Why Can’t We All Just ‘Wake Up?’

Hello Beautiful;
In this and the next post, I want to explore a topic that is very, very close to my heart.
I want to look at why I don't believe it is 'possible' for every human - or even MOST humans - to awaken to truth and reality in this lifetime.
Why I think for the most part, people waking up and learning to live in alignment with reality is going to be a rare thing. Why I'm not sure that there will be a 'mass awakening' where the 'majority' of people become aware of reality to the point that there is a societal tipping point, creating a world where being 'awakened' is the norm in culture. We all have such ideas about what being 'awake' really is - and this is part of that conundrum. True awakening is a grounding in reality - and THAT is hard to do with all of our traumas and triggers and perceptual filters. Many believe they are 'waking up' when really they are diving down into holes of conspiracy that are just triggering and activating their own traumas and bias.
It's deeply complex.
Before I begin, if you believe that the reason that not all humans are going to wake up is cosmic/predestined - I hear you and validate that perspective. I get that it can really look like things are just how they are - that we are merely here to walk out and observe our karma. If this is your current world view, I totally get why you hold it and see it as a possibility as well.
If you believe that everyone 'should' wake up, where there's a sense of impending doom for you around the idea that we aren't going to see this mass awakening any time soon - again I deeply empathize with you. I know that this idea causes a LOT of pain, and I would encourage you to really LOVE yourself in the trauma of the idea that not everyone is going to wake up this time around. I encourage you to sit with what you CAN do to support those who are ON THE PATH, and more importantly what you can do for YOURSELF as you awaken.
Start to see where your power does and doesn't lie, and where you have the ability to make yourself safe in the world that we currently have, while working towards an ever more equitable and resourced one. As this is what will serve to create the conditions for a more sustained awakening as a human race.
Remember to - you are NOT responsible for the world. You are not here to wake anyone up but yourself. What you do from that place is your offering to this world - but again it's not your JOB. You can't awaken anyone any more than you can make someone stay asleep. Nourish and nurture this part of yourself that feels responsible.
I want to offer today and next week, a possible explanation for WHY this awakening is so damn difficult, what the obstacles are that are in *most* people's way, and to offer some small things we can all do to again, create the conditions for a world where more people have what they need to walk the awakening path.
We don't have total control, and we don't have no power. The truth is somewhere in the middle.
Let's dive in and see how we go!

There's a REASON Most Won't Wake Up In This Lifetime:

There is a very simple explanation for why most people will never ‘wake up’ in this lifetime.

