Let's have a little chat about the law of attraction, shall we?
We Are Still Seeing This Law As Something It Is Not:
The Law Of Attraction is a popular concept now a days, that is very poorly understood.
In truth, the law of attraction is simply stating that what you are in this moment, where you are ripe to learn, grow and expand, will be reflected back to you. This reflection is there to provide you with the perspective to expand in places you did not know you had taken on false beliefs or density.
That the reality that you live in, the things that you are attracted to, the situations you find yourself in and your perception of those situations are all telling you something about yourself, your perspectives, your beliefs and your projections of what reality is.
Remember; we all take on false beliefs in this life, that cut us off from truth. That cut us off from love. That is what the Law Of Attraction is there to lead you to - the places you have forgotten love, so you can remember love.
It has been popularly taught that whatever you think about consciously, whatever you focus on in your life will grow, and that those things that you decide to stop looking at, stop focusing on, stop sending mental energy towards will wither and die. With this, the Law Of Attraction that is being taught today tells us that so long as we keep our minds focused on what we want to cultivate in our lives, and stave off any thoughts of 'negativity' that we do not want to experience, that eventually we will have a life of only positive experiences, and no negative ones. That we will be able to secure 100% pleasure for ourselves, while eliminating 100% of the suffering of life, simply by thinking.
Of course they let you know that deliberate action is required with this thinking – that you focus as a way of directing your actions to create this new reality.
That is all well and good. The problem here is, there is a LOT more to us than our conscious thought.
There is a lot more that goes into the mix of your ‘point of attraction’ than what you are consciously aware you are thinking about.
What Truly Makes Up Your Point Of Attraction:
You see, we all have foundational beliefs about ourselves, our world and the universe at large that we are fundamentally unaware of. We all have wounding and traumas that have caused us to view things in a way that is out of alignment with true reality as it stands on its own. We have all taken on filters – thing we believe we do and do not deserve, upper limits on how good we are allowed to feel, assumptions about how our circumstances are dictating how we are allowed to feel, what is and is not appropriate in relationships, things we believe are pleasurable, things we believe are painful, things we believe are good, things we believe are bad – and most of these things are totally unconscious for us.
They are unconscious, but a MASSIVE part of our point of attraction. These underlying belief systems actually play a much larger role in what we attract into our lives – what we are attracted TO, what we allow ourselves to experience, what is at play in our reality most – than our conscious though does. Because these unconscious aspects of ourselves are generally a much larger part of who we are than the conscious thought parts are.
This is where the beauty of the Law Of Attraction COULD be working on our behalf.
If we were to understand that the Law Of Attraction is always reflecting back to us what we ARE in THIS MOMENT– what we believe, and what we need in order to grow our perceptions and perspectives – then we would use it for our growth. We would simply allow ourselves to fully observe EVERYTHING that is in our reality – especially those things that are consistently unpleasant for us – because we would realize that it is those very uncomfortable things that keep showing up over and over again that are POINTING us to those unconscious aspects of self that need love and healing - that need to be brought into the light of consciousness.
We are not ‘attracting bad’ things into our lives because we have bad thoughts. If this were truly how it worked, no baby would ever get sick, and pretty much everyone would have gone down in a plane crash by now. We are pointing ourselves in the direction of where our wounded views of ourselves and reality are, so that we can integrate those areas.
Why We Run From Our Wounds:
When we are wounded, almost all of us are going to work to cover up these wounds. We are going to compensate. We are going to make up stories about ourselves and our reality that are limiting and painful, as a way of trying to avoid experiencing traumatic experiences over again. This is simple human nature. Unfortunately, in so doing, we create a situation for ourselves where we set ourselves up to experience more and more trauma, because it is from this wounded place that we start to make unconscious choices and create a situation for ourselves where we are only attracted to more of the same emotional experience over and over. These traumas become an unconscious part of our blueprint of who we are, and thus we are attracted to more and more experiences like that – as a way of trying to show us where the integration needs to happen.
We must understand that our pain and our pleasure are not circumstance based. This is the fundamental misunderstanding of the human consciousness at this time on Earth. We are not sad because our parents rejected us – we are sad because WE rejected us, based on believing that if those outside of us did not love us that we were fundamentally unworthy of love.
We are not depressed because we do not have a million dollars. We are not unsatisfied because we don’t have the right job or the right car or the right relationship. None of this, in truth, is why we feel how we feel. These are all simply things we project our feelings onto, as a way of trying to create a sense of control over our negative emotional states.
We must understand that it is easier to tell ourselves that we will be happy when we have the *fill in the blank* than it is to say I am going to learn WHY I need these things in my life to be happy. It is easier to say the circumstance is bad so I am just going to check out and stop looking at it, than it is to say, I can be in any and all circumstances and find the joy, find the information, grow from everything that is reflected back to me, and learn to love myself in all situations.
Bottom line – The Law Of Attraction is showing you where you have limits in your own capacity to love yourself.
Every time you experience something as 'negative', you are showing you where you have a gap in your ability to be with what is, and not make it mean something bad about you.
That is why we suffer.
We suffer because we make our experiences mean that we are losing love.
