How Do We ACTUALLY Break Free From Diet Culture?


If you missed them, you can read:

Part One

Part Two

Now let's wrap this baby up!


The Influencer Promises A False Reality That Keeps Us Trapped In Diet Culture

The influencer represents the promise of a slightly better, slightly shiner, attainable ‘relatable’ ‘after’. The influencer economy is all about selling us ourselves - who we wish we were - through products, services and lifestyles that all fit within the confines of capitalism and consumer culture.

Influencers these days, again, are all about being ‘imperfectly perfect.’ They are all about being ‘real.’ They show us their fights with their partners. They show us their ‘struggles’ with mindset. They show us their curated vulnerability that makes us feel like we’re connecting with them.

They make us feel like we’re being seen as they reflect back to us all those things we’ve been believing are ‘wrong’ with us for so long. They expose all those little idiosyncrasies that we’ve been trained NEVER to reveal about ourselves. They make us feel like we’re not alone, like we’re relating and like we’re being understood. They set us free from the boxes of society that we all live in - where we have to present in ways that are deeply inauthentic in order to ‘fix in’ and have success.

Because the reality is we live in a world where humans aren’t allowed to be human.

Our actual relationships rarely have true depth because we’ve been trained to FIT IN vs. to actually relate to one another. 

We’ve also been brainwashed into believing that having things, status, clout and access ARE the same thing as having peace, love, contentment and purpose.

We’ve been brainwashed into the idea that ‘success’ is just a matter of hard work. That if you’re struggling in our system, this is a mindset failure. A personal willpower failure. That this is because you’re not trying hard enough. You haven’t found your purpose yet. You’re not praying to the right spirits. You haven’t taken the right course.We’ve been brainwashed into believing that these relationships that are all based on selling someone's relatability to make you feel CONNECTED to them so that you will essentially try to BUY their friendship via joining the downlines/programs or through wearing, consuming and believing what they believe are a substitute for real, one to one human connection.

We’re all struggling under the weight of capitalism, a system that is essentially the world's LARGEST pyramid scheme, where those at the top have been at the top forever via their hoarding of and passing down of wealth and through the exploitation of the workforce to create an inflated sense of value or goods and services we DO need to survive. We’re all drowning under the false reality that the market IS THE THING that will save us from ‘not enough’, existential dread and the awareness that ‘stuff’ isn’t the answer to what it means to be alive. We’re struggling under a social system that has us all pretending to be things we aren’t to try to earn love, leaving us feeling more and more alone, disconnected and hopeless.

We deeply BELIEVE that if we could just ‘fit in better’ - if we could live up to beauty standards better, if we could have the right jobs, if we could have the right things, if we could find the right ways of living in general - that in THIS we will find true peace and happiness. That this is how we will soothe the fears of being alive and vulnerable, and that this is what will give us meaning, purpose and value.

So when the influencer who gives us that para-social taste of connection tells us that the REASON they have the body we want, the love we want, the spirituality we want, the job we want, the freedom we want is BECAUSE of their protein powder, coaching program, mindset and or their leggings - we’re primed to believe them. We’re primed to believe it really was the product that gave them the results AND we’re primed to believe that those results ACTUALLY gave them happiness - both of which are often a total lie.

We feel connected to them in ways we don’t feel connected to anyone in our real reality.

We feel validated by them in ways we don’t feel validated by those around us or culture at large. 

We feel that we too can ‘become like them’ because they aren’t SO FAR off of what we already are - we see ourselves in them in ways we can’t see ourselves in the ultra wealthy.

We’ve been primed to believe that success is a matter of ‘trying hard’ and finding your ‘place’ in the market economy.

We’ve been primed to believe that peace comes from THINGS - that we can buy our way to feeling settled via goods, services and anything else the market economy can offer us.

They’re selling us hot air for the most part - but it FEELS like exactly what we want, and it fits PERFECTLY into the boxes of what we EXPECT the answers we’re looking for to fit into. They literally go round and round - selling us the ‘solution’ to their problem, promising us that this solution gave them ULTIMATE bliss - then in 6 months they come back with that ‘relatable share’ of how they’ve been struggling with the same thing they sold us the solution for 6 months ago, only NOW they’ve REALLY found the solution in this NEW THING. And we buy it. Only to have them come back in another 6 months with a new ‘relatable struggle share’ and the new, shiny solution. Over and over. Round and round. Forever and ever.

