Learning to actually follow and listen to your intuition is a real challenge for most of us.
The truth is, many of us can admit that on some level we DO feel connected to our internal guidance system.
We do have a sense of what is and isn’t right for us. We do get those little nudges that tell us to ‘go here’ or to ‘avoid that.’
We have times of deep inspiration and insight around what we WANT to be doing vs. what we don’t want to be doing, what feels good, what feels bad and we notice that there are patterns in the things that tend to go well for us and the things that don’t.
We have a sense of our inner being talking to us - telling us to avoid certain people, telling us not to do certain things society tells us we ‘have’ to do, telling us to follow a passion or something that brings us a feeling of purpose.
We KNOW that we have an inner voice that IS speaking to us.
But the problem is, when we actually consider following the voice, a whole bunch of resistance surfaces.
Today I want to talk about how we can start to notice our intuition, how we can slow down and pay attention to how our intuition speaks to us and how we can notice the stories we have around what following our intuition will mean and the fears we have in that area so that we can begin to create some SPACE around those stories instead of letting them totally take over.
Because for most of us, we’re not going to be able to simply go from living a life of following what we feel we ‘should’ to a life where we can fully listen to our inner guidance in one fell swoop - we need steps. We need tools to process those steps. We need a map for how we can get from our place of inner resistance to a place of actually trusting ourselves.
So let’s dive into all of that, shall we?
All The Stories That Keep Us From Following Our Guidance:
To begin, I want you to know that it’s TOTALLY normal to have a whole slew of stories that keep you from being able to follow your intuition.
It’s totally, totally normal to have resistance that doesn’t feel like resistance, but feels like TRUE reality telling you that if you follow your intuition something terrible is going to happen to you.
It’s fully and completely normal to FEEL in your body that sense of heaviness, dread, constriction, contraction and general ‘ickiness’ when we consider doing what our intuition wants us to do, and then noticing all the thoughts and fears that come on the heels of that to stop us.
Again for most of us, the thoughts and following feelings about why we absolutely CAN’T and SHOULDN’T follow that voice of guidance within us feels like an objective observation of reality. It feels like truth with a capital T - and it feels like if we WERE to go against those warning signs and listen to that voice inside, that we would for SURE destroy our lives.
I want you to know that if this is you, you’re not the only one, this isn’t unique to you and it’s not actually a sign that for YOU following your intuition really WOULD destroy your life or that the way you are seeing reality right now is actually accurate.
Rather, you are like everyone else (sorry!) who has protector parts that have been indoctrinated in many ways to stay in alignment with culture and cultural expectation in order to keep yourself safe.
That is really what’s at the ROOT of any and all fear of following your intuition.
There is a deep fear that going with what we FEEL, when that contradicts what we grew up being taught was the ‘right’ way to live/be/gain love/be approved of, is going to mean that we get eternally rejected and that we make a fatal mistake that will derail our lives forever.
The feelings of resistance, contraction, restriction and fear that come up when we imagine ourselves actually following our guidance aren’t feelings born out of seeing how life actually is and what we need to do - they are coming from conditioning that says if we do things differently than what we have been doing, we will risk not being loved and not being safe.
These are our childhood parts that believe that the only way to get our needs met is to live in alignment with our conditioning - both familial and cultural - and that to do anything different would mean ultimate rejection and possibly death!
THAT is why those feelings feel so terrible and so strong. They are your childhood, protector parts rising up to keep you in line so that you don’t risk your life.
Because these protector parts are not yet aware that you can now, as an adult, be misunderstood, be rejected, go your own way, forge your own path and discover new ways of being and still be ok.
Those protector parts are not yet aware that staying within your conditioning isn’t the only way to keep yourself alive, well and loved. They still think you will die if you do something different - and THAT’S why that feeling of shame, guilt and doom can be so strong.
Those are your protector parts coming up to save you from taking a risk that could lead to rejection.
So let’s start to look at the most common ways this protection shows up, and how we can compassionately comfort these parts in order to make space for potentially learning to take steps towards following our guidance, even as we are afraid.
Observing The Thoughts As Protection First:
To begin, before we even dive into any specific thought, I want to invite you to consider that the FIRST thing we all need to learn to do when we are going on a path of trying to trust and follow our intuition, is to be able to learn to WITNESS our stories of resistance and fear as just that - stories.
Not objective reality.
We need to learn to create some space between ourselves and our stories, so that we don’t get totally lost in the belief that those stories are objective reality and that they can’t be questioned.
Thus, the most important step there is to take as we begin this work of connecting to our intuition is taking some time to get to know the thoughts that come up when we get those messages and then feel like we can’t follow them.
But even before that, we need to get a clear idea of how YOUR intuition speaks to you so that we can observe the cascade of thoughts and feelings that follow.
- Can you start to become aware of what it feels like for you to get that intuitive sense inside yourself?
- Do you notice yourself feeling energetically drawn to certain things and repulsed by others?
- Do you notice yourself having a repetitive desire to follow a certain path or a perpetual feeling that a way of life just ISN’T for you?
- Do you have a natural curiosity in a certain area or something in your life that you really want to get rid of?
- Do you notice yourself having a ‘sense’ about people and how certain interactions are going to go?
- Do you notice your body being pulled to or away from certain people or environments?
- Do you have that ‘voice’ in your head that says to go here and do that or to avoid this and not go there?
That’s your intuition speaking to you.
Taking some time first and foremost to notice what it’s like when your intuition speaks to you specifically is key here.
How does your intuition speak? What does it feel like for you?
I would like to encourage you to take a week with just this witnessing work.
I would like to encourage you to spend some time really getting into what your intuition FEELS like for you, how it shows up and where you notice it the most.
One thing that can really support this, is for you to tune into how you FEEL around certain people, places and things. To tune into how your thoughts FEEL in your body. To tune into the repetitive ‘nudges’ you get and HOW they show up for you.
You can also watch THIS video for more on listening to your intuition
Your intuition is speaking to you, so take some time to become really cognizant of when that happens and how it happens.
Next, start to become really cognizant of the STORIES that come up when you have these intuitive hits.
- Where does your mind go?
- Where does your body clamp down and shut down?
- What are the fears that arise for you?
- Can you start to pay attention to the resistance?
- Can you write down the stories that come up around what would happen if you were to follow your guidance?
- Can you begin to observe these stories as possibly being just that - a series of stories - vs. being objective reality?
- Can you start to imagine that there is just a PART of you that is telling you these stories about what would happen if you were to follow your intuition, vs. seeing it as your WHOLE self that is seeing reality clearly?
- Can you start to open up to the idea that those thoughts may actually be FEAR holding you back and keeping you locked into your conditioning, vs. being objective truths and observations of reality exactly as it is?
- Can you start to entertain the idea that those stories may not be true in real reality?
- What happens when you allow yourself some space to simply ponder that these ideas in your mind right now may not be the full truth of reality?
- What happens in your body when you consider that these stories may not be the full truth in real reality?
Give yourself at least a week or two to notice when your intuition is speaking to you, and to notice your REACTION to that intuition. To notice how you respond. To notice the stories that come up.
Notice how those stories feel in your body - light and freeing of heavy and contracting?
Notice the PATTERNS of thought that come up when you consider following your intuition and write those down.
Keep a record and again, see if you can create some SPACE around these stories as being just STORIES and not objective views of real reality.
What happens when you consider that these may be CHILDHOOD parts of you trying to keep you safe, vs. a true, adult part of you that is actually right about the threat it is perceiving?
What happens when you make ROOM to QUESTION these stories instead of assuming them to be true right off the bat with no further exploration?
Where did these fears COME FROM? What are you worried about and WHY?
Be open to this. Question. Observe. Make space.
This is the first phase.
Work on this, and we will come back next week to look at some specific thoughts, and how you can start to work THROUGH those fears that are holding you back from following your guidance, in order to find more freedom in your life and more trust in yourself.
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