Why We’re Programmed To Believe That Pain = Rejection = I Have To Fix Myself

Hi 🙂

Here's the deal;

If you've been doing your self awareness work for a while, there's a good chance that you're noticing two BIG triggers that push you into a state of feeling like there's something wrong with you, and like you need to fix yourself in some way.

The first one is when you perceive yourself to be being rejected - when you feel like someone specifically is rejecting you and telling you that you're bad OR when you feel like you did something that would make 'other people' disapprove of you even if they aren't there in the room actually rejecting you.

The second, is when you are in a state of PAIN that you don't really realize is pain OR that you don't know how to fix right away.

The first one may seem obvious - of COURSE when we feel like people aren't going to like us or when we feel like people don't like us we're going to look for what we did wrong and how we can fix it.

The second one may seem a little more convoluted - and in fact most of us don't even realize that this is something that's happening inside of us.

We don't actually make the connection between being in pain, and going into self help/self improvement.

We don't see that there is actually a deep, subconscious program at play here - one that was created in our very early years that's been present and running the show in our lives in ways we may not even see right now.

We aren't seeing that there's a wired in connection between being in PAIN and feeling like we're being rejected - and the knee-jerk reaction we have to figure out 'what we did wrong' in terms of straying from what's socially acceptable, so we can make the pain go away via becoming acceptable again.

We don't see how this obfuscates our capacity to find out what's ACTUALLY hurting and why, and how it obfuscates our ability to properly problem solve and make ourselves feel better.

This nervous system connection is one that's SUPER important to understand if we ever want to live lives where we feel like captable problem solvers - but it's one that I don't hear many people talking about.

So we're going to talk about it today.

Why the fear of being rejected triggers us so much, and why pain makes us FEEL like we're being rejected and thus that we need to fix ourselves. Which leads to us not being able to see the actual root causes of our pain, or to find the true solutions we seek.

There's so much to unpack here, so let's get to it.


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