Nothing in the human psyche is more misunderstood than the innocent - and much feared - inner critic.
That voice we all have in our heads that tells us how inadequate we are. How lacking we are. How not enough we are. How too much we are. How we are never doing anything right. How we are always messing up. How no one likes us and never will. The one telling us we should be doing, accomplishing and creating more. That voice that NEVER lets us rest.
Many teachers will tell you that you need to shut this voice up. Visualize them in a funny hat, see them as silly and just tuck them away. Others tell you that you need to just ignore this voice. To 'Positivity frenzy' yourself every day so that you drown out the messages of this voice. Others tell you to simply 'disidentify with the inner critic.' To 'transcend' this lower part of yourself and only identify with the higher, more enlightened aspects of self.
Most of us find that no matter what we do, we simply get taken over by this voice. We try to not listen. But everything the inner critic says seems so TRUE. So REAL. They are RIGHT - and if we just stop listening to them, how will we know when we are going totally off the rails? How will we ever stop ourselves from acting in ways that ARE bad that ARE inherently wrong, that ARE lacking and that get us rejected?
We are afraid to listen to the voice, and at the same time equally afraid to STOP listening to the voice.
It often feels like a totally IMPOSSIBLE task to NOT see this voice as correct. And all the self love teachers telling us to 'love' the parts of ourselves we hate can actually feel WRONG. Bad. Dangerous. It's not uncommon to feel like to develop compassion or care or curiosity for the parts of ourselves we hate right now would be DANGEROUS. We can feel like those who are telling us to 'love these parts' are just WRONG. Not getting it. Not really understanding the GRAVITY of WHY we hate these parts and MUST hate them.
There is also a deep ABANDONMENT wound that can easily be triggered by self love - that makes self love feel dangerous, wrong or deeply uncomfortable/impossible. It's possible that for some who resist loving the self/loving parts of self that they are dealing with a trigger they aren't aware of that needs to be brought to light before true self love is going to be possible.
So what do we do?
Today, I want to give a totally DIFFERENT perspective on the inner critic. I want to dive into WHY that inner critic is REALLY there - what their ACTUAL intention is for you, and how you can work WITH this voice so as to find forward momentum in your life. I want to explore the deep unconscious reasons we resist self love so that we can work with our traumas CLEARLY in order to actually move forward.
Because you're not wrong - that voice DOES have some wisdom for you - but no, this doesn't mean that it's terrible feeling criticisms of you are actually true. The truth is much more complex.
Let's dive into the inner critic today so you can find your peace with them and bring them on board to actually serving you and your life.