How I Stay Motivated – My ‘Secret’ Tips For Consistent Creativity

Hello!

For the next few weeks, I’m going to give you all my ‘secrets’ for getting and staying motivated.

Finding the motivation to continue moving towards a goal is one of the most challenging parts of any growth journey.

Finding the motivation to stay on a healing path, to continue to strive for a life that feels and functions better than the one that we currently have and sticking with our commitments to nourish and nurture ourselves deeply isn’t easy at all.

Life is constantly there to provide distraction, to tell us to focus somewhere else, to tell us that what we’re after isn’t worth it. Life will ALWAYS be offering us a shiny new goal, or a new tool or technique, a new routine to use - making us feel that committing to a path is impossible because we might be ‘missing’ something somewhere else.

Pain is often a trigger for change - but pain wears off and we fall into patterns of coping and complacency easily. 

When the high and excitement of the initial phases of a change cycle have worn off, when we no longer feel the pulse of variation and the hope for something new that will change our lives forever, when we have started to get into the grit of liberation and transformation - most of us find that we lose the capacity to stick with the path.

Most of us find it difficult to find a routine around the growth we want to actualize. We find it hard not to be ‘all or nothing’ - thinking that if we aren’t doing as MUCH as humanly possible every day to be working towards our desired end we may as well pack it up and in because we’re never going to get there.

A lot of the time we’re going to find that we start comparing ourselves to others who are on a similar journey, feeling like they are reaching milestones or ‘getting there’ faster/better than us - leading to a feeling that we are failing, doing something wrong and ultimately to defeat - which can again lead us to giving up.

A lot of the time we are going to find ourselves expecting that the path is supposed to look a certain way - and then when OUR path doesn’t materialize as such, we will assume that something has gone wrong, that the methods we’re using aren’t right or that we need to change everything we’re doing or give up.

It’s very common to feel like we need more preparation before we’re going to be ready to do what we need to do. To feel like we need to buy more things, take more classes, be more informed before we start taking steps.

Mostly, the reality is getting all the way from where we are to where we want to be - taking the whole journey with all the twists, turns, unexpected side ventures, set-backs and the massive amount of determination and discipline required to make lasting changes - is hard.

It’s hard no matter who you are, no matter what kind of personality you have, no matter what kind of brain you have, no matter who is or isn’t supporting you - the reality is simply that change is hard, transition is hard and growth is hard.

So how do we find the motivation to stick with things? How do we find the discipline required to actually DO what needs to be done, over and over again, even when it’s not fun, exciting or shiny and new anymore? How do we figure out if what we’re doing is working and we just need to give it more time or if we need to change course? How do we figure out how much effort is enough, too much and too little? How do we maintain the drive we need when life gets in the way, when distractions come up and when we get knocked off our course? How do we navigate the negative thoughts and criticism of others as we attempt to change our lives?

In this series, we’re going to explore all of this.

Because again the reality of transformation, growth, achieving a goal, getting from one place to another or becoming something we wish to become isn’t all that magical, shiny and bright. 

If we can begin with open eyes about what the journey actually entails, if we can allow ourselves to release any ‘magical thinking’ we may have around transformation and how to make it happen, if we can settle into and expect what is ACTUALLY going to happen, we will have a much easier time moving forward. Not EASY, but easier.

If we can set ourselves up to expect those challenges that are likely to arise, if we can have tools in our toolbox to deal with those challenges and if we can give ourselves the support we need so that the journey is more doable - again this is a really good thing.

How Do I Stay Motivated?

First things first, I’m writing this series from my personal vantage point and from the vantage point of working with a lot of people over a long period of time - observing what has really helped people make progress in their lives and what hasn’t.

Part of the reason I feel I have some ‘authority’ to speak on this topic of motivation towards transformation is because I’ve created transformation in my own life many times. I also feel I have authority to speak on this because I have also proven myself to be VERY consistent with my creations and offerings - meaning I’ve set myself up in this life in a way that facilitates me doing a pretty difficult thing, day in and day out - with a proven track-record. I’ve also studied people - a lot - and I’ve witnessed the patterns of growth in them. I’ve witnessed what tends to work, what tends not to work, how people make progress, the potholes that most people find themselves in, and how best to navigate those challenges. I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years and discovered that there are some major themes to this growth work that are pretty well universal. 

I’ve very much dedicated my life to the work that I do, and to becoming the person I needed to be to do the work I do. I’ve dedicated a LOT of my life to studying others and human behavior in general - and this has led to my creating a pretty massive body of work that I am still adding to to this day.