We want the things, because we think the things will give us permission to love ourselves – that when we have them we will finally be deserving of the love we so deeply want. When we suffer, it is because we are saying – in this circumstance, I am NOT allowed to feel loved.
Reflect on this for yourself – why do you want what you want? Why do you suffer when you do? Why do you feel that some things MUST feel bad? Why do you need your reality to be a specific way before you can say it is positive? What do you REALLY want? Why do you need to turn away from certain aspects of your reality? Has that actually helped you not re-create the same situation over and over?
Ignored Wounds Never Heal
But instead of viewing the Law Of Attraction in this way, most have interpreted it as a kind of magical wand that will help you ‘create’ a reality that is 100% positive all the time by simply ignoring anything you don’t want to look at.
The truth is, an ignored wound does not simply go away. It festers and becomes infected and grows worse and worse.
Those wounded aspects of yourself are not going to be starved out by you not focusing on them. In fact, the opposite is true. The longer you deny these painful aspects of your reality, the more blatant and blaring they are going to become in your reality. You are only going to attract MORE and MORE of these experiences, they will get louder and bigger and grander as time goes on – in an attempt to get your attention so you can integrate the wound. You may have found this – no matter how positively focused you are on the things you want, you seem to continue to manifest situations that are far from ideal – and there is most likely a pattern for you in your area of deepest trauma, where you are essentially living out the exact same experience over and over again, to heightened degrees each time you do it and do not really look under the hood to see WHY you are manifesting said experience.
Nothing goes away until we learn from it what it is there to show us.
So you can think as positively as you like, but if you have a foundational belief about yourself that is out of alignment with the truth, you will manifest situation that reflect that back to you over and over again until you look and integrate. It can be no other way.
Because of the Law Of Attraction.
You attract what you ARE as a WHOLE – and your conscious thought is, for most of us, only a small fraction of that whole.
The Law Of Attraction is there to reflect these unconscious aspects back to you, so that you can become more self aware.
Taking Everything Into Account:
Which is why you must take EVERYTHING that is in your life into account. You must respect that what is arising for you, is you, right now. That you cannot ignore any aspect of your reality and hope it will go away. The parts that hurt the most need the most attention, because they are showing you where your wounds are, and they will lead you to integration of those wounds.
When you allow your life to show you where the wounds are, you then get to approach yourself in a new way. You get to show up for yourself and say – 'ok, this what I am seeing is a reflection of me in this moment. So where am I cutting myself off from love? Where am I telling myself that my truth in this moment is not allowed to be expressed? What areas of myself are hurting, and thus bringing me to these situations that feel painful over and over again? How can I be more compassionate with myself? More gentle? More honest?'
If all you see is a reflection of you, then you get to choose, in each moment to choose more love, more curiosity, more exploration, more becoming neutral towards the moment, or more fear, more running and more projection.
It is not the circumstance that is making you feel how you feel. It is the circumstance that is reflecting back to you how you feel.
The moment is not what is wrong. It is the cutting off of love from yourself that hurts.
How To Use The Law To Your Advantage:
So it is not about avoiding pain to procure pleasure. It is about realizing that ALL experiences are necessary in this life journey, and it is simply your willingness to lean in, or your desperate attempt to escape that determines whether you will be happy or suffering.
Let us not take this concept of Law Of Attraction, and use it as another tool to try to bypass life, with the false understanding that things can go wrong.
It is all here to serve you. There is nothing negative. Nothing to avoid. Everything to learn and grow and expand from.
When you soften to this, then you will develop a maturity where you realize you do not need to attract pleasurable experiences or avoid painful ones to be happy. You will develop the capacity to be with ALL of life, to learn from a wide verity of experiences, and still have that underlying joy that comes from a solid foundation in self-awareness and self-love. You will realize that all of life is benevolent, and that there are no good or bad experiences. That everything is simply a learning and growing tool, that can be experiences through the lens of love – in which case no suffering occurs – or through the lens of fear – in which case we suffer greatly.
You will grow in yourself from the child-like notion that you need your world to be a particular way in order to feel joy, and you will come to the place of peace of knowing you can be in joy, in alignment with yourself, in a state of receptivity all of the time no matter what.
You are not 100% in control of your circumstances. You are 100% in control of what you make those circumstances mean.
That is what The Law Of Attraction is showing you. Where you make life mean love goes away, and where you make life mean love exists.
You will graduate from The Law Of Attraction to much deeper levels of consciousness, when you are able to be in a state of allowing love in all circumstances. Until then, you will be chasing pleasure and running from pain, and life will seem like a confusing mess.
To Sum Up:
We must understand that the law of attraction is a MIRROR for us. Not something to be manipulated and controlled. It is a mirror, reflecting back to us what we deeply believe about ourselves and reality.
Look at everything as an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Those things that don’t feel good – go into them. Let them teach you where your lens is stained, let them show you where you are blocking the love that is always available to you.
Then by all means, focus on those things you know bring you joy. Understanding that all that focus is doing, is reminding you of that love feeling. It is not the things or the circumstances or the lack of things or lack of circumstances that allow you to feel love at all times – but sometimes we need the visual to get ourselves into that loving state.
Observe. Get curious. Love the parts. Feel that love. Enjoy your experiences. Repeat.
It is as easy as that.