Why Judgement Is The Ultimate Paralyzer

Hello Friend!

Today I am going to talk about judgement. Why it paralyzes us, why it keeps us stuck in cycles of abuse and victimhood, why it stops us from making progress in our own lives and as a humanity and how we can move from judgement to DISCERNMENT in order to find true freedom in this life.

This is a big subject, so take your time going through this article.

You are worthy of discernment without guilt. Here's how to find that.

Judgment, The Ultimate Paralyzer:

Judgement, shame and guilt are all paralyzing forces.

Judgement is always founded in PAIN we don't understand.

It's a faulty perception of pain and a faulty reaction to it.

There is no judgment outside of an experience of pain - either predicted pain (defense before we can hurt or be hurt) or current pain. Check this in yourself - do you judge when not in a state of pain? Or when not trying to protect yourself from another and the pain they may cause you?

In reality pain and pleasure contain no morality. Pain is a response to living in some way that opposes the structure of life - something that inhibits growth and antagonizes survival and evolution. Pleasure is a result of going with the structure, meeting needs, learning new things, evolving and expanding.

Judgement was born in our childhoods when our caregivers were fully in charge of our experience - our pain and pleasure was dictated by them and their awareness. When they were unable to stop our pain, to help us, when they blamed or shamed us for our pain we internalized the lie that the pain we were in was because of a flaw in US. We believed there to be something wrong with us that our caregivers couldn't/wouldn't make us feel better or we projected evil onto them, seeing them as antagonizing forces in and of themselves.

THE root here was that pain = wrong/bad/evil.

This is judgement at its core. All human judgements spring from this one root judgement. Pain = evil and unworthiness of getting our needs met.

When we are judging ourselves we are starting from the fundamental assumption that we are fundamentally bad and wrong, that there is some inherent flaw within us. That our pain or the pain of others is being caused by an inherent evil or lack of goodness within us.

This shuts down our nervous systems (putting us into fight or flight) and blocks us from being able to shift in a positive direction, from being able to hear others for what they are truly expressing, to be able to see OURSELVES and our situation clearly. To seeing any damage that may be happening and why this damage is occurring. It makes us defensive and justifying. Simplifying. Looking for how we are 'good' so as to avoid needing to change (and thus obfuscating the actual CAUSE of the call out which is pain and the misalignment causing that pain - making things a morality issue that are simply always a misunderstanding of reality issue) or locking us in the terror that we are bad, and thus are not going to get our needs met and will die.

Judgement and condemnation of self or others works to keep things just as they are, because we can't grow in the states of fear and identification with evil as the self. We can't identify root issues or our participation in them. We can't hear others or what we may be knowingly or unknowingly doing to cause chaos. We can't align with reality because we are starting on the fundamentally incorrect assumption that what is arising is arising out of our inherent lack of goodness or someone else's inherent lack of goodness, rather than from a disconnection or misunderstanding of reality - which is all that's ever at the root of pain.

Judgement Is The Inner Traumatized Child:

We crate judgement in response to pain because the child like parts of us that never learned to connect to reality, to problem solve, to know our inherent worth OUTSIDE of our states of pain/pleasure.

We use judgement to try to justify ourselves - thus securing in our minds that we will keep being loved and provided for - or to self condemn hoping this will win us favor or sympathy and thus again get our needs met.

The child perspective that still believes that the opinions of others, our behaviour and how it's being perceived by others dictates how much we will or won't be provided for, loved, comforted and ushered out of pain. Saved by those around us through being acceptable.

Judgement makes it so that if we change based on learning something about the pain we were in and our role within it we are the admitting our fundamentally flawed nature - meaning we are unworthy of having our needs met and will thus DIE - and this is too much for us to bare. We can't do this. We can never change to a more evolved way of being from a state of believing that this change meant we are evil before. And that's what judgement ALWAYS does.

Discernment Is The Ultimate Mobilizing/Maturing Force:

Discernment is the ultimate mobilizing and aligning force.

Discernment is rooted in reality -

'*I* am inherently worthy of love, and capable of meeting my own needs/problem solving/ finding connection and peace, even in moments of pain or confusion. *I* am allowed to be in misalignment and still be provided for. My pain is not my fault. Your pain is not my fault in the sense that I am evil if I cause you or myself pain. I know I have flaws in my perception and always will. I know I have gaps in my understanding that lead me to act out of synch with reality thus causing pain. I know I always will. And that's ok. What matters is that I'm empowered to DO SOMETHING about that pain - witness it, understand it and then understand myself and reality better through it, so I can then choose to align in a way that causes less suffering and more joy.'

Discernment opens us up to change and growth, because it takes the fear out.

Then we are just left with cause and effect.

Pain or pleasure.

Evolution or destruction.

This is what we can work with.

When there is no fear around either pain or pleasure we are then free to actually consciously choose what is preferred, without there being guilt or a sense that we are 'admitting our evil nature' through this change.

Rather we are witnessing a growth opportunity that doesn't contest our fundamental connection to love.

In fact discernment takes us out of the never ending loop of pain that judgement traps us in. We get locked in judgement in defense or self blame - which stops us from being able to change that which is painful. Which is the fear inherent in judgement. Judgement is how we are attempting to protect ourselves from pain - judging others to defend before we interact or judging self thinking this will shift the pain we are in now. But when we judge we have no clarity on why the pain exists and again we immobilize ourselves through fear. So it is a never ending cycle. Discernment lifts is from the fear state and allows us to liberate ourselves for pain through reflection and change based on understanding where the pain was coming from and how to align with reality to serve our heightened pleasure.

Discernment sets us free to be ever evolving, aligning and in a state of more and more pleasure.

It allows us to experience pain without existential crisis.

It allows us to hear others in their pain and to witness and love and change where necessary.

It liberates us to see pain for what it is - a call to better understand reality and to change based on that understanding, knowing our worthiness is never at stake.

When we can change and feel better we liberate ourselves from the fear of pain itself.

We are not afraid of pain but afraid of being stuck in PAIN - suffering. We don't have to suffer if we can release the judgement surrounding pain.

When you love yourself inside of pain you liberate yourself from the shame cycles that necessitates your being trapped in it.

Then discernment can flow and you can align your mind, body and actions in ever evolving ways forever and ever. Riding the wave and staying in the centre all at once.

This Is The Love That Liberates:

This is love that liberates. We can change without admitting evil.

We can see others without seeing evil.

We can discern evolution from destruction with no moral value and thus ultimate freedom to choose evolution.

It's the key to the world we wish to see. We need to keep changing not because we are bad. Simply because we are misinformed that's all.

So call to reflect - when you are in pain or when someone else expressed their pain to you - where do you automatically look for the 'evil' in you or another? Where do you become trapped in shame and guilt? Where do you project and deny - looking yo validate your own goodness or their error in perception of you or the situation? Where are you not able to hold space for yourself or others in pain? Where do you judge others for their state/way of being as a way of protecting yourself from having to empathize with them and their pain? Where do you make pain mean you are wrong and thus bad? Where do you make change mean you were fundamentally flawed? Where can you bring love to the judging parts of you so as to find the pain and your way towards freedom within it?

Finally, the deeper you take this work - the deeper you are going to come to realize that ALL PAIN is rooted in misunderstanding, ALL ‘EVIL’ is rooted in misunderstanding, all acts of violence are rooted in misunderstanding. It ALL comes down to not seeing how reality works, and breaking the self against it (the self being humanity at large because ultimately we are all one.)

Finding Unity And Reality Through Discernment:

This is going to help you see that in YOURSELF you have never been evil. All your pain, addictions, negative emotions and so on were a RESULT of a perceptual misunderstanding of how reality works (what is required for your growth within the structure). You were always doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. The deeper you go into LOVE when you’re in pain, the quicker you release yourself from the bonds of your perception to be able to see reality clearer, so you can change to align with it - discernment.

This will then remove the capacity to see ANYONE as evil. Any act as evil. Any group as evil. Any thing as right or wrong - you will start to only see others who are misunderstanding. Who are wounded and in pain due to this misunderstanding and acting from this place. They are hurting others because they think they need to to survive. To thrive.

This will then start to help you see that in real reality there is no reward or punishment - humans created this. There is only cause and effect - pain from misalignment and pleasure from alignment. You will see alignment not as something to attain, but a perpetual path that will INCLUDE pain and misalignments as a learning tool. The pain you experience will stop being so painful because it won’t mean evil in you or others, and it won’t mean being trapped in suffering because you will know how to LEARN and CHANGE and make NEW CHOICES based on that pain.

There will not be lawlessness. No chaos or anarchy. Rather you will have a MUCH clearer view of the STRUCTURE - the systems of reality and what serves growth and what causes chaos. You will see your freedom to choose that which causes chaos and that which causes growth - and you will FEEL the difference between these two things in your senses. Your logic won't run the ship - but it will be used as a TOOL of feeling to keep you ever evolving. You will start to recognize yourself as part of the biology like all other living things - that which serves the evolution OVERALL is supported with life, who opposes it takes itself out. A cancer cell vs. one that works with the body. Eventually the cancer will destroy itself through destroying its host. Not right or wrong. Chaos that is eventually snuffed out by life. So it is with us. Without judgement you will be free to choose joy and evolution and this can't help but serve to aid in the liberation of ALL.

You will start to connect back to your FEELING and thus your HUMANITY - your connection to ALL THINGS - seeing that your actions result in your pain and pleasure, but at the same time you are baring the results of EVERYONE’S actions of alignment and misalignments - and this will cause you to become VERY sensitive to discerning where the true boundaries for you are, how you can ‘empower’ yourself in your life through your choices, where you can feel the pain of others and their choices without having to take responsibility or feel evil, you will start to see where you role in CHANGING THE SYSTEM for the betterment of all is, and where your work is to change yourself - as BOTH will be present. Not one or the other.

Then the lines between altruism and selfishness will blur. Because to do what is best for you is to do what’s best for all.It will seem selfish to hurt yourself as this hurts all. It will seem altruistic to follow what is truly right for you as this serves all. There will no longer be the binary ‘good and bad’ - good people being punished and bad people being rewarded, no looking to fix or save - your role will be to live your alignment, to stand for that alignment in the world and to support others in finding theirs. You will lose your capacity to judge, and at the same time GAIN your capacity to set clear and concise boundaries when others are in a state of not being able to shift their misalignments enough to stop causing you pain. You will have clarity on where this line is.

No evil. No right or wrong. No good or bad. Just alignment and misalignments and where you CHOOSE to be in YOURSELF.

DISCERNMENT - what do you want to do with what is arising, what is the highest evolution for you in whatever you are being presented with? You can’t control them, you can control you and the vote you vote with your time and energy. Where you spend your effort.

You being aligned will sometimes be in social action. sometimes in internal work. Sometimes in play. Sometimes in embracing and spending time with pain. ALL of it will have its pleasure when it’s the thing for you to be doing right now - and THAT is freedom from suffering. You will have joy in the pain when it’s helping you grow. Joy in the battles. Joy in the sorrow. Joy in the change. Joy in the things you cannot change.

THAT is a life without judgement.