If you’ve not done so already, I highly recommend that you read Part One of this post before you read this part.
In that last post we talked about the preliminary steps we likely are going to need to take to prepare us for the work we will do in this post.
We talked about where the impulse to ignore and deny our intuition really comes from - it’s a protective mechanism that we all developed on some level to keep us safe by keeping us living in alignment with our conditioning.
We talked about how we all have those fears that can FEEL incredibly powerful and intense that stop us from following our guidance, and we explored how we can begin the process of observing those stories and feelings rather than seeing them as being objective reality we MUST listen to and can’t ignore.
This week, we are going to dive deeper into some specific stories that may be coming up for you, so that you can see that a) you aren’t the only one thinking the things you’re thinking and b) so that you can begin to gather some tools to help you navigate questioning those stories which will eventually allow you to start to take action on your intuition even when that feels hard and scary.
We aren’t going to be able to sling-shot our way from living a life where we deny ourselves what feels right and true to us to one where we can freely follow what feels true in one fell swoop. There isn’t a step we can take or a practice we can do that will totally get rid of the fear or that will take us into a place of total trust.
Rather, we are going to slowly learn to challenge our fear-based stories, we’re going to take small steps towards following what we are feeling and we’re going to gather evidence over time that will prove to us that doing so is SAFE and actually works out - and THIS will create a positive feed-back loop that builds on itself over time.
So let’s dive into the most common stories that come up when we are feeling that resistance to following our guidance, and let’s see if we can unpack them together in a way that helps us feel more in control, more empowered and safer to follow our truth.
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Observing Our Thoughts And Stories Deeper
Again to review, I really want to invite you to consider that all of the stories that are telling you that following your guidance will lead to a disaster in your life are coming from a part of you that is conditioned to believe that fitting in is the best and only way to stay safe, and to get your needs met.
Those stories are not coming from an objective view of real reality and they aren’t in alignment with what will likely actually happen if you do follow your guidance.
Rather, those stories are coming from a part of you that experienced early in your life that in order to be safe, in order to have your needs met, in order to be cared for and in order to get the attention and love you craved, you needed to fit in with the culture you were born into - your family culture, your religious culture, your educational culture, your political culture and the social culture at large.
There is a part of you that likely deeply believes that if you were to go off the beaten path - which is likely what your intuition is telling you to do - that you will be rejected and in that rejection you will be unsafe.
So if we can START by seeing that THIS is what’s at the ROOT of our resistance to following our guidance, if we can start to see this in ourselves, we will have a better chance at being able to question the stories that are coming up for us vs. getting totally lost in them.
Because when we believe that the stories that are telling us that we CAN’T follow our guidance and be safe are simple, objective views of real reality - we’re going to be stuck. It’s going to be very challenging to push past the resistance if we are seeing these stories as pure fact.
We have to create that space of questioning and seeing that we aren’t the only ones thinking what we’re thinking, that these stories aren’t unique to us and that we CAN challenge these stories otherwise we will just keep living how we’re living and assuming that our fear-based stories are just THE TRUTH with a capital T.
So can you challenge yourself to see this voice as just a childhood voice trying to keep you in alignment with your conditioning? Can you open yourself to the idea that this is just a part of you trying to keep you safe by trying to keep you the SAME - the same as those around you and the same as you have always been?
THAT is where we need to start.
From here, let’s look at some specific stories that can and will come up and how we can begin creating some space around them.
I will be lazy/never do anything hard ever again: This is one of the most common and most painful stories that many of us tell ourselves when our intuition starts to speak.
We hear that voice in our heads saying:
‘If you don’t do this, you’ll never do anything.’
‘If you really listen any time you don’t want to do something, is that actually your intuition or are you just being lazy and not wanting to do hard things?’
‘Anyone would choose not to do this, of course I want to think it’s my ‘intuition’ when really it’s just me not wanting to do what I have to do.’
‘I have to do this, if I don’t I’m just letting myself off the hook and using my intuition as an excuse’.
‘If I listen every time I don’t want to do something, I’ll ruin my whole life because so there are SO many things I don’t want to do.’
‘If I never do what I don’t want to do I will never get anywhere in life because life requires us to do things we don’t want to do in order to get places.’
‘This is just my own voice, this isn’t my intuition, I am just being lazy and trying to get out of doing the things I know I have to do.’
Does any of that sound familiar?
There’s a good chance that any time your intuition comes up to tell you something is a NO for you, that there will be a STRONG voice that comes in on the other side to tell you that you are BAD for wanting to give yourself a break. That you will ruin your life and spiral into your most lazy, worthless, useless version of self if you were to ‘let yourself off the hook’ this way.
Again, there are certainly going to be times and places in life where we DO have to do things that we don’t want to do. Where we have to do things that are hard, that take us outside of our comfort zone, that challenge us and that bring up fear and resistance in us that we have to work through.
There are going to be times in life when our intuition comes up and the very reason we don’t want to do something is because it’s wrong for us - even if it seems on the surface to be something we ‘should’ do or something that society says is good or beneficial.
So how do we tell the difference between just not wanting to do something hard and our intuition telling us that something is a no?
First, we give ourselves FULL permission not to do the thing. As counter-intuitive as this may seem right off the at - there is a method to this.
When we give ourselves FULL permission not to go forward with whatever it is we are in resistance to - we actually give ourselves a feeling of safety and relief that will help us come back into our bodies and out of our logical, problem solving, conditioned minds for a moment.
From here, we practice getting into a state of loving ourselves fully, no matter what, even if we NEVER do the thing. This is challenging - but if you can bring yourself into a space of feeling like even if you didn’t ever accomplish what you are thinking of accomplishing or if you never achieved what you feel you need to achieve, that you could still be LOVED and SAFE - that is the state we want to get into. Can you allow yourself to feel fully LOVEABLE even if you NEVER do the thing? This is KEY.
From here, we then face the ‘what if’ stories that we need to face in terms of not doing the thing.
If we don’t do the thing, what are we afraid will happen? And then what? And then what? Can we actually face the fears we have in our minds about what will befall us if we DON’T push ourselves? Can we face those fears head on, instead of running from them? Do we even know what they are? Can we unpack them? See if you can follow the fear of not doing the thing all the way to the ultimate end - what are we afraid of and could we be ok with that outcome if push came to shove?
Then from this place of relaxation and compassion for ourselves, we may notice that we are able to shift out of that tight, rigid space that is telling us that we have NO CHOICE but to do this hard thing we don’t want to do, into a softer, more compassionate and more importantly more OPEN place.
From here, we can then tune into our BODIES and really check in.
When we think about NOT doing what we don’t want to do - what happens on a PHYSICAL level? Is there a sense of lightning or contraction? Is there a feeling of freedom, or does it bring with it a weight?
When you let yourself off the hook, when you make it ok NOT to do something - that is when you’re going to be able to move PAST the shame, blame and guilt stories that are telling you that you ‘have’ to do this or that in order to be good enough, in order that others will like you, in order that you stay in alignment with your conditioning - and you will be able to feel into actual CONSEQUENCES and the literal state you’re in. When it’s no longer about earning love, and when we’ve looked at the fears - THEN we can truly assess if what is coming up is our intuition or if it’s a true thought that we need to do the thing.
We will know because if it’s really true that we need to do the thing, thinking of doing it will bring a sense of lightness, rightness and expansion - even if it’s hard. If it still feels really contracting, constricting and heavy to consider doing the thing after all this processing - you know that was your intuition speaking to you.
What happens for you when you follow the above steps? Where do you arrive?
Give yourself SPACE with this. It can be really challenging to actually bring yourself into a feeling state of being safe and loved even if you don’t do what you feel like you have to do. It can be incredibly challenging to face those fears of what we think will happen if we don’t do the thing. So take your time. Know that you may need to work your way through the steps many, many times before you’re really able to access your body sensations - and that’s ok. There’s no rush. This is a practice.
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Let’s pause here and digest this.
Next week we will come back for two more thoughts to process and unpack and a practice for starting to take steps even when we’re still scared and unsure about following our guidance.
<3
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