Hello love!
Here’s your periodic, friendly reminder that anyone on the internet who’s trying to sell you a ‘I can teach you how to scale your online business to be making 7 figures a month via these energetic principals/ways of hacking the selling system’ or something to that effect - and their proof that they can teach you how to do this is the fact that they’ve made that much money selling a course on how to get rich online - you’re being duped.
I talk about this a LOT on my personal facebook page, but I wanted to put these thoughts into a blog here, because I know a lot of the people who read my work will resonate with the insecurities that come up around abundance, success and what it means to be living our purpose.
There are a LOT of wolves in sheep's clothing out there in the personal growth/development/spirituality worlds - and no where else is this MORE true than in the abundance teaching sphere.
So let's take a step back and really look at what we're being sold, so we can be sure we're getting something of quality rather than something that simply plays on our insecurities.
SO Much Of What's Being Sold In The Abundance Marketing World Is A LIE
Again, SO much of what we're being sold in the abundance/personal growth/entrepreneurial spaces just isn't in alignment with reality.
We're told over and over again that in order to be fulfilling our purpose, we need to be taking on a LEADERSHIP role - not working to create someone else's business, not working to build someone else's dream - but rather we need to be building OUR dream - and of course that dream MUST be connected to a BUSINESS because in capitalism purpose = your work. From there we're told that if we're really doing it right, we will be having WILD financial success as step into our business purpose. That if we aren't, this is due to some block or lack in us that must be removed/is due to some lack of awareness around how marketing and selling 'really' works.
Then, wouldn't you know it, these people who are telling you this are the very ones who HAVE the answers for how to remove the block/the secret answers to what it really takes to master success.
Now, first things first - the whole idea that to truly be 'on purpose' you must a) have a specific passion that you are b) turning into a business/vocation, and that that business must be making you enough money to live lavishly is a total scam in and of itself - this is all a capitalist lie that keeps many of us feeling like we're failing if we can't find a passion that can also be translated into an income.
The reality is, many of us DON'T have a singular passion/purpose that can be made into a business/vocation.
That is actually far more RARE than it is 'the rule.'
Yes, it's wonderful to find meaning and purpose in what you do. It's amazing to feel that what you do for money also means something to you. But this is NOT a prerequisite for a GOOD life, a life or purpose or a life of meaning. Many of us, in the system we have, will have to figure out some way of earning money that allows us to survive - and this may have nothing to do with what we care about.
Our system is NOT set up so that all of us can find FULFILLMENT in our work - and to think that you're failing at life if you don't find fulfillment at work is one way the system keeps itself going. Us not questioning this narrative keeps us blaming ourselves for general life dissatisfaction instead of questioning the stories we're being told about what purpose is and it keeps us from questioning the basic setup we have in capitalism that makes it literally impossible for people to find purpose in their work when they're just trying to survive.
Also it makes it sound like work IS life and that is something that's destroying us too. The fact that many of us don't really know what or who we are outside of the titles we have in our careers is a HUGE part of the reason so many of us feel empty, and then keep looking to the system and all the things it sells us for answers. Answers that can't be found in the system. We are asked to deny our humanity and ALL the complexity of what makes a human life feel GOOD in order to fit into this bubble of work being what defines us and our lives.
YOU, living your life IS your purpose.
There is no ONE thing that defines a life of purpose and again, the whole idea that purpose must be monetized is total B.S
Even if you have a passion, and that passion is a career, this won't satisfy you because this is just ONE element of life.
Satisfaction comes from the depth and breadth of our human experience, and what can be consumed and produced are such SMALL pieces of this in context.
Please remember that. Your life is not your work. There's more to life, passion and purpose than what can be produced and consumed.
Second, not everything in our lives can our SHOULD be monetized.
Not everything should be turned over to the production/consumption machine. Not every part of our humanity should be monetized - and in fact I believe this idea that everything of value SHOULD have a MONETARY value is the REASON so many of us feel so unfilled and burnt out all the time.
When we don't have other areas of our lives we're investing in, when we're neglecting our bodies, our relationships, our sense of wonder and play, the parts of us that want to develop spiritually, the parts of ourselves that need play, rest and relaxation, we are ALWAYS going to feel unsatisfied, no matter how much success we're having in our careers. No matter how aligned we are in our vocation, it can't ever make up for a lack of fulfillment in all the other aspects of life.
