Hello!
If you haven’t done so already, please do go back and read:
In this series
Today we are going to wrap things up by looking at how we can actively start to shift our internal value systems so that we can start to shift how we interact with the world around us.
We are going to explore why shifting what we value is hard, but at the end of the day why the effort is SO deeply worth our time and investment.
We are going to explore all the ways we can start to be a part of the change we want to see here on the planet and how being a part of that change can have a massive ripple effect if we let it.
So let’s dive in and see how we go!
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Looking At Burnout For What It REALLY Is
With everything we explored in the last two articles we can see that it’s not any wonder at all that many of us are living lives of constantly feeling like we aren’t going to be safe, like we aren’t doing enough, like we aren’t enough and like we don’t have enough.
We live in a world that has become and continues to become increasingly isolating - where we are socialized in a way where showing our true emotions, showing our true personalities, connecting in a really heart centered way with others is becoming more and more rare because we are taught that showing these things is a weakness.
This leaves us even MORE vulnerable to the idea that if we could just consume and produce more, if we could just elevate our social status enough, that if we could just make ourselves ‘like the wealthy and successful’ that this will in turn offer us a chance at the connections we are craving - because we will finally be worthy of those connections.
We believe every pain we suffer can be fixed by fixing ourselves and thus we never look at the systems and how THEY may be the root our pain, and we are then continually sold MORE things to keep us trapped in a cycle of navel-gazing and self fixing/shame and guilt rather than ever being able to look at society for how it is, what needs to change about it and how those changes would ACTUALLY be the solution we are looking for.
So long as we continue to believe everything is our fault, the system will continue to profit from the pain it is causing us by selling us MORE things that harm us and telling us that those things are the solution.
This is not to say that all self help or self improvement work is wrong or bad - it’s to say that again, where our personal responsibility IS the answer, that is where we want to apply those methods. Where systemic change is the answer, there is no amount of personal change that will fix the problem. Just like there’s no amount of hammering that can fix a crack that needs filling.
We again have been indoctrinated to believe that those who are wealthy, successful and have a lot in our culture are more worthy of love, safety, provision and respect and thus are more worthy of connection.
We have been taught to be in a constant state of competition with one another - fighting over resources, social status, jobs, positions of power and to see one another as obstacles in our way vs. seeing others are members of our community - members that can be people we actually work WITH and collaborate WITH in order to create more success for all of us.
We have been conditioned into a hyper individualistic world that tells us the more personal success, liberation, growth and status we acquire, the happier we will be - and that to go after this personal success at the expense of those around us IS the definition of BEING a successful person.
It’s all very painful, and it all leaves us feeling increasingly unsafe and insecure and then running to the system to try to fill the voids where community and support SHOULD be.
We again are trained to see those who work ‘low level jobs’ as disposable human beings that we must fight not to become.
This loneliness, this isolation, this mindset that our individual success is more important than our collective success is harming ALL of us - it’s creating a situation where we feel less and less safe in life and again, this insecurity leads us to looking to culture of the solution that will make us feel safe - and what does culture tell us is the thing that’s missing if we don’t feel safe and secure?
More consumption and production.
We are trained to believe that any time we feel insecure, not ok, unsafe, like we don’t have enough - that this could NEVER be due to the fact that the SYSTEM itself is out of whack, that our hyper individualism is killing us, that our over consumption and production is driving us to destroy ourselves and the planet we live on - that the answer is ALWAYS to ‘fix ourselves’ in some way so that we can consume more and produce more OR to fix ourselves BY consuming and producing more.
Get a better job.
Go back to school.
Start a side hustle.
Buy yourself something nice.
Go to therapy.
Start journaling your goals.
Get a new wardrobe.
Start that new diet/workout program.
Buy the new spirituality program that will teach you how to transcend your life.
Go on that retreat.
You see?
Nothing is ever enough.
You can never be enough, you can never have enough, you can never achieve enough - and the system makes sure that we always feel that way via continually moving the goalpost on what’s acceptable and what we have to do to make ends meet when we are in the lower sectors of the hierarchy and by systematically removing social safety nets and connections so that we are ever more isolated and alone - and then it sells us back more of the system as being the solution to the burnout, loneliness and insecurity the system intentionally breeds in order to keep us all participating it.
We are constantly being fed the idea that our pain is a result of US not being enough - so that we never think to challenge the idea that perhaps it’s the system itself that’s causing these feelings and these realities, and the SYSTEM that needs to be fixed in order for us to feel better.
This Is Where The Change Of Values Comes Into Play
THIS is why the self love path is the foundation for creating a new system.
You see, the self love path is all about helping us to reconsider what’s truly valuable.
The self love path is all about learning how to slow down enough to actually FEEL our emotions, and rather than going into shame, blame and guilt as the system would have us do when we notice that we are in pain - looking for what’s ‘wrong with us’ and thus what we need to do to fix OURSELVES so that we can fix our lives and feel better, we learn how to offer ourselves compassion and curiosity instead.
