Hello again my friend, welcome back!
Today we are going to wrap up our series on how to fully take responsibility for your life. If you have not already, go and read Part One and Part Two before moving on to this post.
Now we are ready for steps three-five!
Third Step: Start To Look For How The Events Of Your Life Transpired In Order To Blessed You.
This is the step where you start to take on a new mantra in your life.
This is where you start to deliberately look for the silver lining in your past experiences, so as to make them less emotionally triggering for you in the present.
This is where you start to look for how what you thought was a disaster, actually served to make your life richer in the present moment. This is the beginning of really taking your power back.
In this step, take those situations that you were wishing could have gone differently in the previous step, and ask yourself – “how did what I went through shape me? Change me? Build me up? Show me something I did not see before? Break old bonds that I didn't know were binding me?”
Look back on all the moments you thought your life was falling apart, and start to track the evidence for how those circumstances actually led you to something better. Something richer. Something that offered you new understanding about yourself and the world.
Remember all the times life ripped the foundations out from under you, only to replace it with a shiny new one that were SO much better than what you had before.
Look at how you have developed as a soul, how your experiences have opened your eyes.
Look to see how every moment of your experience so far was an event where life wanted to show you a piece of your power that you had forgotten about.
Consider that the reason all your experiences of disempowerment felt so terrible, was because your emotional guidance system was letting you know that to believe you had no power is incorrect.
Take a step back and carefully look for the blessing that has come from each of the circumstances you felt that you were being victimized in. Remember that awareness of a situation you never want to allow yourself to be in again is a blessing!
Could it be that in those terrible moments you were being shown, through the contrast of disempowerment, how to step more fully into your power?
Could it be that every time you gave your power away and it felt horrible, it was your guidance system saying 'my child, take it back. It is yours."?
Is it possible that those situations where you felt so victimized, were teaching you how to stop victimizing YOURSELF?
Could it be that the residual pain left over from those situations is here to teach you how to finally be soft, gentle and compassionate with yourself, rather than expecting yourself to feel differently than you do?
Could it be that those situations where you felt taken advantage of are leading you to fully embrace yourself in whatever you are feeling in this moment?
Is it possible that the reason those past experiences hurt so much today, because you are treating yourself with the same kind of attitude as the one who you perceive to have abused you before?
Could all those negative emotions be a current opportunity for you to embrace and love yourself in WHATEVER you are feeling, right here right now? So that you have the ability to truly and deeply experience your own love and your own acceptance in a way that you never would have had you not suffered what you did?
Really look to see how everything has always been working in your favour. If you cannot, go back to step one and simply acknowledge what you are feeling. Take as much time as you need.
How did your past bless you? How did every situation in your life serve to make you stronger, more compassionate, and more self-aware?
If you have not integrated the lessons from your past situations, take the time to ponder what the positive outcome of each of your circumstances could be, if you chose to empower yourself with your memories, rather than telling yourself that your past has made things worse for you. What did your past require of you to get through? How did it develop new muscles for you to be a stronger, more capable person now?
Look for this in every regretful situation until you can clearly see what life was trying to tell you. If you still feel that you were being cursed or punished, keep searching. You will know you hit on it when there is an emotional release, when you feel that you were given an opportunity, rather than robbed of something. Again, go back to allowing yourself to truly feel and own what you feel as much as you need to until you get enough space inside yourself to look for the blessing. If it still stings, express more.
Step Four: Start To Practice Looking For How Life Is Blessing You NOW.
Now that you have reconciled what has happened to you so far in life, and can see the blessing in each of the circumstances you previously thought took your power away, you can start to apply this technique of looking for blessings (or how this situation is EMPOWERING not DISEMPOWERING you) to your present moment.
You can do this while you are standing in line at the DMV. How is this situation that may seem really annoying, and like you have no power or control, blessing you? What is there it learn? How can you look at this situation with fresh eyes, so that it becomes something that teaches you more about your strength, rather than your assumed lack of power here?
When someone says something mean about you. How can you use that situation to empower yourself to think even more loving thoughts about yourself? When someone treats you badly, could it possibly be an opportunity for you to dig deeper within to find love for yourself? Perhaps this could be an opportunity for you to then extend that love and see beyond the attack of this other person, into the fear that is most likely brewing in their hearts? Or maybe this moment is challenging you to stand up for yourself, and to stop taking abuse.
When you feel stuck at a job you hate, or in a relationship you don’t like. Could it be that this situation is teaching you how to stand up for yourself and say ‘no’ even when it looks risky or unpredictable? Could it be a call for you to take your own life in your hands, and to make empowered choices based on what feels right for YOU rather than what looks good on paper? Can you risk disappointing people? Can you risk feeling like you are going to do what you need to do, what feels right in your heart, even if it may upset those around you? Can you learn to be OK with you, even when other’s are not?
When you feel deep emotional pain. Could it be that you are learning to love yourself unconditionally? Could it be an opportunity for you to deeply peer into your own wounds, and rather than choosing to reject or reprimand or try to ‘fix’ yourself, you instead choose to see yourself as love and light, and ask yourself where the wound is? How can you love you more right now, rather than less? How can you bring more love to this area of your being that is clearly just in pain, rather than taking more love away?
If “How is this blessing me?” doesn’t work for you, you can also use:
- “How is this reminding me of my power through the contrast of feeling like I am losing my power?”
- “How is this situation showing me a place inside myself that needs love and compassion, where I usually show myself rejection and judgment?”
- “How is this situation bringing me closer to the awareness of my true, innocent nature?”
- “How is this situation teaching me how I want to be in the world, regardless of how others are behaving?”
Any of these questions will work to hand you your power back.
In this, life will slowly but surly stop being a place where you are victimized, and start being a place where you are continually shown something new and powerful about yourself. Where you are offered deeper and deeper chances to love the parts of you that you have rejected and neglected. This is going to do all the healing work for you that you have ever thought you needed to do.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it out! Slow down, especially when you are agitated or feeling restless in your body, check in, and ask some of the questions above. It really does work 😉
Step Five: Compassion Again. But This Time For The Whole World And The Whole Process.
In this last step, you are setting new habits. You are shifting your mindsets and literally re-wiring your brain and how you view the world and yourself.
This.Takes.Time.
Please understand that this world is set up for you to stay in a state of feeling like a victim.
Which means as you come into your power, as you own and take responsibility for your life, you will be rebelling from essentially every system that is set up in the world today. And not just the physical things you can see with your eyes. More than that you are stepping out of the mental and emotional systems that keep everyone feeling powerless and unsafe in their lives.
I genuinely believe that this is a task that at some point, all of us are going to have to take on.
In this or an alternate lifetime, everyone will come to the realization that they are not victim to circumstance or to anyone outside of themselves. In this, in this taking back of our individual power, we will see world peace.
When everyone is aware that they cannot be victimized, we will no longer have those who wish to victimize others. Without the dichotomy of those in power and those who are having their power taken, we will know balance. We will know true security. We will no longer feel the need to dominate others, or to be dominated so as not to have to take the blame for what goes on in our lives.
This is an evolution.
You are ready.
Take the steps, one at a time. Be nice to yourself, be easy on yourself
There is no rush, so honour your pace.
But know, each time you step into a new level of personal responsibility, you are stepping into a new level of your freedom that was always, and will always, be there.
<3
