YES – You May Be Causing Harm – NO – You’re Not Broken

Hello Lovely!

This is the biggest paradox on the self love path I know of.

The idea that we aren't broken, bad, wrong or otherwise defective - the fact that there is nothing to 'fix' about who or what we are coexisting with the objective observation that parts of us ARE causing harm. That parts of us are immature. That parts of us are seeing things incorrectly, getting triggered, engaging in behaviors that go against reality and cause damage.

For most, there is a swinging back and forth between thinking that 'self love' means NEVER changing anything - because if we aren't bad, wrong or broken, that must mean we are perfect and whole and complete just as we are - and feeling like there are things that MUST change because we are in pain/causing pain, and therefore we MUST have a broken/wrong/bad part that needs to be fixed.

Today I am going to attempt to clarify how this paradox works - I want to try to help us all understand how we can be objectively harmful, immature and incorrect about reality WITHOUT being broken. I'm going to carefully lay out what is ACTUALLY causing the destructive parts of you to be destructive, what's actually causing the immature parts of you to be immature, what's actually causing the perceptual missteps you have - so that you can understand that you are working from ADAPTATION and doing the best you could, never from there being something fundamentally wrong with you.

I'm going to try to offer a new perspective on these parts that DO need to change in order for you to be happy, so that you can see them with the compassion and love they deserve, and so that you can actually help them GROW.

No part of you is going to go away - all the 'bad' parts of you are going to be NURTURED and MATURED - not shrunken or destroyed.

This is a big one. Let's dive in.