Again here we see that in order to be able to pursue a whole life that will feel purposeful, we need a certain level of security. We need a certain level of safety - otherwise this pursuit is going to me MUCH harder. Not impossible, but more challenging. There will simply be less time and space for these other explorations. Our system isn't set up to support everyone in having the basic necessities so that these other aspects of our humanity can be explored - and this is another reason we get caught in loops of feeling like WE are failing if we're not finding purpose in career, and why we keep turning to work to try to fill ourselves.
It's the only socially acceptable form of self actualization AND it's what we HAVE to invest in heavily in order to survive or to FIND these other aspects of self.
If you can't monetize it, the world says it's not really valuable. This is a HUGE problem and it keeps us on the hamster wheel.
There's more to your life than can be monetized and the fact that that more is often unaccessible to people due to the fact that capitalism isn't set up to give everyone an equal chance to explore these things is a problem.
Third, purpose doesn't work this way.
Every individual has many purposes in their lives. True purpose isn't a 'thing' you do - it's a life lived. It's everything that happens to us. It's everything we learn, feel and experience. Purpose in a human life changes as we change. The idea that we are all supposed to have ONE thing that we DO that is our PASSION (forever?) that we can also sell tot he world - this is so incredibly limiting and just deeply, deeply untrue.
Again, right from the beginning, these marketing strategies that tell you to find your passion, to monetize that passion and that you're not doing life right, you're not really playing big enough, you're not really stepping into your destiny if you AREN'T doing this ONE thing, are total bullshit.
Your life purpose is your entire life.
You may or may not have a passion that's ONE thing.
This passion never, ever has to be something you turn into a career.
Even if you DO turn your passion into a career - this still doesn't mean that you will have success in our current capitalist structure.
Remember, our current capitalist structure doesn't necessarily value what's of ACTUAL value. Not everything is equally valued.
Not Everything That Is Of Value Will Be Valued In Our System:
You may be doing EXACTLY what lights you up, and then doing ALL the marketing things to get that thing out there - and still NEVER see massive monetary success. This just isn't how the world works.
Our current market economy MOSTLY celebrates ie. rewards with tonnes of cash, that which is flashy, trending, distracting, quick and easy, full of fake promises, stimulating, depressing, and that otherwise is based on the idea that having/doing/being a part of the thing will give you societal clout and therefore seeming safety and provision.
So if what you're selling isn't one of those things, it doesn't matter how aligned it is with YOU as an individual, chances are it's not going to sell all that well.
Then even IF what you're selling IS one of the above things, it still has to compete with all the OTHER products and services that are like what you're offering.
Then on top of that, at the end of the day, there's already a set hierarchy in our market place.
Those who already have capital to put into their business, those who look and speak a certain way, those who have access to certain contacts - this all plays a huge role.
Just because you have something you're passionate about, that's good quality, that people may want again doesn't mean you're going to be offered the right opportunities to get your offering off the ground.
So again, to believe that we have to find a singular passion, that we then turn into a job, that we then make boatloads of money offering - is incredibly limiting and painful because for MOST people this is never going to be a reality.
Please know that in our capitalist structure, it's not the norm that we find a passion and then successfully monetize that passion.
It's not required for personal growth or spiritual fulfillment to find a passion we turn into our job.
It's not a personal failing to have your income be something you do for survival, and the rest of your life is filled with things you enjoy that are just for you.
It's not wrong to not have a 'thing' that is your passion. For your life to be lived to be lived - in all it's phases.
You're not doing anything wrong if you're just making ends meet, trying to survive in our system. If you don't feel like you have passion or purpose other than providing for yourself and those you love every day.
Our system isn't set up to support all of us in 'self actualizing' by finding a PURPOSE - nor do I think this is actually a necessity for all people to feel like they lived a life well.
Our system isn't set up to support everyone in having enough to even consider what their passions may be. Or to expand into other areas of their lives because they don't have the time or resources to do so. These explorations aren't actually accessible to all of us.
Our system doesn't celebrate everything that is 'authentic' or does it value offerings based on their actual capacity to improve our lives in any real way.
THIS is the reality.