We learn how to ask ourselves what we are REALLY feeling if we aren’t actually feeling ashamed of ourselves. If we aren’t actually broken. If our feelings of not enough aren’t coming from the fact that we aren’t doing enough.
We start to question if the reason we feel so isolated and alone may not be because we are inadequate, undeserving of love or again shameful on some level.
We start to allow ourselves to process the pain we are actually feeling as we work to keep up with this system of never enough and we learn to see through the idea that we are simply failing to our actual feelings of anger, sadness, isolation and disappointment.
This exploration into our true feelings through the lens of compassion and giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt opens the door for us to start to be curious about what may actually be causing our pain, if the answer isn’t that the pain is due to our fundamental lack and flawed nature.
Check out this video for more on this.
This is the very medicine we need to start to break through the mental blocks we all tend to have when it comes to looking at our value system and how it may be harming us rather than helping us.
You see, for most of us, the culture that we are living in isn’t obvious to us as being something we can question.
It’s the water we’re swimming in, and it’s been so deeply taught to us that it is ‘the way of things’ that to even see it for what it is, to take a step back and actually look at it from the birds eye view to get our minds around what it’s really about and what it’s really saying to us all day takes a lot of effort.
To be able to see it not as the way and therefore a measure of our value based on how well we can or can’t fit into it, but as a way that we can question, challenge and ultimately change if it’s not working for us - is a massive step.
To be able to see that the way we are doing things isn’t the best and ultimate way, and to see that if we are ‘failing’ to find happiness and fulfillment within the system we can actually question the system instead of questioning ourselves means that all of a sudden we are breaking ourselves out of the trap of seeing ourselves through the lens of the system, and we can start to see ourselves through the lens of our actual humanity.
Which will then help us to reassess what is actually working within the systems we have, and where it is the system that is causing pain vs, us not being able to measure up to the system that is causing pain.
This work of making ourselves our own safe place is the work we have to do in order to be able to see the system, and in order to be able to question it’s values instead of perpetually questioning ourselves.
Then once we get onto this, once we start to see that the system has set us up to be playing a game that we can never win, that we can never succeed within, that we can never find satisfaction of safety in - we are going to be broken free to start to make changes to the ways we interact with the system.
We are going to start to see where we can pull back. Where we can do less. Where we can take less.
Where more consumption isn’t actually the answer.
Where we don’t have to be perpetually leveling up.
Where we can stop participating in the trends and start participating in what actually matters to us and brings us actual feelings of satisfaction.
Where we can step out of the constant state of competition and start to connect with others in a real, human to human way.
Where we can start to see ourselves as fundamentally worthy, and thus start to judge the system based on its capacity to support what actually matters - life - vs. judging ourselves as either worthy or unworthy based on how well we serve the system.
THIS is the work of changing our fundamental values.
And when we change our fundamental values, the ways we work, the things we consume, the ways we interact with others, the things we are willing to invest our time and energy into and that which we start to recognize as worthy of our time and support and that which we start to see as simply distraction and harmful changes.
It changes how we see the world, and thus how we interact with it.
We have to realize that the more of us that do this, the more of us that do this work of divesting from what doesn’t actually have value so that we can start reinvesting in what does, the more we are going to create a new society that works to support all of us better.
The more we are going to be able to push back against the perpetual lie that consumption and production are the solutions to all of our problems, the more we are going to participate in creating a system that is actually more equitable for all of us.
The more we are going to realize where we can share instead of taking more for ourselves.
The more we are going to draw back from participating in industries that require exploitation and harm.
The more we are going to get curious about how what we consume is made and the more we are going to find that we actually become activists for better systems.
The more we are going to be able to pull back from the constant self improvement so that we have time to invest in our communities and the care of others.
The more we are going to realize where we DO have enough, so we can then be part of creating a system that provides the opportunity for all of us to have enough.
The more we are going to stop seeing people as worthy or unworthy based on their social status, and the more we are going to start to see all humans as worthy of love, respect, kindness, safety and opportunity.
It changes everything.
It changes what we can and will tolerate and what we won’t - and this is the shift that needs to happen if we really want something new.
Self love will create a new world system, because when we make this shift on the inside, it is going to inevitably change how you see yourself, the world around you and how you interact with everything in your life.
This is how true revolution happens.
So please let yourself take this journey.
Learn to be your own safe place, and learn to give yourself that compassion and curiosity.
What if you aren’t broken?
What then?
Let this be the seed that turns you into a whole new tree - one that is a part of the new forest we want to build for all of us.
<3
Are you sick of the self help roller coaster that leaves you constantly striving and never arriving?
Are you ready for a true spiritual path that connects you to yourself and reality so you can feel good about your life?
Then come check out the Mystery School.
The school is a 4-5 year self paced program that includes written lectures, videos, worksheets, practices and a community all designed to help you develop a clearer view of yourself, your life and reality at large so that you can better design a life that actually works for you.