We Are Not Like Influencers Any More Than We're Like The Super Wealthy

We don’t see that these influencers aren’t where they are simply because they are a ‘normal person just like us’ who worked hard and discovered a secret we don’t have.

These people are there for the same reason celebrities are where they are.

They REPRESENT youth, beauty, time freedom, connection, transcendence and joy via having consumed and produced the right things.

They never actually transcend or have the perfect lives they sell - because if they did, what would they sell? This market doesn’t support an ACTUAL solution (and real life doesn't really have ‘afters’ - only progress) - they constantly have to have a NEW THING to sell in order to keep making money, which means they HAVE to keep having a relatable problem. They can’t ever actually have what they are saying they have otherwise they’d put themselves out of businesses. They have to sell simple, easy to understand solutions to big complex issues - because that makes us feel like we are only ONE step from BLISS just like them. They can’t ever acknowledge systems, complex solutions or the system itself - because that wouldn’t sell.

They ARE the very market economy that’s crushing us - painted as the solution to the market economy that’s crushing us.

They are where they are because corporations sponsor them. Big publishing companies will publish their simple, one to one solutions. They fit into beauty standards/the rebellion from beauty standards. They’re sellable. They’re simple.

They’re fake. Even with all their vulnerability and authenticity. 

It's this giant loop of media controlling who is featured and how they’re featured, so that they will sell to us what corporations are selling.

The mindsets the corporations are selling that keep us consuming and producing in ways that never, ever challenge and only serve to reinforce the system.

The influencer has to come across like their solutions to life are all encompassing but also not that complicated. They have to present a very specific, easy to follow ‘secret’. They have to be just like us but only 20% better. They have to be marketable. They have to work for corporations. Because even if they aren’t selling a ‘product’ other than their own programs and courses - instagram, youtube, facebook and all other social media sites where they GET all their business are corporations that HAVE to support them. They have to fit the mold.

The mold that’s literally killing us.

Kelly has an impossible to sustain and maintain figure for MOST people - she eats an incredibly limited but nutrient dense and exceptionally expensive diet - the one way to sneak around eating so little so you stay thin, without your bones literally disintegrating as you age. And her figure HAS to be out of reach for most people, so that we will then internalize that 'failure' as a some sort of flaw in US, that we will then try to 'fix' by - you guessed it! - buying what the celebrity then SELLS to us as the 'secret' to their success. She is where she is because she’s rich, and because all the people SHE employ depend upon her looking how she looks. She has a whole team of people that are PAID to keep her looking how she looks. The corporations that own her pay for her body.

Did you notice that the ‘what I eat in a day’ thing was an ad for a supplements company she's clearly affiliated with?

Or how Jeniffer Lopez now sells skin care?

The fact that we get so mad when the REALITY of what it ACTUALLY takes to achieve a figure like Kellys is a sign that we’re being brainwashed.

Every instagram celebrity who has a body like hers is going to tell you it’s easy. Just follow my basic nutrition program and my lifting guide and you too will look like me.

They never tell you that being in the body their in is THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. It’s their career. It’s what they do with all of their time.

The polarity teachers sell you their programs on how to create the perfect relationship without disclosing that they don’t have full time jobs, children, houses to look after and a whole life that makes their ‘solution’ to connection totally impossible for most people.

The ‘time freedom’ guru who’s selling that they can teach you how to up-level your business so that you work only for yourself and make millions just like they do, isn’t telling you that the REASON they have all that time freedom in their business is because they are selling the idea that they can make people rich. They don’t actually know how to run a business. They are rich because they are selling the dream that they can make people rich and people want to believe that so badly they don’t do the basic vetting required to see that this person doesn’t actually KNOW how to run a real business. 

The vast majority of influencers are being supported by parents or spouses with ‘real jobs.’

They aren’t like you. 

