If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve been called an ‘empath’, an ‘old soul’, ‘sensitive’ or some other variation of the above terms.
You’ve been told that you have something special that you need to give to the world, or perhaps you’ve simply felt for a long time that what you’ve been through is a life experience that has taught you some really important lessons in healing, health, growth and finding truth - and you want to share that with the world around you.
Perhaps you have always felt like you have something you need to give to the world. Maybe you’ve gone through something in your later years that has inspired you to want to give the wisdom you’ve gleaned to others so that they don’t have to suffer how you have.
Whatever the case - I want to celebrate you and let you know how truly special it is that you’re the kind of person that wants to leave something positive behind in your wake. This is an incredibly important characteristic to have in our world today, and the fact that YOU have it means something.
This world is better with you in it, and I hope you are told that more often than not.
From here, with this desire to help the world, you may then be left wondering what *exactly* you’re supposed to do. How can you best use your skills and understandings to serve others?
Perhaps there is a part of you that looks out at the world and sees all the chaos, all the mess, all the plethora of problems we have as a society and feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what the BEST way to help is.
Perhaps you feel frustrated that there are many people who you KNOW could use your help, who could really benefit from what you know - that are seemingly unable/unwilling to really listen to you or take in what you’re saying.
Maybe you feel that there is a massive burden on you to save or help EVERYONE, and you feel overwhelmed about exactly how to go about doing that.
Perhaps there is a sense that you have THE ANSWER and there’s a deep feeling of urgency that if you can’t disseminate it fast enough, that you’re failing somehow.
Finally, there may be a part of you that feels like if you don’t get out there and do this, that no one else is going to. That the world needs you and it feels all very overwhelming and chaotic. Perhaps you feel like there is a time limit and that you’re behind given how much people out there are struggling and suffering.
If you resonate with any of the above, then I want you to keep reading. Hopefully this article can help you feel a little more grounded in what you are here to do, and hopefully it can give you some pointers in terms of figuring out an actual action plan that you can take to get your message out there, without burning yourself out or harming yourself in the process - which is actually VERY common for people who want to help the world.
First Things First:
Before you start trying to figure out what you’re going to do to save the world/help others, it’s my opinion that we must lay some healthy foundations.
What I mean by this is: We need to establish a realistic yet hopeful view of where our actual power is in terms of helping others, what is actually sustainable for us and in developing a grounded perspective of how much responsibility we actually hold in terms of helping to make the world a better place.
I know that it can really feel like we MUST get out there and fix things. It can feel deeply overwhelming to look at the amount of suffering that is occurring out there, and to feel like we DO have solutions and like we need to help/change/fix everyone.
I know it can feel like there is this massive weight on your shoulders, and also like if you aren’t able to get out there and DO something about the pain that you see, that you may feel like you’re wasting your life, not ‘doing it right’ or otherwise failing on some level.
I know it can feel like we have to do this PERFECTLY or else - and this can be something that drives us to over-extend ourselves OR it can be something that leads us to never really taking a step in the direction of actually taking action, because that pressure is just so all encompassing that it blocks us from being able to see our steps and where we fit.
So I want to remind you of some very important things that I feel are incredibly important to ground ourselves in before we even attempt to be a helper - or to help us re-orient ourselves if we are already ‘in the work’ so to speak and feeling burnt out, overwhelmed or like we aren’t doing good enough:
You’re Not The Only One: Saving the world isn’t your job. The world isn’t going to be changed because one or two special people did something HUGE and important and changed everything. Rather, we have to realize that we are a part of a collective - and there are many, many more people out there who care and who are offering themselves in some way, shape or form to support others.
Our world is very complex, and none of us have ‘the answer’ to what’s going to solve all of our issues. Rather, as each one of us does just what WE can do, as each one of us works in the field that calls to us, as each one of us offers what we have to offer to those closest to us or that we can reasonably access without overreaching - we accomplish the task.
It’s not all on you.
You aren’t going to save the world.
You aren’t going to reach everyone.
You aren’t going to fix everything.
That is the reality and the good news is - you don’t have to. All you have to do is play YOUR PART and that is enough - because you are a part of a community of people all over the world who are using their skills to support in ALL areas of life where people need support.
I know and fully acknowledge that it’s easy to look around and feel like it’s not enough. Like people are drowning and not being helped fast enough. But again, you are just one person. You can’t do it all and you can save everyone. By doing what you CAN do, you demonstrate a path that is reasonable - and this is then going to help others see that when THEY want to help they too can just do what they can - and when ALL of us are doing that, the job gets done.
There Is No Perfect Way: Next, I want to remind you that there is no perfect way to help. There is no ideal way. No matter what you do, there are going to be people who don’t vibe with what you have to offer. There are going to be people that you can’t help. There are going to be places where you don’t have the requisite skills or understanding to be of service in an effective way. There are going to be times and places where you DO fail to support someone - and all of this is normal. All of this is reality. None of it means you’re failing, not doing good enough or should be doing something else. What it means is - this world is complex.
There is no perfect help and there are no perfect answers.
We are all stumbling and fumbling our way forward - and that is all we can ever really do.
Also know that as you PRACTICE offering what you have to offer now, as you actually go out there and get experience - you’re going to figure things out. You’re going to refine your skills. You’re going to refine your awareness of who you can best serve and how to best serve those specific people. You are going to see that you can’t help everyone, but that you CAN get really good at helping the people you CAN help. Your message is never going to apply to everyone at all times and that’s ok. It doesn’t have to.
Because you’re not alone and you’re not the only one out there!
Make space for your offering to be what it is, for yourself to learn and grow as you practice and to acknowledge that perfection isn’t how we are going to make positive change. Progress is going to be messy, and that includes you and what you have to offer. There is no perfect way, there’s just what you are capable of right now - which will increase and grow as you practice.
Burning Yourself Out Doesn’t Do Anyone Any Good: Next, over extending yourself, trying to help everyone, doing your best to show up for EVERY person who calls on you, feeling like you ‘owe’ the world and that taking time for yourself is selfish or wrong - these are all messages that you may have been fed by religion or other spiritual paths that are highly toxic and not true.
I want to remind you today that you are a person.
You are a person who COUNTS and your life matters just as much as the life of anyone else.
You are not here to sacrifice yourself for a cause - because again when you do that, you actually REMOVE one of the players who is out there doing the good work.
It is so important that you develop a deep sense of self love and self respect as you venture out into the world looking to make it a better place - because when you don’t I promise you there will be people out there who are willing to take advantage of your kindness and willingness to help. There will be people out there who pull at your heart-strings who really aren’t ready or able to take the steps THEY need to take to heal or get better - who will constantly take from you in a way that isn’t helping either of you.
If we are going to do this work effectively, we must understand that it’s the LONG GAME that matters.
We don’t want to be the kind of people who get into helping others, quickly burn out and then have to quit and give up. We don’t want to be pouring our energies into people who aren’t willing/ready to do the work they need to do to move forward - because YOU are not the source of anyone’s healing.
You are here to offer tools, guidance and support for a path that people are choosing, for themselves, to walk.
You are not the reason someone is or isn’t going to heal. You are just a guide.
Having strong boundaries and learning when enough is enough for you is SO vital if you really want to do this work and do it in the long term. If you want to build your capacity over time vs. getting more and more burnt out and jaded. Self sacrifice doesn’t help the people you are trying to help because it fosters a relationship of dependence not true healing, and it doesn’t serve YOU.
You are more than your mission.
You are more than your offerings. You are a whole human with a whole life that matters and needs to be taken into account. Nobody wins when you lose my love. So if there is a tendency in you to overdo it, to let people take advantage of you and feelings of guilt or shame when you take time for yourself - please take a step back and work on that first. In order to be effective, you MUST have strong boundaries and a reasonable view of your capacity and you must respect these things. Otherwise we just create a cycle of dependence, pain and suffering that isn’t effective or healing.
There Is No Ultimate Answer: Whatever you have to offer is only a piece of the puzzle. It’s not the whole thing, it’s not for everyone, and not everyone you work with is going to get it. And that is totally and completely OK. That is just reality. What you have to offer is for a specific set of people at a specific place in their lives - and that is enough. That is good enough. That is MORE than good enough.
A lot of the time we can get into a state of believing that what we have to offer would literally be THE THING that would make the WHOLE WORLD better - and it may be true to a degree! It’s possible that the answer you have, if widely applied, WOULD make a massive difference - but at the end of the day we must respect that this just isn’t how reality works.
There are many, many issues on our planet today. And there is no perfect healing - only progress towards better.
What you have to offer WILL help SOME people - and that’s all you need to focus on. Don’t fall into the trap that EVERYONE needs to hear your message - because I promise you that even if they did, many people are simply not at a place where they would even be able to apply it. And that’s ok. Focus on the people you can serve, on the people who your message IS for, and know that that’s enough.
You Can’t MAKE Anyone Heal/Do Better: Finally the reality is, just as we talked about above - you are not going to be THE REASON someone does or doesn’t heal.
You can’t make anyone ready.
You can’t take anyone from where they are to where they want to go if they don’t have the foundations upon which to climb the mountain with you.
Not everyone who hears your message is going to understand - and there are going to be times and places where you are going to be deeply convinced that if you just tried harder, explained it differently, did more, engaged more, gave more - that you could penetrate whatever blocks people have and get them to that ‘breakthrough’ moment.
But the truth is - this isn’t reality. People are going to get it when they get it. People are going to be ready when they’re ready. You may not be the person who is going to see the actual journey take place with someone - you may be the person who plants a seed that will germinate and be supported by someone else somewhere down the life.
Some people who come to you may simply NEVER be ready for the full meal deal of what you have.
Some people are going to be stuck in their limited paradigms forever and there’s nothing we can do about it. Some people aren’t going to be ready/willing to do the work THEY need to do to change their lives - no matter how much love, support and resources you offer. And that is just how this works.
You can’t make anyone do this, you can’t make anyone ready, and you can’t make it easy enough so that everyone can get it.
You can only offer what you have to offer in the most loving and supportive way YOU can - and if the people you are working with are ready for it - they will do what they need to do.
If they keep asking you for more, if they aren’t able to do their part, if they keep falling back into old ways of being and thinking - this is not a sign to push harder. This is a sign to just meet them where THEY are at - and to do your best with that. To keep offering the beginner tools and safe space, or to let them know that they need to take what you’ve already given them and live it for a while before you are willing to work with them again.
There’s no forcing anyone, and that’s not your job.
It’s not your job to decide when someone is ready or when they ‘should’ heal. That is their path.
You just offer your tools, and let it be what it is. Remember - people ultimately heal themselves. We just offer a safe space and tools.
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Alright, that’s enough for one post!
Take some time to digest this, and I will see you next week for part two!
<3
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