Today I want to offer you some seeds of peace.
Today I want to offer you some words of assurance and love.
Today I want to offer you a place to return to when you’re feeling lost, stressed, overwhelmed and confused - so that you can recenter and regroup in a way that hopefully feels really nice and supportive.
The truth is, right now we are living in a world that is constantly driving us into a state of anxiety.
That is perpetually telling us that we’re failing, that we’re not doing good enough, that we aren’t successful enough, that we aren’t talented enough.
That is always showing us where we ‘could’ be doing better, achieving more, experiencing more, doing more and where we’re failing to live up to ‘standard.’
Our culture is very much centered around keeping us in a constant state of stress, fear, shame, guilt and worry - and this is because when we are in these states we are MUCH more likely to be pulled into the marketing tactics that tell us that in order to be happy, in order to be fulfilled, in order to ‘get rid’ of these feelings of discontent and unhappiness - that we NEED to be buying more or producing more.
Our culture is deeply invested in making sure that we never feel that we are enough, that we never feel that we are achieving what we should be, of never feeling that we are lovable, worthy or safe how we are are - because so long as we feel that sense of insecurity, when we are then told that the answer to our pain is to buy the next self help course, invest in the next retreat, buy more supplements, do more work, become more individualistic, fight harder for ourselves at the cost of others and so on - we are primed to believe the messages and we are primed to follow them.
At the same time, when we are perpetually feeling these feelings of insecurity, of lack, of not being and doing enough, we are going to notice that our systems are then going to be in a perpetual state of FEAR.
We are going to notice that when we tune into our bodies there is an underlying feeling that who and what we are isn’t safe. Isn’t going to be ok.
We’re going to notice an ever present sense that something is ‘wrong’ - and if we’re not perpetually concerned that there is something wrong with US, we are then looking ‘out there’ for what could be wrong and so much of the time we are then told that what’s wrong ‘out there’ is that other people who are different from us are threats to us. That we must be constantly on guard against our fellow man because they are only there to bring us down, compete with us, take what we want or make us feel badly about ourselves by comparison.
This fear state is really toxic, and it causes us to lose touch with our humanity. With our empathy. With our capacity to see others as members of our human family. It stops us from being able to create systems that are truly supportive for us as a species and it keeps us in constant competition mode - which only leads to MORE suffering and problems.
This is really good for the economy.
This is really good for the power structures that are continually profiting off of the exploitation of groups they can then call ‘bad’ and convince the rest of society to hate vs. seeing them in their humanity.
It’s really good for our systems of over consumption and production - our systems that tell us that productivity for productivities sake is a virtue and how we can define the value of a human, our systems that tell us that if we are hurting we either need to fix ourselves or buy something to numb ourselves with, that tell us that the solution to all of our problems is to focus more on ourselves and what we can get from others - all obfuscating the actual path of growth and healing that we need to take.
These messages that we are never enough, that we can never be enough, that we aren’t good, that we are inherently shameful and that we must fear our neighbors are causing us to go down a road of destruction.
Both individual destruction as we perpetually war against ourselves in an attempt to become what we think we need to be in order to be good enough, loved, safe and provided for (which never seems to happen because if it did, the system would collapse) or at war with those around us because we feel like everything and everyone is a threat.
This way of life isn’t sustainable - and most of us can FEEL that. We know this is true on a deep level because trying to live in alignment with it is causing us to feel terrible.
Many of us believe that we feel terrible because we are broken - rather than being able to understand that we feel terrible because the SYSTEM is broken.
We are responding to a way of life that doesn’t work. We are not broken for experiencing pain within the system - we are ALIVE and that’s why we’re experiencing pain in the system.
Changing the system is going to START with us being able to identify where and how the system is flawed, and how we can shift ourselves and our thinking to a new way - and then from there, we will notice that we start to LIVE in a new way.
From this new way of life, we will then be CREATING the new systems.
Not just talking about them. Not just theorizing about what could or should work. Not just making up stories - but actually being a part of the change.
When we shift how we see ourselves, when we shift how we see reality, we are then going to shift how we interact with the world - and THIS is how we are going to create something better.
So with that, I want to offer you some differing perspectives from the ones that culture sends us all day, so we can start to shift the way we see things, and slowly move towards a better way of life for all of us
When You’re Feeling Unworthy, Remember These Words:
The TRUE value of productivity is in its capacity to produce what supports LIFE. It is not a virtue to be productive beyond what is necessary and helpful.
How much you are able to consume and produce is NOT a reflection of your value as a human being. That is a man-made system of hierarchy that doesn’t exist in real reality. In real reality, we are all equally worthy - and differently abled. A society centered on TRUTH would be able to recognize that it is LIFE that has value, and that production is just what we do to SUPPORT that life.
The journey from where we are to where we want to go is ALWAYS going to be messy. There is no such thing as a straight shot from ‘here’ to ‘there.’
No one you admire, no one who has achieved what you want to achieve, no one who has mastered anything of value did so overnight, without failure, without doubt, without long nights of dread, without putting in the time and effort when no one was looking and there was seemingly no reward. You are not failing if your journey isn’t glamorous, chances are that means you’re doing it right.
We aren’t all the same - and this doesn’t mean that anyone is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than anyone else. Those again are man-made labels that we have come up with in order to justify exploitation. The TRUTH is, life is life and life has value.
