Hello and welcome back!
In case you haven’t done so yet, please do go read Part One of this post before reading this one.
Today we’re going to go deeper into what it takes to walk a path of the unknown. What it takes to create a life you’ve never had before, and what the growth journey really looks like.
Hopefully this post will give you some solid perspectives to work with if you find yourself in a state of transition where you feel lost.
You’re not alone, and there are some things that can help.
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Feeling Was My Navigation Tool
Feeling.
It was all about feeling my way forward.
Now, before we get too out in the weeds, I want to make it clear that logic, thinking, reasoning and being a generally grounded person working with real reality was a MASSIVE part of figuring out what I was going to do with my life and how I was going to make everything happen. I’m in no way trying to claim here that it was all ‘felt sensation’ and that there was no thinking involved.
Of course that’s not true. The logical mind, our reasoning skills, our capacity to figure things out via observing reality and working with it - these are all vital parts of the growth process.
The intellect is all about taking the information we already have, and the information we can gleen from others, and using it to paint a clear path forward. The intellect is great at taking information and organizing it. The intellect is awesome at organizing a plan and figuring out the steps to take within that plan.
But the intellect is not great at imagining things we’ve never experienced before. It’s not great at making choices that are not based on past experience. It’s not great with the unknown.
So we use the intellect where it’s strong - in planning and executing, in taking in what information IS available, in learning from the past and using that for guiding our future.
The intellect is awesome, logic and reason are important and we never want to try to live a life *without* these things.
That being said, I want to make it clear that I never would have gotten to where I am now had I ONLY used my mind and logic - because again so much of the path I had to walk to get from where I was to where I am now was totally unknown to me. So many of the steps I needed to take required me to choose a step out of all of my options based MOSTLY on what I FELT because I was never going to have enough information BEFORE taking the step to really know that I was doing the ‘right thing.’ I realized that my mind was able to ‘make sense’ of anything - it was able to come up with a reason why anything ‘could’ work/be right and it was able to come up with a reason why anything may fail/be wrong. I learned that when you’re on a path that isn’t a well worn one, you’re going to face many, many moments where the intellect simply doesn’t have enough information to make a good choice. Where you are literally just not going to know enough for the mind to be able to logically sort it all out.
This is where feeling comes in.
It is inevitable in all of our lives that we are going to face things that are so unknown to us, that are so outside of our realm of experience and that others don’t have awareness of that the logical mind isn’t going to be able to make a clear choice. There are going to be times when we simply do not have enough information to base out choices on logic. There are going to be times where the logical thing to do isn’t the right thing, isn’t the optimal thing. There are going to be times where what seems totally wrong is actually the best way forward. There are going to be times where we have to let go of what’s stable and secure in order to create the newness we want to create.
There are going to be times where the intellect simply can’t be our guide and we need to tap into another skill set in order to keep moving forward.
Feeling what felt like the next, right step - even when that step felt hard and confusing - like quitting a job that was secure but that I knew I’d outgrown. Like shifting to less one on one coaching so I could focus on building the school I knew I needed to build even though coaching was a great sustainable business model for me. Like taking this or that training.
There were MANY times on this path where I had to make a choice based pretty much fully on gut instinct - because all of the options in front of me could have been reasoned to be good or bad. There were times when again, the most logical choice FELT terrible, and the most irrational choice FELT the best - and following the feeling really paid off. There were times when I had no idea what the next steps could possibly be - and I had to open to feeling to even SEE a next step because my intellect was so fixed on what I had already experienced, it wasn’t seeing anything else.
I had to feel what was right for me, and then I used my logic to work out my practical steps and to make sure that what I was doing wasn’t simply impulse. The logic was always there, but it wasn’t the DRIVING force.
Learning to FEEL what my body was telling me in terms of where I wanted to go next and what was the right path - THIS was the added layer of intelligence I needed to navigate this path.
When we are going somewhere we’ve never been before, we aren’t going to be able to use logic exclusively to get there.
Logic only knows what we’ve already experienced.
FEELING allows us to tap into awareness that goes beyond what we’ve already experienced.
Our felt sensations hold a different kind of information - a guiding kind of information - that can DIRECT the intellect.
Learning to get into your body, to feel what your sensational experience of each option in front of you is, to trust that your physical sensations have information for you and learning how to slowly and gently decode the information coming from you body is a massive part of walking a path towards new life.
Developing a relationship with your feelings, feeling what feels like contraction and what feels like expansion - this is all important work.
I highly recommend that anyone seeking to grow their lives in any way, learns how to be in their bodies, learns how to navigate their feelings and learns how to trust the expansion and contraction in the felt experience.
Without this intelligence, it is very hard to get anywhere new.
Nothing Was A Barrier
The next most important thing that helped me get from where I was to where I am, was in embracing ALL parts of the path.
I made a commitment in the very beginning to see everything that I was experiencing as information, as being something I NEEDED in order to get me from where I was to where I wanted to be.
Rather than looking at any of my steps as ‘not the right thing’ because they weren’t where I wanted to be, rather than looking at all that was not good enough about each phase, rather than believing anything was just ‘holding me back’ from what I really wanted to be doing - I decided to see everything as a part of the curriculum.
I lived as though life was guiding me through a well planned program, like going from kindergarten to grade 12, assuming that if I just did every step to my fullest capacity, I would continue graduating and eventually get to my end destination.
I understood that kindergarten looks nothing like grade 12. That the information in grade 3 isn’t what I would be studying in grade 10 - but that the information in grade 3 was the FOUNDATIONS for what I would be studying in grade 10. I saw my life this way - each job was a grade. Each personal setback was a grade. Each moment of opportunity was a graduation from one grade to the next.
I lived like everything was on the path, and this made me live in a way where I never stopped working towards my goal and I never saw what I was living in that moment as something ‘outside’ of the goal.
Letting myself explore all the modalities, letting myself really GET from each job what I needed to get from it. Seeing every step as a step on the path and not a distraction. Really focusing on what I could do in the moment to learn, to become stronger, to become better.
I assumed it was all a part of the path, and I chose to learn everything I could from each step. I knew I was ready to move on when the next step became obvious - and until that happened, I knew I was in the grade I was in still for a reason.
Every job was a learning opportunity. Every holding pattern was a deepening opportunity. Every new experience taught me something I needed to know to be the kind of person who could do what I wanted to do.
Through all of that, I also have been through MASSIVE personal shifts. I’ve experienced a LOT of growth in my own humanity - and all of this has been part of what has given me the capacity to do what I do and offer what I offer.
I’ve used every personal challenge, every set back, every relationship sticking point, every challenge with my health, every part of my path to healing from a traumatizing childhood again as a learning opportunity that was feeding into my capacity to support others. I saw ALL of it not as a distraction from becoming who I wanted to become, but as the PATH to becoming who I wanted to become.
Because I knew deep down that doing the JOB I wanted to do, was going to require me to be a certain kind of PERSON. There wasn’t a separation between my work and my humanity - they were one and the same journey.
I let ALL of it be the path - and so it WAS.
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Alright, we are going to take a brief intermission from this series next week to talk about something VERY important, and then we will be back the following week with part three of this series!
<3
Loving this content?
Wanting something a little more structured and organized?
Wanting to take your self love path to the next level but not sure how to do that?
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