If you have been following along here for a while, you may have stumbled across The Transformation Series - which is a series of blogs that I wrote to help people who are wanting to change their lives, but are finding that they are lost in 'groundhog day' - meaning everything they try to do to change their life, lands them back where they started.
If you have not had a chance to read the series, you can do so here:
part three http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3431
part four http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3534
Part Five http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3578
Part Six: http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3568
Part Seven: http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3604
Part Eight: http://perceptiontrainers.com/?p=3616
Today I want to give a quick clarification of a nuance to this work that I am seeing is being missed by many as they approach this work, that is actually really important for any of the tools in the series to be effective in getting you ACTUAL life change. So here we go.
The Re-arranging The Furniture Of Your Life Concept Is Multifaceted, Not Black And White:
The reason we get into 'furniture re-arranging' is because we are unsatisfied with something in our lives. This is a sign that we do need change. However, for most of us when we feel this dissatisfaction, rather than taking the time to deeply investigate what is going on for us, why it is going on, what we want and how we should go about getting 'there' - we turn to knee jerk reactions to try to immediately remedy the situation.
For instance we will feel agitated and bothered and will turn to one, two or all three of the following 'solutions:'
1. Attempting To Remedy The Situation That's Bothering You By 'Getting Away From It': This can look like leaving the marriage just because you hate the marriage, leaving the job just because you hate the job, moving cities because you don't like the city - anything that is essentially just abandoning what is with hopes of a 'grass is greener' solution that will manifest with just one step or move from you.
2. Turning To Distraction: This can look like binge watching t.v, drinking, partying, shopping, eating, socializing, even things like meditation, journalling and other 'spiritual' activities can fall into this category if you are using them in a way that is not to find clarity and then ACT DIFFERENTLY based on that clarity - any form of doing something just to make yourself feel better right now.
3. Creating Another Drama Somewhere Else In Your Life: This usually looks like engaging in some sort of self sabotaging behaviour like over eating, picking fights with your partner, over spending and so on that you then turn into something you must 'fix' about yourself OR simply finding something in your life to 'blame' your unhappy feelings on that you then dive headlong into trying to 'fix' like doing massive amounts of 'emotional release' or other methods of 'work' you think will lead you to being happy when whatever is wrong with YOU is fixed.
Now, the reason we don't want to default to these behaviors is for one reason and one reason only - they stop us from growing. They distract us from what is going on in our reality, or they give us a placebo of 'change' when we have actually just made a lateral move.
We must understand that true growth, true learning, true increased awareness will ALWAYS lead to CHANGE in the internal and the external world.
So the practices of slowing down, not reacting immediately, going inwards and looking for information is not to be used as a SUBSTITUTE for changing your life - this is no magical solution that promises if you just mediate long enough or get clear enough through readings or sessions your life will change itself.
True Change Starts With New Information:
The reason we stop is because in order to make actual REAL change, you need MORE INFORMATION. And that information is ONLY available IN the situation you are in!
We stop and meditate, go in, do the heart space room and all those things in order to gather more information about the reality (the situation we are in) and ourselves (our thoughts, feelings, perceptions and so on) so that we can take all that information, understand WHY we are in the situation we are in - and then rather than moving AWAY from what we don't want/like, we then start to move TOWARDS what is wanted. We learn to be with our negative thoughts and emotions - not to try to clear them, not to try to learn to live with them - but to learn how to HEAR what they are saying.
The bottom line is, we feel badly because we are believing something that is out of alignment with truth, and from this belief we are ACTING out of alignment with truth. So when we have truly done the work necessary for deep, lasting, satisfying change, we will have discover what our discordant thoughts and emotions were trying to show us ie. where our version of reality and actually reality didi not align - and we will then CHANGE OURSELVES - our perception and our action to align with truth. We will deeply understand the situation and what bothers us about it, what it is trying to teach us about reality and ourselves, and with that we LEARN something new and can then EXPAND and change in a way that leads us to something that we have NEVER DONE before!
The slowing down is to get information, so you can move towards that which is growth, rather than away from that which is simply bothering you right now without your clear understanding of WHY it is bothering you - and remember, the reason it is bothering you is because it is containing information you don't want to look at, because it means change. It means letting go of what you believe and how you have been living for what is TRUE and a life that aligns with life itself.
The reason we don't want to look at what is, is usually (ie. almost always) because what the thoughts, discontent and emotions are showing us is that there is a big gap between where we want to be (ie. in alignment with truth both individually and universally), and where we are. Who we want to be and who we are acting as. So when we go in and get true information, it is ALWAYS going to lead you to making changes that are generally a big deal.
From this real place, you will start to move TOWARDS truth, towards what you now know to be 'right' and what will serve you and the rest of the planet, rather than just trying to escape what you feel is uncomfortable right now.
You will know it's real growth, because you will clearly see a few things:
1. Why the situation you were in was out of alignment with truth.
2. What truth is relative to this non-truth you were living - you will see how the contrast of living the lie actually taught you what truth was and you will be grateful for it.
3. You will realize getting to truth is not one small step away, but rather is going go be a much bigger journey than you thought.
4. You will see that there isa whole SYSTEM at play that is creating your current life, and that that whole system will have to be questioned and moved through.
5. You will realize the change that needs to take place is big, is internal and external, is the biggest risk ever in so many ways, because it will be against all of your conditioning.
You will have to move - but not away from a place you hate, but towards a place you LOVE that will require you learn a whole lot about yourself and life in order to make the move successfully.
You will leave the marriage or go to counseling - not to get away or fix, but to find true, lasting love and connection, realizing the pain and wounding was way deeper than you thought, and the process of regeneration is going to be deep and dynamic.
You will leave the job - not to simply find yourself in the same job you left but to go back to school to get education in a new field or to make a radical shift in what you are offering in your current job, or starting to express what you know is on your heart to give but that you have been HORRIFIED to express due to all the fears of rejection and loss. You will be willing to take a journey of self discovery to find a real passion not just a good job.
The point is - true growth will look like taking big, scary steps. You won't know how you are going to 'get too' the destination, but you will have a destination in mind that is calling your soul, and you will be willing to do the hard and scary work of truly changing your life in order to get there - one step at a time.
So this is not about inaction. This is about INSPIRED action. This is about BRAVE and NEW action that takes you to places you have never been before. This is about being willing to do many, many steps to create change, without knowing the whole path.
Fake growth will ALWAYS look like all you need to do is change one or two things (only take a few steps to your new, blissful life) or like something you have done before. That is when you need to go in and get more information. Observe your reality to get more information.
Fake growth will tell you that you have 'processed' your emotions or feelings by feeling them. True growth will let you know that the feelings are there for a reason, not just to be felt but to be acted on once you are clear on why they are there. If they keep arising, it is because your life has not changed enough for you not to be in discord anymore.
True growth will be moving towards a new dream that you don't know how to get too, making changes you never thought you could make, facing your fears and becoming someone you have never been before.
This is not about inaction. In order to change your life, you will have to change. Just intelligently
I hope that clears things up!
In case you missed them, here are last weeks videos: