The reality is, what most of us are being sold as ‘wellness’ is actually just capitalism and consumerism with crystals and feathers attached.
What most of us are being sold as ‘wellness’ is actually just more self improvement, more self rejection and more self hate packaged as the antidote to feeling like we aren’t good enough.
What most of us are being sold as ‘wellness’ is really just obsessive navel-gazing that doesn’t lead us anywhere except towards more self scrutiny that never ends.
The truth is, the ‘wellness’ industry that we have right now wasn’t born with the intention of actually making us well, it wasn’t birthed to actually help us figure out what we truly want and need in order to help us get these things and it wasn’t created with the intention of supporting humanity in feeling better.
Rather the current wellness industry that we’re floating around in is part and parcel of the same toxic systems of consumerism and overproduction that are driving most of us to feel terrible in the first place.
This is often a really hard thing for us to actually see and fully conceptualize because at first glance, so much of what’s being sold to us really does seem like it’s helping. It really can appear as though it’s supporting us, and it can really feel like when we ‘get on track’ and follow the protocols and recommendations of the wellness world that we DO get results.
This isn’t to say that in real reality there is absolutely nothing of value in the wellness world - but it is to say that so much of it is actually perpetuating our issues rather than making things better - and this needs to be addressed and understood if we’re going to interact with wellness culture in a way that actually serves us.
So today I want to explore all the ways in which our wellness culture is messing with us, so that we can go out into the world of wellness armed with information in order to make sure that we are actually consciously consuming and not just adding fuel to the ‘I’m not good enough’ fire.
Our Culture Thrives On Us Feeling Terrible About Ourselves
The very first thing we must come to realize about our culture in general, is that MOST of the things that are sold to us are sold to us with the underlying message that if we buy or have whatever’s being offered, it’s going to make us feel better about ourselves and our lives.
It’s sold to us as a ‘remedy’ to a ‘pain point’ a lot of the time - promising to deliver us from whatever we’re currently struggling with and whatever is currently causing us to suffer.
In the mainstream this looks like telling us that if we have the right clothes, the right cars, if we take the right kind if vacations, wear the right makeup, mingle with the right people, watch the right media, stay up with whatever is currently trending and make ourselves fit into popular culture as much as possible that THIS will make us feel how we want to feel.
We are sold that if we don’t feel good in our lives that there is a way to consume or produce our way out of that negative feeling.
We’re sold that if we’re not consuming the right things, this is the reason for our plight - and often this comes with the connotation that not being able to consume the right things is a sign of not PRODUCING the right things. Ie. it’s a sign that we’re not working the right jobs in the right fields to be respected and abundant.
If we zoom out and take a broad look at what’s really happening, we can see that at its roots, our culture is a culture that is deeply classist. That we live in a culture where basic human needs like healthcare, healthy food availability, time to rest and relax, time to be in nature, time to move our bodies, the space to explore hobbies outside of work and the ability to find work that feels fulfilling or purposeful on some level generally require that you have a certain level of wealth.
We live in a culture that doesn’t see all human beings as being equally valuable and worthy of safety but rather that sees us as expendable tools that are either ‘contributing’ to the system in a way that benefits large corporate interests - by working high paying jobs and consuming as much as possible - or who aren’t.
We live in a culture that deeply depends upon there being a large ‘lower class’ of people who DON’T have access to these basic tools for health because their time, energy and labor is being exploited in a way that serves to increase the profit margins of those at the top of the system, and who aren’t being served by the system in terms of support and provision. We are then culturally trained to see these people as being the cause of their own plight due to not working hard enough/doing the right things/being criminals and so on rather than seeing that these people are in many ways being deeply impacted by a system that’s fully stacked against them.
We live in a culture that depends upon a middle class of people who DO have enough in terms of being able to keep their heads above water and provide for themselves enough to access the safety that we need via having enough money, but who then constantly feel like they aren’t enough, don’t have enough, aren’t doing enough and are fundamentally flawed on some level - so that they can be continually manipulated into buying things they don’t need and working harder for jobs that don’t actually benefit society in order to try to earn that feeling of safety and goodness that can never actually be achieved.
