News flash - no one on the planet actually lacks ‘self love.’
Not on a visceral, nervous system level.
Instead, we are all, in many ways, still animals that have nervous systems that are wired for one thing and one thing only - self preservation.
When we were children, we learned on a VISCERAL LEVEL - before our brains could processes and understand - that LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE = PROVISION. Because it did. Our caregivers had to love and accept us in order to provide for us.
With that, we learned that needs got met through OTHERS and the way we got our needs met was through being whatever we needed to be/not be in order to be ACCEPTED.
This is where we learned to ‘hate’ aspects of ourselves - the parts of self that got us rejected were then internalized as a threat to us.
This is where we learned to cope, self sabotage, self reject, make ourselves bigger or smaller, adapt and behave in ways that were seemingly ‘not good for us’ but were the BEST way to be to navigate our childhood homes.
This is why as we grow up we can’t change our behaviour readily. Why we repetitively choose harmful environments and ways of being - because that is our adaptation. That’s what’s familiar to our systems.
Today we are going to dive DEEP into why you do what you do and why NONE of it is motivated from NOT loving yourself, but from doing what you think you need to do to survive based on what you experienced in your childhood.
We can re-wire, but we must acknowledge reality and our programming first.