How Do We Embrace The Experience Of Being Human?

Hello Beauty!

Over the next two weeks, I'd like to explore something that I've been witnessing in the spirituality community for almost as long as I've been IN the spirituality community.

The idea that SO many of our spiritual practices are born from the desire to dissociate from the human experience, rather than being designed around supporting us in managing our human condition.

I've witnessed that a LOT of what spirituality has been for a long time and currently is to this day, is a network of teachings and practices that are all attempting to take us OUT of the human experience into some transcended state of permanent bliss.

I believe that this way of trying to escape reality, believing that a 'heaven on earth' experience is what we CAN and SHOULD be moving towards if we're really doing our spiritual work correctly - actually sets us up to suffer MORE than those who aren't on a spiritual path at all.

I'm not saying ALL spirituality is trying to deny reality, nor am I suggesting that there are no elements of some spiritual linages that embrace the realities of being human. I simply want to explore those that are outright rejecting our human reality - and how this hurts us more than it helps us.

The promise of a perfect heaven if we do our spirituality correctly is driving us to have MORE pain than if we were to accept the reality of pain on this earth, and then developed tools for processing that pain.

Let's explore this together and see how we go.

Resisting Being Human Being Sold As Spirituality:

Something I’ve noticed in the spirituality/self help/personal growth space is the massive resistance we humans have to…being human.

In other words, it appears to me that SO much of our spirituality/personal growth work is centered around trying to TRANSCEND the human experience, trying to escape pain, trying to achieve some sort of perfection, so that we no longer feel we’re at risk of suffering, loss, pain or death.

Much of what I see being taught in terms of spirituality is centered around the ideas of transcending emotions.

Transcending fear.

Transcending doubt.

Transcending the ‘lower self’ so that we can be continually in a state of maturity and poise.

Transcending having needs, wants or desires. Transcending any kind of attachment.

Transcending having a human personality.

Transcending identification with anything or anyone.

Transcending reacting to pain.

There’s a constant underlying expectation that our spirituality is supposed to be delivering us from many of the human experiences we find unpleasant rather than helping us to manage and work through those challenging experiences. 

Many of the promises of our spiritual practices revolve around the idea that if we just do the right things, earnestly enough, at the right times, we will achieve some perfect blissful state of mind that can’t be interrupted by anything that may happen in our reality. That if we’re ‘really’ doing our spiritual practices right we should be becoming the kind of person who never suffers, never judges, never loses touch with the fact that we are all one and all connected to all things and who constantly has emotional equanimity. That we will become clear on our purpose and destiny, constantly be living in alignment with that, will be fully connected to our intuition/higher guidance and that only abundance and good experiences will flow into our reality.

There’s a promise of a heaven we can experience in our 3D reality that never breaks.

Then with this, there’s a subtle or not so subtle messaging that if we AREN’T experiencing the above things, that this means we’re doing something wrong. That our Ego is in the way. That we’re focusing on the wrong things. That we’re not doing our practices well enough. That we’re not doing the right practices. That we aren’t pure enough yet. Not cleansed enough. Not pleasing enough.

There are many teachings out there that tell us that if we get our minds/thoughts/focus just right, if we can learn to control our emotional state (as if that’s a thing…) to the point of always being in a ‘high vibration’, if we can make sure that we speak, breathe, move and sleep in a state of constant focus on what we want/how we want to feel/positivity - that THIS will cause the ‘universe’ to reflect back to us only positive experiences. That we will then be able to 'take right action' and totally transform ourselves if we need to. That we will know what our next steps are, how to take them, and that we will get positive results as we take those steps.

We’re being told that it’s our internal state that is dictating our entire life experience, that the reality we walk around in is simply one giant mirror for what’s going on inside of our beings and that if we can learn to become conscious of and then consciously in control of our inner state, that the external then MUST reflect back to us only that which we desire. Or if we change our inner state enough this will change our external actions and these new actions will ALWAYS lead to better outcomes. We’re told that we can literally ‘manifest’ anything we want and get rid of anything we don’t want purely by switching our focus/feelings. Of course some teach that this then leads to ‘inspired action’ which will take us in the direction of these new lives with these new, better experiences - but that too suggests that ALL of life is within our control to some degree, and that if anything painful or negative is happening to us, that we are the cause and that we can and should be doing something to change it.

There’s a heavy emphasis on the idea that any of our self sabotaging, scapegoating, addictive and otherwise seemingly harmful behaviour and thought patterns is a sign of a moral or spiritual failing, that again we must work hard to overcome.

