Though this may seem counter-intuitive, the reality is that for many of us learning to question our painful thoughts and beliefs is actually a really scary process.
As much as it may sound logical that we would WANT to find out that we are believing things that aren’t true so that be can shift our beliefs to ones that actually FEEL better - for many of us when we actually get into doing the work of shifting our thoughts, we come up against the reality that we tend to FIGHT for our negative beliefs.
We start to realize that the process of actually inching towards believing that the things that we believe that hurt may not be true, is not so straight forward.
Instead of feeling liberated and set free by questioning our painful thoughts, many of us start to notice that what comes up instead is fear, shame, guilt and a sense that we are ‘bad’ or stupid for having believed what we did.
We start to look for all the evidence to support that our painful beliefs are true - because we don’t actually want to believe that we could have been wrong and that reality may not be as bad as we thought it was.
There can be a really strong belief that pops up to tell us that if we are wrong, that if our painful thoughts aren’t true - that this means that WE are bad and wrong, and this can be really painful.
So how do we navigate this?
How do we make room for questioning painful thoughts without getting stuck in shame, blame and guilt or feeling stupid - and thus fighting to KEEP our painful beliefs as a way of defending ourselves against these terrible feelings?
That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today.
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