So again, the entire premiss that we should all be having a passion we can monetize or turn into a career - either a solo career or a career where we're working for someone else - is a lie. The idea that our lives SHOULD revolve around our WORK is a lie. The idea that we aren't living our fullest lives if we aren't monetizing a singular passion is a lie. The idea that we all have a singular PURPOSE is a lie.
Thus, the entire foundations that this abundance coaching market place is built on isn't aligned with reality and if you don't fit into the very narrow box of what they are preaching 'success' to be - please know that you're not failing in any way.
They are making up a fiction.
If you DO have a passion that you DO want to monetize - that's great. But this doesn't mean you're going to have success in our current system and that lack of success is NOT a reflection of YOUR worth or value. Your playing big or small. Your stepping into your purpose or not. It has more to do with what's hot right now, what aligns with what people want/think they want, what's hitting a nerve and what's flashy. Your offering may be of great quality AND meet one of these standards for market success - and that's fantastic! But if it doesn't again this doesn't always mean you're doing something wrong.
Sometimes what we have to offer just isn't going to be HUGE. You can be playing full out, doing your best, 100% on purpose in your own life and still not be making oodles of cash.
This isn't a failure.
Please know that.
Life is complex. Reality is complex. Our systems are complex. There's no one right way, and a lot of finding happiness is in simply getting honest about who and what we are, what we want to do, what we're willing to do, what we're not willing to do and finding a way to balance that in the systems that exist around us. This is no easy task and there's no cookie cutter solution for all of us.
We're individuals and success is going to look different on all of us.
Remember that.
If you are someone who has managed to monetize your passion - again this is NOT a bad thing and I am no way discrediting how amazing this is, and how fulfilling it can be. But it will never be enough to FULFILL you. Career is only one part of it.
Our capitalist society makes making enough money so difficult, that many of us feel like it's the only thing we have time to focus on - and this is a problem.
Career shouldn't have to be our entire world - either for social clout or for survival.
This Doesn't Mean ALL Of What's Being Sold In The Success Coaching World Is A Sham:
Now, if you ARE someone who works in the online space or feels like working in the online space/entrepreneur space is RIGHT for YOU - that's awesome! If you're not having the success you feel like you could be having, that too is something to explore. I am in no way wanting to discourage looking for marketing coaches and others who can help you strategize and offer yourself in the best way possible. You deserve to have the tools to set yourself up for the best chance of success if that's something you feel fits the lifestyle you want to live. Working for yourself or monetizing a passion isn't for everyone. If it is for you - that's awesome!
Remember this pieces is not trying to say that good marketing teachers don’t exist or that there aren’t tried and true things that need to be in place to set ourselves up for success in an online business space. Most of us aren’t going to have that special THING that means we don’t have to market, don’t have to focus on our branding, don’t have to figure out our ideal customer and how to speak to them and so on. Most of us are going to have to do the unsexy, slow work required to build a name for oneself in the online space.
This IS to say that right now, a LOT of us really want to escape the system.
A lot of us really WANT to believe that we can have financial freedom doing something we LOVE or doing something that requires very little of us.
We all want to believe in the dream of location independence, financial freedom and a career that lights our soul on fire or whatever we’re saying now a days.
I get it.
Working in the system can be really hard and the soul sucking. It can require so much and give so little in return. Many of us who already have online businesses find that it’s really hard. That sales are slow, and having to wear ALL or most of the hats of a company is fucking HARD. We figure there must be something we’re missing or doing wrong that we’re not making as much as all the boss babes/bro’s out there seem to be making.
Thus, when we’re told that we can easily learn a few tricks that will radically change the way we can generate and income for ourselves - we are primed to believe it.
But the real reality is - most of these people who are selling courses around how to make money online, made their money from selling a course promising that they can help you make money online.
A.k.a - they don’t actually know how to teach YOU how to make money online - unless YOUR BUSINESS is also telling people you can help them learn to sell things online.
These people perhaps ARE making a shit tonne of money. They likely DO have the receipts to prove that they are finding success in what they’re doing and thus have the authority to speak on this.
But again we have to think this through.
They are selling a thing that literally everyone wants and is willing to believe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alright friends, let's take a break here and come back for part two next week!
<3
[…] If you missed it, please do read part one of this post here. […]