If you've been around the self help/spirituality/personal growth 'blocks' for a while, there's a good chance you've heard MANY gurus tell you that 'comparison is the thief of joy.'
So much so that you may feel a little nauseous hearing it again.
We're told over and over again that if we 'really' want to be happy, if we want to feel good in our lives, if we want to feel like what we're doing is good enough and that what we have is worthy of being proud - that we have to stop looking to everyone else's 'highlight' reel and start being grateful for our own 'real reality'.
Now, on the one hand this is totally true in the sense that living in a world where we are CONSTANTLY in a state of looking to what everyone else is 'apparently' having, doing, being, achieving and experiencing, and where what's shared is generally ONLY the GOOD things and very rarely contains the messy, shitty and downright horrible aspects of life CAN make us feel like we're doing life wrong and like we're not as 'good' as other people.
But at the same time, we have seen a massive shift in the last few years of people coming out with the honest truth about their lives. More and more people are 'confessing' their dark secrets, showing themselves crying, showing the messy middle parts, showing their struggles - and yet we STILL feel inadequate, not good enough and like our good stuff doesn't live up to expectation.
What's more, this idea that we simply need to 'stop comparing ourselves' to others doesn't address WHY we're comparing in the first place.
It doesn't get at the root of the tendency we all have to compare and it makes it sound like just a 'bad habit' we all have for no good reason other than...we just want to feel shitty?
This is what I want to talk about today.
I want to explore why we compare, the positive intention in our comparisons, how we are TRAINED to be in a constant state of comparison and how many of us feel really unsafe letting that comparison go, and why even as we see more and more 'real' shares from others, it still doesn't make is feel any more secure or good enough in our own lives.
I want to talk about what the TRUE thief of our joy is, so we can stop blaming ourselves, yet again, for comparing and thus robbing ourselves of joy for seemingly no reason.
There are GOOD reasons for all of this, and NONE of those reasons involve us just needing to 'try harder' to not compare so much.
Let's dive into this today, so see if we can find some actual clarity, shall we?
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