So when people get to know me and when they hear about the things I talk about, it tends to inevitably lead to my being asked;

‘HOW DO YOU STAY MOTIVATED?’

My answer?

I don’t.

The end.

Just kidding. 

Well, sort of.

The truth is, I’m just like everyone else. My motivation waxes and wanes. My desire to do what I do in a day is sometimes very high, sometimes it’s very, very low and I honestly feel like I couldn’t be bothered. There are days when creation feels easy and there’s a flow right away, other days where it takes me a while to get into the mood, and days where I NEVER get into the mood and my time at my desk is a slog. 

In other words, I have no secret for motivation because my motivation isn’t any more consistent than it is for all other human beings on this planet.

I learned early on in my journey of changing my life from the painful mess that it once was to the one I’m living now where I have so much more peace, freedom and enjoyment that doing what needed to be done to get from where I was to where I wanted to be was mostly about slow, consistent effort.

I learned that transformation was RARELY about taking huge leaps, looking for the MAGICAL thing that was going to solve all of my problems or believing that there was a ONE solution that would take me from where I was to where I wanted to go, and more often than not it was actually a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again. I learned that in order to make progress, I needed to figure out a SUSTAINABLE way to do hard/challenging things - that I wasn’t serving my goals by making my path towards transformation as hard as humanly possible, nor was I serving myself by running away from the challenges that were presenting themselves, trying to stay as comfortable as possible.

Basically I realized that while other people around me seemed to be making massive progress on their paths of healing and life creation via doing these GIANT steps - in the long run, most of the people I watched doing this ended up crashing and falling back into old ways of being, only to repeat this cycle over and over again. I watched as people never really got started because they got stuck in the ‘preparation’ phase and then never got out of it. I’ve watched as people gave up on their desires because life inevitably got hard or the discipline of showing up got BORING.

I coached many clients who all wanted me to give them ‘the secret’ to transformation - thinking it was a THING - an action, a meditation, a healing, a mindset shift, a specific routine - and when I told them what my real secret was - slow and steady, sustainable effort over time - they left, continuing to look for the ‘secret’. Many times they would find people who were promising this secret - who had the intense diet protocol or the plant medicine journey or the magical healing technique and they would sign on. They would get a HIT of something as they began their work with this new person or modality, sure that they had figured something out and that the slow and steady path was just for people who didn’t get it/weren’t brave enough to do the REAL thing. Only to eventually wind up exactly where they started - and sometimes worse - a few weeks or months later once the high of the ‘secret thing’ wore off. I’ve watched as people continued to seek out the ONE THING, over and over again - spending years of their lives investing in programs and workshops and masterminds - only to again find themselves at the same starting line, over and over again.

I’ve learned that there just isn’t a ‘fast track’ to any kind of REAL transformation. To any creative journey. To any healing. That at the end of the day, those who are willing to let go of looking for that so they can rest in the reality of steps are the only ones who ever make real progress.

I’ve watched as people have done everything to avoid the daily discipline of working on a skill or working towards a goal - looking for a shortcut or thinking that they needed to be somewhere 10 steps down the road RIGHT NOW otherwise they were never going to get there - again meaning that ultimately they just never really got started.

I learned that as much as I and everyone else may want there to be, there’s no ‘hack’ for growth. There’s only slow, sustained action.

I learned the same thing to be true for creativity and productivity in general. There’s no secret or hack there either. Some days are going to be days where it all flows effortlessly and you just feel like you’re riding a wave. Other days you’re going to feel like a sack of potatoes is sitting on your brain leading to a situation where any attempts at doing what you need to do feels like lifting a million pounds. 

I’ve learned that people who create great works or useful content aren’t necessarily the most intelligent, skillful, gifted or unique - but rather they are the ones who are most consistent with investing in their craft. They are the ones who work at it, who train on a regular basis, who show up and work their skills over and over again - refining as they go and gaining the mastery that can ONLY be gained through time.

So the first thing I want to say about all this is - don’t believe anyone who tells you that they have a hack for staying motivated. Don’t believe anyone who is trying to sell you a secret for transformation. Don’t allow yourself to be bamboozled by the idea that other people are simply more motivated than you, more capable, more prepared and that’s why they’re making the progress they’re making. Don’t let anyone convince you that the high of doing something extreme IS the transformation or the tool or the ticket. Don’t let anyone convince you that discipline isn’t the main factor in growth.

