Last week we talked all about pain, suffering, love and why light work may not be all ‘love and light’ as we are taught to believe it ‘should’ be.
Today we are going to cover how our societal habit of covering up wounds is causing the experience of you feeling like you cause others pain as a light-worker, why this is not what is really going on, and how you can make peace with what you are here to do so you can go out and do it without questioning and doubting yourself so much.
Why It Hurts To Embrace The Light:
Now you may be wondering, if this love and light is bringing power, circulation, growth and expansion back to our wounded aspects, why does it hurt so bad sometimes? Why do people run from looking at their wounds and bringing love? Why do people feel and act like you are hurting them by bringing love to their wounded aspects?
Let’s go back to our body analogies for a moment to illustrate this point.
When you have been allowing a cut to fester, get infected, infect the blood and so on - it is not going to feel immediately better when you finally pull back your sleeve and get to work tending to it.
What actually happens is the cleaning of the wound will be painful. The stitching will be painful. Aiding the body in eliminating the infection will be uncomfortable. As the flesh heals it will be itchy, inflamed and irritated. The acknowledgment phase and the beginning phases of healing are actually pretty unpleasant if we are being honest with ourselves - especially if we are used to being able to numb out and feeling things is a new experience for us. On top of that, there will be the actual incident that caused the cut in the first place that will have to be looked at, integrated, learned from and made peace with - lest we create for ourselves a trauma that develops into a fear that will then hold us back in life.
Same with when a limb is cut off from circulation. If you have ever fallen asleep on your arm, you know that when the blood first starts to flow back after you release it from under your body it causes you quite a bit of pain and discomfort. There are pins and needles, tightness and aching that go along with restoring proper circulation.
In both cases, once the initial phases are over, you will start to feel better than you have ever felt.
With the cut healing, the infection gone, the body back in restoration mode and the circulation restored - not only will the pain you have been working to hide and suppress for so long be gone, you will all of a sudden have a whole new limb you can use in your life! You will not only have less pain and suffering, you will have a whole new appendage which will make your life so much easier than it was when you did not have access to the strength and utility of your arm.
When you emotionally/mentally/spiritually bring love back to rejected aspects of self through acceptance of reality, emotional expression, and finally processing what occurred to cause the pain in the first place, loving the one who was cut off from love, allowing this aspect to come back into the light and moving towards a more authentic expression of yourself through reconciliation with reality and your rejected aspects - you will start to feel better than you ever felt before. You will no longer need to numb out with substances or distractions. You will no longer need to run from yourself or reality. You will discover hidden parts of yourself you never knew existed that will help you in your life - deeper aspects of the self that know how to care for you, aspects of the self that contain your intuition, aspects of self that contain your giftings and so on.
Not only that, you will become more and more comfortable with feeling, with allowing for all emotional states, with allowing for all experiences and will have far less resistance to life over all.
The healing feels better - EVENTUALLY - but not right away. This is no quick fix/low hanging fruit type of thing. This is digging into the nitty gritty FIRST, feeling the positive effects LATER.
As you can probably guess, in our quick fix, things are supposed to feel good all the time, pain is wrong and bad, avoid pain at all costs, there are a million and a half other things I could do to deny and repress this pain world - the idea of feeling bad for LONGER before you get to feel good is not going to be so popular.
But the deepest truth is that most people have NO IDEA where their pain is actually coming from. You see, most people are not aware that the pain they are in is old pain that is being reflected back to them over and over again - but instead believe that whatever they are doing to numb and drown out their pain is ‘working’ and that they are simply faced with new circumstances that bring new pain over and over again. Most believe that their pain is superficial, circumstantial and can be cleared if they could just get their act together.
THIS is the main reason why a light worker would get blamed for causing people pain.
Roots Are Invisible To Those Who Are Not Looking:
Most people do NOT understand that the pain they are in is constant and rooted in the past. People really and truly believe that the suffering they experience in their lives is new and different every time. Even if it should be totally obvious that the pain is cyclical and thus has deeper roots than circumstances, people have created ways of not seeing these patterns - for a reason. They are isolating their experience and not seeing the overarching themes. Most are not seeing that the binge eating, the choosing relationships that do not serve them, that the choosing jobs that are always horrible - is a pattern they picked up as a way of denying a part of themselves. They are not seeing that it has a root, and that root is expressing over and over again. Most are believing in a quick fix because they are denying the depths of what is really going on within them.