It’s physical and biological more than anything.
You see, we are programmed for SURVIVAL. First and foremost. What we want is to be able to GROW and EXPRESS. To develop our genetic potential. That's what ALL life wants to do - from the most seemingly ‘unconscious’ life to the most conscious - it all ‘acts’ in a pseudo conscious way in that it favors that which supports its growth and recoils in some form or fashion from that which is antagonistic.
As human beings, being complex as we are, we have this basic fundamental characteristic. We naturally favor that which serves our growth and recoil from that which is antagonistic to us. And how do we determine the difference between these two things?
Pain and pleasure.
At its CORE ROOT - pain is meant to alert us to that which is out of synch with our growth.
Pleasure is meant to show up in times and places where our growth is being supported.
But here’s where things get complicated:
We as human beings do not have a 1 to 1 relationship with real reality.
Rather, we are SOCIAL beings that have STORY TELLING capacity that can override our perception of reality. We can invent things, place meaning on things, create stories that have NOTHING to do with actual reality but that make seeming logical and reasonable sense to us.
We can, for periods of time, endure the consequences of our out of alignment with reality ideas, that lead to out of alignment with reality actions, because we are COMPLEX.
We have the benefit of TIME - meaning there is a buffer between our choices and their consequences that give us the capacity to OBSERVE outcomes and change course - rather than having to see anything we are doing it’s ultimate end if that happens to be something destructive.
We can use the feelings of pain and pleasure to CHANGE COURSE before our actions destroy us. We are complex. We don’t immediately combust as soon as we go out of alignment with reality. We have lots and lots of buffer and resiliency within us.
This is how we can LEARN about reality.
The fact that we can consciously break from reality, witness the consequences of that - pain or pleasure - determine WHY the outcome was what it was and then change course if the outcome was painful allows us to become AWARE of the LAWS of reality. Because we can break them and experience pain, we then have the contrast of the aligning with them, having pleasure and then seeing WHY. That’s the whole benefit of being ‘conscious.’
Now, where this gets complicated.
In our childhoods, we were fully deponent upon our CAREGIVERS for survival. We were not directly interacting with reality. We couldn’t. We didn’t have the mental, emotional or physical CAPACITY to interact with real reality. To understand and follow the laws.
We could not identify our own needs (that which was required for our growth) we could not understand our pain (that which was against our growth) nor could we provide anything for ourselves.
Our COMPLEX selves - that had mental/emotional/spiritual/physical needs that were ever increasing in THEIR complexity as WE grew and evolved.
Thus, we needed our caregivers to understand us, approve of us, and then provide everything for us. We were victim to our caregivers view of reality, view of us, ability to understand and provide for us. As we grew, we started to develop our story telling capacities, justifications for things and awareness of the rules of our HOUSEHOLD. We started to be able to follow the basic tenets of the house that then got us love and approval and therefore got us safety and provision.
Also historically getting kicked out of the tribe ALSO meant DEATH. To survive as a solo person was next to impossible. We survived and evolved and created all we have TOGETHER.
To our nervous systems, from the very beginning - ACCEPTANCE and APPROVAL from the outside world WAS SURVIVAL. Aligning with real reality didn’t matter in childhood.
Read that again.

We Learned To Survive First In A Codependent Reality That Isn' How 'Real Life' Works - Not Even WITH Our Social Structures:

Aligning with the CONSENSUS REALITY of your HOUSEHOLD is what got you provision.
Provision of your needs.
THIS was how you survived.
To go against consensus for real reality - what your true felt sensations were telling you would actually have been WORSE for your survival short term than going with FALSE REALITY and that which would have felt BAD to you in your felt experience. The opposite is true LONG TERM. But during your initial programming, acceptance = provision = survival.
In our earliest childhood experience, survival was not about true pain or true pleasure - it was about CONSENSUS REALITY pain and pleasure.
Meaning, anything that got us rejected became ‘bad’. Anything that got us accepted became ‘good.’
You aligning with your true nature - which is what you need for growth OVERALL LONG TERM as a human being was NOT what was required for your growth and survival AS A CHILD.
ACCEPTANCE was what was required for your growth as a child.
You could not provide for yourself. It didn’t matter how much you knew about real reality, how much you aligned with it, how much you were aware of your suffering - if it wasn’t the reality of your HOUSEHOLD it wasn’t reality.
You were programmed that acceptance = provision.
That aligning with what those around you expect = survival.
That to be something that gets you rejected is to be UNSAFE - this is where ALL your ‘self hate’ comes from.
Any part of you that got you rejected is now something you demonize in yourself. Any part of you that you needed to be to be loved that ISN’T a part of who you are, is something you do and then have to COPE WITH. All your scapegoats and coping come from how you are DEALING with the PAIN that comes with aligning with consensus. It feels good in the MOMENT and on the SURFACE - but there is PAIN in the long run. And vice versa if you haven’t integrated the nervous system trauma of your childhood - there will be some initial pleasure in going with real reality, but there will be nervous system based consensus reality pain if this alignment gets you rejected.
In your adulthood, it causes you pain to be something you aren’t. It causes you pain to not be what you are. Because these two things are counter to your ACTUAL GROWTH and EXPRESSION.
Your nervous system is still wired that approval = survival.
Thus, it also FEELS BAD to go AGAINST your conditioning/society/the rules because this feels like a DEATH to your BODY. It feels like certain death.
Now, this would all be fine if our childhood homes and our society in general aligned with real reality. If the rules for survival in society were equal to the rules for survival in reality.


Alright, let's take a breather here and come back to this next week.

I would love to hear your thoughts between now and then.



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