The products they sell are NOT the reason they have the lives they have, any more than the supplements Kelly sells or the skincare that J-Lo sells are the reason they look how they do - but we sure want to believe they are, and we want to believe that if we just eat like them and move like them and supplement like them and skin care like them we too could be desirable - and for what? So that corporations can use us to sell things?

What we REALLY want - the safety, security, inclusion and access that wealth can provide won’t be ours through LOOKING like a celebrity or influencer. But we’re not connecting those dots. We’re just feeling fear, being told the product or job will make us fit in, and that that will equal fulfillment and soothing of our fear.

Most influencers do the exact same thing. They represent this 'carefree' idealized lifestyle, are then sponsored by lifestyle companies/create their 'challenges and programs' to then sell to us the idea that we can 'buy' our way into what they are, when in fact they are where they are because of genetics, time, money and privilege we will never have. The discipline is such a small, small part of it.

Kelly is a product of diet culture. 

She perpetuates it because she has to to keep her job.

She perpetuates an ideal that’s not possible in our system.

Most people will never have the LIFESTYLE that’s required to have what these influencers and celebrities have.

Most people have to work two jobs to make ends meet. Have to care for children full time. Have full time careers. Have family obligations. Are drowning in a system that demands WAY too much of them. Most people don’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth to do all that’s required to have a perfect relationship or body or career because just to keep our heads above water in the system means we have to spend half of our time doing shit we don’t want to do, and the other half of the time trying to COPE with pain of doing all that shit we don’t want to do.

We’re not eating poorly, disconnected in our relationships, numbing, scapegoating, addicted or self sabotaging because we have ‘the wrong mindset.’ For most of us, it’s coming down to trying to survive in a system that’s toxic where we weren’t given any REAL tools to make life good for ourselves.

It’s not to say that we can’t improve our lives via diet, relationship, self love and other changes. It’s not to say that NOTHING that is sold by influencers can help us. Not at all. There are MANY things we CAN do that really WILL improve our communication, our health, our mental state - but again, we have to be aware that these things usually aren’t flashy, they aren’t ‘miracles’ and they aren’t going to make our lives perfect. What ACTUALLY works is usually simple steps that don’t sell well in our market economy. 

There’s no secret. It’s just habits over time, and also it’s learning to check out of the systems as much as we can, where we can, how we can, so we can reclaim our actual humanity.

We don't value human life as human life and THAT'S the problem.

What we actually want can’t be ‘sold’ to us.

When we take a step back and realize all of this, we’re likely to be overwhelmed at first. And that’s ok.

Learning to see through the lies is a lot.

But that’s where you have the power to find solutions that are actual solutions.

True spirituality that allows us to deal with what will be the chronic existential reality of being alive, rather than looking for the ‘thing’ that will help us transcend.

Realizing that our human bodies are complex and that the best thing to do is to show up for the body we ACTUALLY have, learn to love that, and then support it the best we can.

Learning how to connect to who WE are, so we can connect with others in a more genuine way in real life.Learning that career and vocation will NEVER fulfill us on a deep level/be our whole purpose -  and navigating how we can do our BEST to have a job that pays the bills and feels like something meaningful, without ever blaming ourselves if work just sucks under capitalism.

Learning to take our time back where we can, our space back, to buy less so we can have more time freedom instead of trying to maintain a lifestyle that demands that we have to work harder than is actually required for a good life.

Learning that things will never make us happy beyond having ENOUGH - finding our enough and not believing that more is better.

It’s a lot.

But it’s doable.

One step at a time.

Kelly isn’t the problem. She isn’t obsessive or not obsessive.

Her lifestyle has nothing to do with her personality or personal ethos.

She’s a product of the machine.

Just as most influencers are a product of the machine.

Inflated value of goods, brainwashing of what is and isn’t valuable. Disconnection via feeling like we can’t be ourselves if we want to be safe, that leads to incredible vulnerability when people sell us ‘connection’ via products and services. Para-social relationships that give us validation we don’t have in real life. Simple solutions to complex problems. The dream of transcendence.

It’s all the machine.

Can we see this?


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