And of course they are! Why wouldn’t they? They live in a world that has them so distracted, where it is so easy to tune out and check out and not notice what is going on on deeper levels of life that to really see your own inner patterns and the roots of these patterns takes great effort. It takes great amounts of work and dedication. It takes focus and consistent effort to show up for yourself and question what you are doing.
Frankly, it takes the one thing none of us are willing to give - time alone, in an undistracted place where you can connect with your pain and investigate it rather than run from it.
It takes admitting that the quick fix of figuring out how to eat better, finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, or finally getting that awesome job that will solve all their misery isn’t going to work. It takes admitting that the pain and suffering is not coming from the external world, and no matter how much they go about blaming it, trying to fix it, trying to run from it, trying to change it - that pain will still be there. It takes opening up to the idea that the pain is deeper than what is happening right now, and will take more work to solve than just losing 20 pounds or getting a higher paying job.
It takes the willingness to let go of the superficial, quick fix solutions that feel good for 5 minutes, it takes being willing to slowly release the numbing or coping behaviors, it takes allowing for the idea that there is exploration that needs to take place and admitting that there are parts of reality we don’t want to exist that do exist - to really integrate.
So when you point something out, when you shed light on a pattern of pain, when you suggest that a pattern of pain may be caused by something deeper than not having the discipline to put down the bag of cookies or walk away from the relationship - this is going to cause major panic. There is going to be a moment where the delusion of the quick fix and the isolated painful incident is lost. There is going to be a moment where the victim mentality doesn’t work and needing to take responsibility for oneself is seen as the only option. There is going to be that moment where the path of owning and loving yourself even though everyone else rejected you becomes the only clear way through. There is going to be a moment where the house of cards that has been built up falls.
That is scary.as.fuck.
Meaning when you shed light on a wounded aspect of someone, when you do not play along with their delusions about what is going to make things better, when you don’t play along with the drama, when you don’t play along with a victim story, when you walk as someone who took YOUR power back and owned your own life - you ruin the hope that most people are banking on. You smash the fantasy of quick healing and feeling better right away. You destroy the foundations of abdication, believing in an external savior or better circumstances as the light of hope. You tear down the false reality simply by not existing within it yourself, and by shedding light on the truth of the pain. You help them connect with the wounded/rejected aspect of self, that is sitting there waiting to be loved, embraced and expressed.
This is true healing. Integration of rejected and wounded aspects.
You understand that their pain holds their truth. That their pain is the aspect of themselves that wants to grow and express, that contradicts the culture that is telling them they cannot be the way they are. That the pain is the point where social conditioning stifled who they really are. You get that THEY are the keepers of this true wisdom - that healing only happens through integration, and only they are capable of loving this rejected aspect and then expressing it. You get that the pain they are feeling is what is showing them this truth.
You know that the pain is there to say ‘hey, I am not going anywhere, and I am going to continue to hurt you until you do the thing you fear the most - love, accept and express me even though everyone around you is telling you and has told you that they won’t love you if you do. You have to love me even if others don’t, AND you have to BE ME even when others don’t.
That is the fear they are facing. That is the pain they are coming up against. That is the wisdom that is hurting them - not you. You just helped them to shine the light ON the pain, that contains the truth that they are too afraid to see and accept in this moment.
They don’t know this. All they see is you, pointing something out that hurts, and thus being the cause of their pain.
THIS is why they feel bad around you. Because you helped connect them to their own pain, and thus their own TRUTH.
Now you see the whole picture. You get why you seemingly cause pain, and why this is not really the case at all.
Next week we will go into an exploration of one last conundrum of being a light worker that few understand, that has most likely happened to you a MILLION times. I want to explore this in detail as I feel it will give you some really good context for how to move forward feeling better as a light worker.
For now. Be in this!