The more we are able to find compassion for ourselves, the more we’re going to be able to find true understanding - understanding around why we do what we do, understanding around what we need, understanding of why we suffer and understanding of SYSTEMS and the bigger picture that’s constantly impacting us.
Shame is always a lie. There is always something deeper that we are feeling, experiencing, going through, processing or needing to become aware of - and in finding COMPASSION for ourselves we are going to see where we are either being harmed, where we have a need, where we are mistaking not having a need met for being broken or where we need to GROW in order to create better results - and the more we have compassion the more we will be able to actually address our issues vs. getting stuck in never ending loops of self improvement that don’t address the real issues.
We can’t know what we don’t know. We are all going to make mistakes, cause harm and think that reality works in one way only to find out that it works in another. This doesn’t make us fundamentally flawed or evil, this makes us HUMAN. The key is to learn and grow from the experiences that help us see these things, vs. letting them trap us in cycles of needless shame.
We only know now what we know because of what we’ve done in the past. If we were to ‘go back’ we actually COULDN’T do things differently, because the only reason we have the insight about what may have been a better way NOW, is BECAUSE of having gone THROUGH what we did. We didn’t know before. There is no past version of you that could have made a different choice. Only the present you that can be supported.
If you’re trying, you’re likely failing. If you’re on the path, you’re likely facing moments of doubt, being lost, not knowing what to do next and boredom. If you’re doing it right, there will be people who don’t believe in you or your potential. This is all par for the course. Not a sign that you’re on the wrong path.
Sometimes the stories we’re telling ourselves about reality are far more painful than actual reality. Learning to bring ourselves into the present so that we can assess what’s ACTUALLY happening vs. what we think MIGHT happen or even what we think is happening is KEY to finding freedom.
Our minds are sometimes going to naturally look out for the worst case scenario as a way of trying to keep us safe - but this doesn’t mean that the worst is actually happening or that it’s going to happen. Sometimes we need to remember that all we can really do is deal with what’s right in front of us, and we need to give ourselves space to do JUST that.
When you nourish and support the being that you are RIGHT NOW - letting go of trying to become some hypothetical ‘better’ version of yourself - we will often find that THIS is where we experience the MOST growth. When we try to push ourselves to ‘become’ something we aren’t right now, we often find that we DON’T grow, because growth is really just the result of getting our needs met. When we address who and what we are right now, we can meet our needs. THAT is where ALL growth happens.
You’re not going to hate yourself into someone that you can love. You’re not going to become the person you want to be by perpetually shaming yourself for who you are right now. Rather, the more you learn to accept and appreciate what you are right now, the more you’re going to find that you are set free from the pressure to become what was never really authentic to you, and the more you’re then able to figure out what DOES matter to you, so you can SUPPORT yourself in that growth vs. shaming yourself into that growth.
The more you honor your capacity and do just what you are capable of doing, the more you avoid burnout and the faster you will get to where you want to go. The more you push yourself past what you’re capable of the more you’re going to have to stop and recover, and the slower you will go.
There are very, very few absolutes in life. Always and never thinking will likely lead us down a painful path. When we can embrace the complexity of life, the grey areas, the reality that we are always going to be living on a spectrum - the more we’re going to be able to find true self support and true balance in our lives.
You are never going to be just like anyone else. Your life is never going to look like anyone else's. There will be similarities and there will be differences. Your journey is your journey and to say that yours is better or worse than anyone else is to misunderstand reality.
You are worthy of love just how you are. Right here, right now.
Sometimes what’s right is hard, and that is just a reality of life. But when we tune into our feelings, we will invariably find that what’s right STILL feels liberating - even if it’s challenging - and what’s wrong still feels heavy and dark even if it would be easier in the short term.
So much of what is required to go from where we are to where we want to go isn’t special skills, special knowledge, a special personality or having something that regular people don’t have. Rather it’s simply time spent doing the thing. It’s practice. It’s patience in the repetition. Most people got from where they were to where they are simply by repeating the same basic actions over and over again reaping the rewards of cumulative effort.
Nothing is going to be healed in an instant. We aren’t meant to heal in an instant. Seeing something in a new way is a PART of healing, but the intellectual experience of awakening is only step one. Integration takes time, always.
The more we can allow ourselves to have compassion for ourselves in exactly what we are right now, the more we will grow.
Growth is always going to be messy.
Change will always involve some level of fear - even when it’s objectively positive and what we want.
We’re allowed to be in states of rest, integration and enjoyment. We don’t always have to be pushing to the next thing, the next level, the next accomplishment or the next growth. Life will carry us when it’s time.
You’re allowed to approve of who you are right now, knowing there will always be a future version of you that’s grown, changed and achieved more than you have right now. ALL versions of you are worthy of love.
The only reason you know what you know now, the only reason you can do what you can do now and the only reason you have what you have now is because of the past versions of you that didn’t know, that couldn’t do it and that didn’t have it. Love those past versions, they are the foundations upon which you now stand.
Just because you can’t do it right now, doesn’t mean you can’t learn to do it.
All you ever need to know is the next step. You are never going to see the whole path of growth, change, evolution and expansion before you start walking.
You are worthy of love just as you are.
This is all what it means to be human, you’re not failing.
Promise.
<3
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