Resistance Is The Hardest Part – Are You Resisting The ‘Flow’

If you have been a part of any spiritual community, I am certain that the concept of 'resistance' has come into your awareness at some point.

Most likely the idea has been presented to you as something negative - when you are in 'resistance' on a spiritual level there is a general belief that you are blocking some sort of universal flow. You are interrupting a natural unfolding - trying to hold a wave upon the sand or trying to fight against the current.

How Resistance Manifests:

Resistance can take all sorts of different forms.

• When you feel a deep sense of dread or anxiety every morning as you head to your job.
• When you feel totally drained after spending time with a certain group of people, like you are misunderstood, having to constantly pretend to be someone that you are not.
• When you live feeling addicted to food, drink or another substance that serve as harmful forms of pleasure.
• When you struggle to feel happy or joyful.
• When you are continually wishing your days, weeks and months away. When you are constantly living for a time and place somewhere off in the future when you will be happy - like on vacation - but when the vacation actually comes you are not able to really enjoy it or relax into it.
• When life is hard, does not feel good or feels like an uphill battle all the time.
• These are not ‘normal’ ways of being – the way life is as many of us tend to believe. This is a sign that you are pushing against your true self – your true feelings and your truest life.

On a spiritual, mental, emotional and physical level, being in resistance is generally one of the most uncomfortable places to be.

So why in the heck do we get into resistance in the first place? How do you get out?

First off, many of us have been in resistance for so long that we have come to expect life to feel hard. We have simply lost the inclination that feeling anxiety, fear, and dread, depression, sadness or pain on a constant basis is something to be questioned.

There is almost a cultural expectation now that life will be - and even should be - hard. That nothing good comes without struggle and that it is a sign of strength and character to grit your teeth and bare the shit in your life.

We have come to know resistance as a normal way of life.

The other reason we enter a state of resistance and stay there even though it feels so awful is because we are carrying around an underlying belief that any change from the status quo is somehow going to be worse than what we are experiencing now.

Somewhere inside of you, you do not trust that the flow of life is taking you in a happy, positive direction. Instead you believe that if things were to change (which they are always going to do) that this change would cause you more pain than your current situation, no matter how painful your current situation is.

Even if what you are experiencing currently sucks, there is a consolation prize of being able to predict what is going to come next. You know how to act, how to think, how to live in this reality and any new reality would mean finding a new way of being. That unfamiliarity, when you already feel fear on a regular basis, can be paralize.

Basically, we get into resistance and set up camp there due to the fact that we are conditioned to accept resistance as a viable way of life, and because we are trapped in fear.

So How Do You Move Past Resistance?

In my opinion, the very first step to moving out of resistance is to start getting used to the idea that life CAN feel good.

That life can be fun and filled with more ease than struggle.

That it can feel more like a dance than an uphill climb.

Allow yourself to consider this premise - even if it is just for a moment and even if doing so is painful.

When you are in the throws of living in resistance contemplating the idea that life could feel nice may actually cause considerable pain in your heart. Make room for that. The longing and desire and fear to hope for that kind of life is a part of the process.

If it really hurts to consider the idea that life does not need to be a struggle, be gentle with yourself. Don't force it. Don't try to get to a place where you are fully accepting that life can be fun today.

The Walls That Hold Up Resistance

If the idea that life can and should be fun is offensive to you – if it brings up feelings of being repulsed or like I am slapping you in the face – that is OK too. If you have been living in resistance for a while, you have most likely built up some walls around getting happy or feeling good. You have done this in order to make living in resistance feel like it is meaningful and purposeful. In order to sustain the struggle you must create some meaning around it. You must believe that it is important and doing something for you.

You may feel that letting go of the struggle and the fight is a terrible idea because it would mean you are admitting the fight you have fought up until now was for no good reason. That you just forced yourself to suffer. You may feel that in order to justify the struggle, you must keep struggling.

If this is how you feel, be gentle with you. There is no race. You do not have to accept what I am saying, nor do you have to change your mindset overnight. All I suggest and invite you to do is open yourself to the possibility that letting go of the struggle does not negate what you have been through, nor does it mean that you have to radically alter your life today.

How To Start Moving Out Of Resistance:

The first step is simply to acknowledge what is really going on. That you are in resistance and that your potential for happiness, joy, passion and living a life you love is awaiting you on the other side of resistance.

The second step is to allow yourself to feel exactly what you feel when you consider this possibility.

Your first practice in letting go of resistance and stepping into flow is not resisting what you feel about resistance!

That's it. That is all. You do not have to go any farther than this right now. Just feel what you feel.

Its All About Your Feelings:

Now, you may have noticed the theme running through this article - your feelings.

It is your feelings that let you know when you are in resistance, your feelings that will show you what it is you believe about life that got you into resistance in the first place, and your feelings that will lead you out of resistance back into flow.

One fundamental thing to understand is that flow is your natural state. It is actually requiring far more effort on your part to stay in resistance than it will require for you to be in flow. The cliché here is very true - the moment you stop fighting (being in resistance) you float (enter into flow) - it is the law. You just need to undo some thinking and behaviour patterns so that you make room for yourself to move back into your natural state

What Is Flow Exactly?

If resistance means that you are living a life that is hard, filled with negative emotions, challenges and struggle, then a life in flow must naturally be very much the opposite.

• A life in flow feels natural.
• There is a sense of ease overarching your life.
• When you are really connected to your inner guidance and intuition (what steers a life of flow) life becomes a series of events that you 'feel' your way through, following your pleasant feelings and moving away from things that make you feel less than optimal.
• You live a life connected with your heart, following the joyful feelings.
• A life in flow tends to feel very 'magical' - you become one of those people that things just tend to work out for.
• You stop struggling to find your path or meaning so much and you start to relax and see yourself as valuable, special and worthy of great and wonderful things.
• You also stop feeling like there is doom around every corner and more like there is adventure and surprise awaiting you on the horizon.
• You will notice that life supports you.

Living in flow does not mean you are living without your brain. In fact your brain is an essential part of your flow based life because you will still need it to coordinate your hearts desires with actual physical action. It is not a releasing of your mental capacities to live in flow, but rather removing your mind from the seat of authority, and allowing your heart to lead and your mind to follow. We are very intelligent beings and are amazing masters at 'thinking' our way out of following our intuition.

Living in flow is also not a life where absolutely nothing negative or difficult ever happens to you again. There will still be moments or times where you are learning and growing and this may feel uncomfortable - however the more you release and relax into it, the easier these periods become - and the faster they resolve themselves.

Living in flow is simply shifting your perception from one that believes that life is hard and a struggle to one where you believe that life is for you. That what happens to you is for your good.

You are only in resistance because you believe that where life is trying to take you is not going to be in your best interest. You are pushing back against what would be easy or more fun because you have an idea that going with it would be worse for you than what you are currently doing.

I invite you to sit with this concept for the weekend. Mull it over. See what comes up as you allow yourself to consider, to feel, to ponder.

In the next post, I am going to give you more concrete tools you can use to help you move past resistance into flow. For now, let yourself process.

All my love.

<3