If you seek God, do not attempt to destroy yourself - as this demonstrates the fundamental misunderstanding that keeps most spiritual seekers within pinkies distance of awakening.
To know God, to know reality, to experience a taste of all that is - is to have an experience.
It is a deeply FELT state of being. It is.
We have been told this by the seers, sages, mystics and masters for all of time, that to know God, to merge with 'it' is possible, and that this merging is KNOWN deep in the being.
Most of us can get on board with that.
We also assume that this union with the Divine is meant to be a state of bliss. A state of perfect love. A state of complete surrender. This is also true.
So it follows that while we are here in this human experience, we get the idea that the mind, the body and the personality are blocking us from God.
We get this idea because it is through the mind, through the body and through the personality that we have the experience of pain. We assume that pain is not God, and thus we must eradicate pain and suffering from our experience.
So we look for the source of this suffering to snuff out.
We suffer due to the racing mind that makes up scary stories about ourselves and our world.
We suffer due to the aging, decay and dis-ease of the physical body. We suffer through others physical attacks. The body is a great way for pain to enter.
We suffer due to the impermanent, fluctuating, oft rejected personality.
So in our quest to know the bliss of God, we mistakenly believe that we must somehow emancipate ourselves of the mind, the ego, the body.
No mind, no ego, no body = no pain = God.
We start on a path - taught by most spiritual 'masters' - that teaches us to transcend the mind. To let go of the ego - to let it die. To free ourselves from the demands of the physical vehicle.
Over and over, in this pursuit, all one finds is more pain. More suffering. More confusion. A deeper sense of God being far, being untouchable, being just behind the door with the key you do not posses.
We must evolve our understanding.
You see, it is not the mind that blocks you from God union. The mind is there as a vehicle to this place, and as a translator of the experience. Without the mind, you would have no way of perceiving any experience at all.
The physical body is not blocking you from Divine union. The body is what allows for the feelings and sensations that denote this unity experience. For without the body, you would have no senses to tell you what it FEELS like to be in this state of awareness.
The Ego is not your impediment either. The Ego knows itself so that it can know the all. For without the sense of 'You' there could be no 'God' to merge with. Without the perceived boundary, the experience of being united would be impossible.
Truly, it is only when we attempt to liberate ourselves from the very mechanisms that will give rise to the experience of knowing God, that we find ourselves ever seeking.
It is only when we misunderstand pain and painful experiences as NOT a part of God, that we create any moment where awareness of union with all that is, is unavailable.
The reality is - you need to seek for nothing to be one with God. It is. You are. You are God, and you are communing with God in all moments. The body IS God. The mind IS God. The Ego is God. The pain is God too. Fractals of it.
In order to have recognition of the ultimate - the ALL that is - you must have communion with the relative - the fractals of God that play as 'you.'
Without one, there is no other.
To attempt to destroy one, is to attempt to destroy the other.
To try to get rid of yourself or pain, is to try to deny a part of all that is - and in that you will never feel it. You will never know it - because you are denying the essential part of it that will give YOU that experience. You are believing in the separation between yourself and 'it' when you believe something about you must be destroyed to connect with 'it' - and it is ONLY your belief in separation that is giving rise to your experience of separation.
Union is not a belief. It is a reality. You are one with God. It is. You experience it through relaxing and releasing the belief systems that tell you otherwise.
Can you now see how trying to get rid of you, is exactly paradoxical to your desired end?
Being that all is God, and being that you desire to experience this KNOWING - you are in need of all of the fractals. The all can only know itself through seeing all its separate parts. You have the relative pieces necessary to experience the ultimate truth.
God realization is a merging of all the sensational methods of perception with the unfolding of reality. Not a denial of any of them.
You want to know God, you need all its parts.
Your mind, ego, body and the pain are some of them.
You will experience truth THROUGH the gifts of your facilities. You have all you need. You are already there.
All that need happen is a relaxation of the idea that it isn't already so.
Then observe how fast the mind/body/ego complex shows you.