We’re told that these parts of ourselves that are causing destruction in our lives are the broken, bad, weak, immature, egoic, inherently evil parts of us, and that we must use our spirituality and personal growth to overcome them. We’re often told that these parts need to be subdued. That we must use will and discipline to resist them. That we must learn to disidentify with these parts/behaviors so that we can instead identify with better, more appropriate ways of being. If we are instructed to connect with these parts, it's usually in an arms length kind of way - where we see these parts as hurting or vulnerable children - and again we learn to separate ourselves from them, as though they aren't an intrinsic part of who we are. We are taught to love them with the intention of overcoming them. Connecting isn't to love and support these parts, it's to try to find a kind of back door way of getting rid of them. There’s again an assumption that these parts of ourselves are there for no reason/as a test of our will/are due to our ‘fallen nature’ and at any rate, they must be spiritualized out of us. That we must use our practices to overcome these parts of self - and when we do we will finally be able to create the realities of constant joy and peace we all want to create for ourselves. 

We’re told that if we identify with our trauma, with our stories, with our emotions, with our thoughts or any other part of self that isn’t feeling total bliss - that THIS is the reason we are suffering.

We’re told that it’s not really the thing we went through that’s hurting, but our thoughts and beliefs about what we went through that hurt. We’re told that it’s not helpful to ruminate on ‘why’ we are where we are/why we’re doing what we’re doing/why we’re feeling what we’re feeling - because that’s just giving our pain more attention - which will inherently make it/them stronger. We’re told again that much of our pain is DUE to these parts controlling our lives and that it’s our job to take our power back from them. 

In the personal growth world the messaging is often exactly the same. We’re told that we have complete control over our lives - over our relationships, our bodies, our financial status, our level of satisfaction in life - and thus if we are in pain in any way, if we don’t have what we want, if we aren’t where we want to be that this means we aren’t taking enough responsibility for ourselves. That we’re not doing all we could be doing to create what we want and need, and that we are the ones who are ultimately to blame for anything we’re going through. 

In both fields there is often the assumption that the Universe we live in is conscious, aware of us as humans, and is choosing things for us based on our unique being and unique soul path. Thus there’s an assumption that anything that happens to us is happening ‘for a reason’ - it’s happening to teach us a lesson, to make us stronger, to give us something we didn’t have before, or to reflect back to us where we're at, where our blocks are, where our resistance is - so that we can shift that inside of ourselves, giving us the ability to have a new reflection that feels better, or to somehow transcend feeling bad about anything that we may be feeling bad about. We're taught that again, our suffering is ALL in our minds - either it's ALL a false perception because reality is perfect and if we are hurting it's our fault for seeing things wrong (sound like gaslighting?) or if we shift our minds enough we will get a new set of circumstances that are better than the ones we currently have - because we're just getting 'what we are' sent to us.

There’s a constant narrative that life is happening FOR us rather than TO us - and it’s our job to ‘get out of victim mentality’ (ie. to stop believing anything negative is a result of the chaos or randomness inherent in life, to stop believing that there could ever be anything we experience that wasn’t in some way caused by us or at the very least is something we have the power to do something about and to essentially reject any notion of societal impact, generational impact, trauma or other factors that have nothing to do with our personal choices that have led to the circumstances we’re in) so that we can see the TRUTH of the gift of whatever we’re experiencing. We’re told to always look for the gift in our experience because, duh, there’s ALWAYS a gift in our experience. We’re often told to believe that our lives have been planned out, that everything that happens to us is happening out of some higher purpose or plan, and that it’s all leading to some ultimate expression of self - if we’re just willing to get out of our own way so as to see whatever our current challenge is ‘calling us’ to grow into.

We’re told that heaven is available on earth.

That the perfect relationship is something we can attract.

That perfect health is something we all have the capacity to create.

That the perfect job where we feel totally aligned and make tonnes of money is something we can all step into.

We’re told that we can get to a place where we no longer identify with painful emotions. We’re told that we can detach from any painful thing in our reality and through that we will find heaven.

The bottom line - we’re being sold the idea that we can reach a heaven on earth. That we can be either in a state where only positive things are happening in our reality because we are so good as manifesting only good things, that we can get to a place where we’ve transcended all of our negative habits/feelings and are in a constant state of alignment with God, that we can get to a place where life stays how it is but WE are so emotionally transcended and mentally sure that nothing bothers us anymore, and where we can become these purified beings that exist in a state of constant bliss and self assuredness.

Ie. We’re told that we can escape the human experience while still being in the human experience.


Alright! Let's take a little break here and come back next week for more.

In the mean time - how does this make you feel?



Author perceptiontrainers

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