
Then we go about the business of trying to force ourselves to ‘get out of’ our anger, sadness, ‘victim mentality’, resentment, indifference and so on, clawing desperately at feeling ‘love’, ‘oneness’, ‘forgiveness’, ‘compassion’ and the elusive ‘enlightenment’ - where again we see all things as perfect, carry no more pain, fear, resentment or confusion and are perfectly ‘aligned’ with the magical fairy dust of peace and harmony shooting out of our eyes 24/7.
Many of us measure our ‘goodness’ or ‘how spiritual we are’ by what we are FEELING based on this scale. We beat ourselves up and consider ourselves ‘less evolved/transcended’ when we have anger, resentment, sadness or in any way feel like we were hurt or victimized by someone or something.
We’re told that to indulge these negative emotions will make them GROW. That we will be caught ‘wallowing’ in our anger, our sadness, our unforgiveness - and this will cause us damage in the long run. We’re told that we MUST forgive, have compassion, accept, see all things as perfect as QUICKLY as possible - lest we be judged as not actually evolved/mature or doom ourselves to excessive suffering.
We tend to fear these negative emotions and we tend to BLAME them for our problems.
I’ve heard of many people say that they were afraid they were going to ‘manifest’ illness, negative situations, bad relationships, poverty or even death if they allowed themselves to ‘stay stuck’ in their negative emotions/victim states. I’ve heard people claim that they DID ‘manifest’ painful experiences BECAUSE of their negative emotional states, as a kind of warning to their friends, family and followers to not make the same ‘mistake’ that they did.
I’ve heard spiritual teachers preach that we set ourselves up for not having ‘abundance’ or never attracting to ourselves our ‘desired lives’ because we are stuck in ‘lack’ mentality - stuck in our loops of anxiety, depression, sadness, negativity and fear. Saying that it’s our job to manually shift our EMOTIONAL state each day, so that we can be better ‘attractors’ for all the light and positive experiences we wish to have.
Finally, I get that being in these negative emotional states HURTS. Well, more honestly, it appears as though it's the emotion that’s causing us our pain, and so it makes perfect sense that as humans who want to FEEL GOOD we would want to ‘get rid of’ the thing that we think is hurting us.
This way of looking at the vibrational scale as a grading system, is really messing us up. It’s hindering our growth, it’s stifling our potential and it’s stopping us from processing our life experiences.
The first thing we have to understand is this - we can’t invent root emotions.
Root emotions are RESPONSES to stimuli - they are not the CAUSE of anything.
It’s true that being in certain emotional states can cause us to take actions, but these are not our ROOT core feelings. The root core feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, hopelessness and victimization that we ‘fall back into’ every time we try to positive frenzy/dissociate our way out of our ‘negative’ state - those are the core feelings that are asking for processing.
Those CORE emotional states are RESPONSES to the EXPERIENCES we have had in this life.
The Reality Of Enlightenment:
Most of us are taught that ‘enlightenment’ is a place we ‘arrive’ at - and then we live there for the rest of our lives. It’s something we strive towards endlessly - again often times in a way where we are encouraged to deny, dissociate from, try to ‘fix’ or ‘get away from’ parts of ourselves, what we are feeling, what we are thinking and where we genuinely ARE in our process.
Many of us are pursuing enlightenment because we think once we reach this state we will NEVER have a negative emotion again. That we will never get hurt again. That we will be in a state of only positivity, manifesting only happy experiences and generally existing in a kind of heaven like state.
Ie. we believe that if we can just get our emotions right, we will get to a place where we can avoid all future pain forever. We are believing on some level that it is our emotional state/our perceptions ONLY that cause us pain - that it’s not the actual experiences of life that hurt us but rather only how we see/respond to them that is the problem. We are telling ourselves that if we can just get our response right, nothing will ever hurt us again AND we will then only ‘manifest’ pleasant things. We will protect ourselves from all pain because either we will be too ‘enlightened’ for ‘bad’ things to happen to us OR we will be too ‘enlightened’ to perceive anything as bad - and thus we will have our happily ever after.
Even if you aren’t someone who buys into the concept of enlightenment, or if you don’t identify as being someone who is chasing enlightenment, chances are your spiritual practices and path are encouraging you to strive towards a state of being ever loving, ever compassionate, ever ‘seeing the bigger picture’ and more ‘mature’ than everyone else.
Most self help/self improvement work revolves around this same core principle - YOU are the thing that's broken/wrong/faulty/not working and are the thing that needs to be FIXED or CHANGED on some level so you can have a new experience.
Look at all of your current self help/self love work - is it rooted in trying to FIX something about yourself so you can have a different experience? So you can have a different relationship? Job? So you can get rid of a coping mechanism or addiction? So that you can stop having 'negative thoughts' or 'limiting beliefs' and therefore create a new life?
Chances are there is a narrative that YOU are the reason for ‘bad things’ happening - either your actions, your thoughts or your sinful nature are the reason you’ve suffered, and thus it’s up to you to change whatever it is fundamentally about YOU that’s causing you to have these experiences if you ever want to experience true happiness.
Now, from my vantage point, I don’t really think this is how life works or how life will ever work.
This way of thinking only triggers our tender nervous systems, makes us feel MORE abandoned, rejected and alone - even if the stress of it leads to that 'high' feeling that we are finally going to 'get free' for a few days, months or weeks. This approach of believing we are fundamentally flawed is the REASON we are all so STUCK in this life.
We are believing we are broken, and that once we 'fix' that broken thing about us, we will finally have bliss forever. No more pain. No more confusion. No more bad experiences. Just alignment, purpose, wisdom and knowing all the time.
In Reality, it appears to me that the ONE characteristic that all of life shares is it’s capacity to grow and evolve. Anything that is alive MUST be capable of evolution on some level. Otherwise it’s in a state of stagnancy, and that doesn’t seem to be something that our cause and effect universe supports for very long. What we are seeing if we observe all of life, is that once stagnancy is reached, if evolution isn’t taken on again in some form, then a process of degradation will start to occur. Anything that isn’t growing is going to start to break down, so that it can be returned to it’s elemental parts to start a new life that DOES have the capacity to grow and evolve.
Thus, growth and change are a requirement for being alive. A requirement for life.
Getting to a place and staying there doesn’t appear to be an option in this reality we all share.
Rather, it seems to me that the beings on this planet who are ACTUALLY experiencing the most joy OVERALL - the ones who have the most peace, the most pleasure, the most ‘enlightened’ perspective ‘most’ of the time are the people who are fully embracing their HUMAN nature and HUMAN journey.
It appears to me that what ACTUALLY brings us satisfaction in this life is to be fully on our journey of self discovery, expression and expansion. To be continually LEARNING new things about ourselves and reality, and in this learning being given the capacity to EXPAND UPON what we are - becoming something new, more complex, more aligned with ultimate truth in our relative way via each experience we have.
In short, it seems to be that chasing being ‘complete’ is to misunderstand life.
It seems to me that what we should really be looking for is to be living a life of GROWTH. What satisfies the human spirit is not ‘arriving’ anywhere so much as being on the path. When we can allow ourselves to embrace this, we can then start to see a deeper truth about reality.
Let this settle and we will continue on next week!