We live in a culture where we have been conditioned to believe that being accepted by society by the way of PERFORMING the role of a wealthy person who can then be respected and loved is the way to achieve a feeling of safety, goodness, love and security. We have been conditioned to live in a way where our deep social connection needs aren’t being met because we’re trained to believe that hyper independence is the answer to all of our problems, that individualism is how we are going to ‘find who we are’ and thus feel like we have an identity that means something and that THIS is how we are going to feel like we matter. Rather than seeing that the very social connection that we need to feel safe has been engineered out of our culture in a very specific way so that again, we are ever more dependent upon corporations to sell us things to numb the pain and we are ever the more willing to sacrifice ourselves in order to be more productive.
We’re not even seeing that what we want is safety, love and security. We’re not seeing that the reason we don’t feel good is because our culture is fully set up in a way where our needs aren’t being met, where we are constantly feeling judged and like we aren’t enough and where the only solutions we have access to are in the form of consumables or things we ‘do’ to earn our way forward.
We’re not seeing that the very things that MAKE us feel safe - community connection, access to resources and education and the ability to reasonably predict the future so that we can prepare for what’s coming have all been intentionally engineered OUT of our experience so that we feel continually insecure and unsafe.
We’re not seeing that the feelings of safety, belonging and satisfaction that we’re looking for are going to come from disconnecting from our culture that is so deeply lacking in what we actually need, rather than from engaging in it harder.
All we know is that we perpetually feel lacking and we are trying to make that feeling go away with food, alcohol, superficial relationships, numbing out in front of the t.v or computer screen, scrolling our phones, being on top of trends, overworking ourselves in jobs that don’t feel fulfilling and perpetually seeking a good enough that can never come.
So long as we are operating from this place, we are always going to be vulnerable to being sold things we don’t need and to doing things we don’t need to be doing - all in the name of corporate profit over people.
Enter: The Wellness Industry
The wellness industry often tries to sell itself as the antidote to the above scenario.
The wellness industry tells us that if we just work on ourselves enough, have the right morning routine, figure out ‘who we are’ and what we are meant to DO in the world, optimize our diets, do the right meditations and breathing exercises, go on the right healing retreats, spend enough time and money in therapy learning to regulate our nervous systems and dial in our sleep schedule, if we get enough sun exposure and do enough skincare that in THIS we’re going to feel how we want to feel.
The wellness industry actually takes that propaganda that you can make yourself feel better by consuming and producing from regular culture and dials it up a notch - it says that the reason you don’t feel good is not because you don’t have the right things or aren’t producing enough, but rather because there’s some fundamental flaw in your nature that you need to fix with all of the things the wellness industry is prepared to sell you.
The wellness industry says that the reason you don’t feel good is because you are broken on some level. You got traumatized and you need healing. You don’t know how to regulate your emotions and you need to fix that. You don’t know how to attract the right partner and thus you need to fix your vibration. You’re unwell in your body because you are eating all the wrong things and doing all the wrong practices and you need to improve all of that. You feel anxiety and depression and loneliness because you’re thinking the wrong thoughts and aren’t taking responsibility for yourself.
Any insecurity that you have, any pain, any struggle, any place in your life where you don’t feel safe, supported or secure is a place where you can look to the wellness world to buy yourself a solution.
All with the message that if you just do all the right things, take enough responsibility for yourself, practice the right practices and yes, consume and produce the right things - that you too can transcend the pain of life and become one who floats through life without any negative emotions and every eyebrow constantly in place.
The wellness industry looks at all the places of insecurity, doubt and fear that our culture has created through making our basic needs and human connection scarce and hard to come by in a sustainable way, and it says ‘this is actually a problem with YOU. Thus the solution is to work on yourself, improve yourself, take responsibility and do more.’
It’s really the system on hyperdrive.
It’s not the antidote to what’s making us feel terrible - not by a longshot. It’s actually the very system that’s making us feel terrible, dressed up with crystals and feathers to offer the facade of it being different.
THIS is what we need to recognize when we are interacting with the wellness world.
Seeing The Lie For What It Is
Again, in order to combat this, in order to find the tools, supports and techniques that exist in the wellness world that CAN be actually supportive and helpful for us - because there are MANY things that truly DO help - we first have to see the lie for what it is.
The lie being that YOU are fundamentally broken and that the solutions to all of your pain and problems lie in fixing yourself.
Remember - let’s zoom out for a moment and remember what ACTUALLY serves to make us humans feel good:
- Access to healthy food
- Access to time in nature
- Access to a loving community that we know will support us when we’re down and that we support when they are down, who celebrate with us in the good times and are simply THERE for us during the mundane times
- A spirituality that helps us feel connected to the life that we are living and to those around us, as well as to something that fills us with a sense of purpose
- Work that feels purposeful and like it’s actually accomplishing something for ourselves and others
- A relative degree of physical safety and provision with a knowing that if things get tough we have safety nets in place to help us out
- Access to leisure time where we don’t have to be consuming or producing
- Access to time to explore hobbies and interested
- A feeling that we can BE ourselves, express ourselves and grow in a way that feels natural for us
- The ability to process our emotions in a healthy way, and the ability to healthfully communicate our wants and needs to those in our community
THIS is what makes us feel WELL.
Basic provisions, social connection, a feeling of purpose.
Generally speaking, when we have these needs met, we’re going to feel pretty good.
Now if you look at our culture, you can see just how stark it is in terms of being the polar opposite of what we need.
Most of us don’t feel well in our world because we don’t have the foundational building blocks for wellness or we’ve been convinced that the foundational building blocks for wellness aren’t important and instead we need to be pursuing luxury, wealth and status.
If we’re in the wellness world, we’ve been convinced that self improvement via constantly performing the part of a spiritual or wellness person is the way to success.
We’ve been convinced that our reasonable reactions to a culture that is so counter to what we need to survive and thrive - our existential dread, our constant feelings of insecurity, our depression and anxiety, our health issues, our struggles in relationships, our lack of emotional maturity and so on - are all due to US being FAILURES vs. being due to a culture that has never TAUGHT us to actually be well.
THIS is what we need to see and what we need to filter all of our wellness consumption through.
The reality is this - you’re not broken.
If you’re hurting, there are likely things you CAN do to support yourself in feeling better. But in order to figure out what you actually NEED so that you are not perpetually being dragged into spaces where you buy things you don’t need and produce things you don’t need to be producing - where you’re being led on a wild goose chase for wellness that never goes anywhere - we must start with the following foundational assumptions:
You are worthy of love, safety and support just as you are.
You are good enough and the pain in your life is not your fault, but rather it’s a result of not having been taught to fully understand what you want or need, or is a result of living in a reality where you’re needs aren’t being met.
You do have power - but that power is going to come from looking for the tools that are going to SUPPORT you vs. looking for the tools that are going to FIX you.
Starting From New Foundations
From here, before you buy your next program, before you engage in your next self help endeavor, before you try to change your vibration or get yourself into a new workout and diet routine I want you to consider the following:
- Would you still want to do what you’re about to do if you knew you were already worthy of love?
- Would you still want to do what you’re about to do if you knew that you weren’t broken, but rather that you were RESPONDING to a need not being met?
- Would you still want to do what you’re about to do if you have a solid connection to a community that made you feel safe and loved?
- Would you still want to do what you’re about to do if you knew that you weren’t broken, but rather you just have needs you need to learn to understand and meet in new ways?
- If you were to believe that you were good enough, and if you were to believe that what you need for wellness is actually what’s listed in the previous section - is what being sold to you moving you TOWARDS a life that will actually feel good or away from that life?
- If you were to be looking for TOOLS to help you better navigate the complex reality of life where sometimes things are going to be hard and challenging and there is no perfect transcendence, would you still want to engage in what you’re about to engage in?
- If you felt good enough about yourself, would what’s being sold to you still be attractive?
- What would you consume and what would you produce if you knew you were always going to be worthy of love and safety just as you are?
THESE are the questions I want you to start to ponder.
I also want you to start to look for the messaging behind what’s being sold to you.
Are you being sold that transcendence from all pain is possible if you just perfect or purify yourself enough? If so, I want you to recognize this as a lie.
Are you being sold that your pain is due to a fundamental flaw in your nature and that the solution is a consumable or something you have to do? If so, I want you to recognize this as a lie.
Are you being sold that you are fundamentally to blame for your pain and that the ultimate solution is taking responsibility for yourself? If so, I want you to recognize this as a lie.
At the end of the day, I want to plant a seed with all of this.
The wellness industry is a multi-billion dollar industry not because it’s actually helping people for the most part, but because it’s perpetually preying on people who are drowning under the weight of the very problems culture is creating.
It’s selling back to us more of the problem, painted as the solution.
If you were to see through this, what would you actually want to engage in? What would actually feel supportive? What would feel life generating?
Can you start to look at the wellness world through THIS lens - and if so, how does that shift what you’re wanting to engage in?
Can you check out of the ‘never enough’ system to find the tools that are actually going to help you?
THAT’S the goal.
<3
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