Don’t let anyone convince you that there’s an easy way, or that greatness happens through some secret.

None of this is reality.

There is no magic in this life - there are tools and ways of preparing ourselves that can sometimes *feel* a little magical when we really get into them - but at the end of the day, getting where we want to go is MOSTLY boring, slow, monotonous work.

With this, don’t misunderstand me - there IS magic on this path. In fact, allowing yourself to develop a skill so you can achieve a goal or allowing yourself to go deep on your spiritual/personal growth path is basically the most magical life path you could choose. There are going to be moments of immense joy, where it looks like miracles are happening. Where everything aligns and the circumstances you find yourself in feel like they are straight from a Hollywood script. There are going to be days and times where the path feels SO right and SO true that you think you may float away. You’re going to have a connection to something greater than yourself that will lead you to believing in more than we can see.

This is all true.

But this all comes because we built a container for it - a container of discipline, routine, and the willingness to keep going and to open up when things get hard and confusing rather than shutting down.

Forward momentum is so much more about discipline and routine than it is about motivation.

I’ll say that again, because I think it’s important that we really come to terms with this fact before we move forward.

Transformation, becoming a consistent creator of anything, growth - all of this is more about the little things you do on a day to day basis to move towards your goal even when you don’t feel like it than it is about having motivation.

The Initial Desire

Now, this isn’t to say that growth and moving towards a goal is ALL slog. In fact, if it is, if your experience of working towards that which you desire is ENTIRELY unpleasant, hard, unrewarding and excruciating - I would challenge you to really consider WHY you are moving towards what you are in the first place.

When we’re choosing goals to work towards and when we’re looking to change our lives in some way, there HAS to be a sense of internal desire, a ‘why’ that really means something to us. And it usually has to mean something to us BEYOND just what we think it will do for us socially - meaning if our entire motivation for doing what we’re doing is coming from what we think it will make others think of us/do for us - it’s very likely that we’re going to be disappointed and that this external drive is going to ware off really quickly.

Because the reality is, how others react and respond to us, how others treat us and being approved of by others is all fickle. It’s all going to wax and wane. We don’t have total control over how others see and respond to us and thus no matter how much we try to align with what we think people want - we are NEVER going to be satisfied because there will always be someone who disagrees with us, and people simply aren’t consistent in their love and affection. 

We also have to remember that in seeking for validation we are forgetting that what we REALLY want is positive RESULTS. The real reason to put in effort towards any goal is to get the OUTCOME of putting in those efforts - the needs that get met, the experiences we get to have, the creations we get to share, the ease or fun that’s created - this is what we actually want. Just most of the time we don’t see that, because we have all been deeply conditioned to associate being loved with being understood by others so that THEY will meet our needs for us. That is the childhood perspective! So when we seek for approval - if what we are doing to be approved of doesn’t get us good results in real reality, no amount of approval is actually going to feel good - because our needs still aren't being met. Approval doesn’t meet needs. If what we are doing does meet our needs but doesn’t get approval, there will be some internal conflict we need to work through - but ultimately this is going to be a MUCH more satisfying situation, if we are able to see past WHY we want approval (because we think it’s a REQUIREMENT for getting our needs met) to seeing that we can get our needs met WITHOUT approval - and then the pull will be less and less. But if we are only working for approval, this messes up our view of why we’re really doing what we are and what we really want. 

Approval doesn’t meet needs. We can get needs met without approval and we can get approval without having our needs met. Approval can LEAD to our needs being met - and that is something we want to develop clarity on *what do we really WANT via the approval we seek, and does the approval actually LEAD to those results?*

Learning to see this is that tough transition from the childhood perspective to the adult one - and our goals is a great place to work on this. They help us see where we are still acting from the fantasy of being loved = being safe and provided for, so we can start to question what we ACTUALLY want in real reality, and we can start working towards THAT. 

This kind of clarity around what we REALLY want, why we are doing what we’re doing, why we would want to put in the effort is VITAL for long term success. If it’s all about being approved of, we have some deeper work to do. 

But once we do that work, we can figure out what actually matters to us, and in this we will find more joy on the path.

We HAVE to have an internal drive that isn’t dependent upon the behaviors of others in order for our goal to be reachable and ENJOYABLE.

So before you even start - I highly recommend taking a step back and fully looking at your current motivations. Asking yourself if you would still want to go after what you are even if no one else cares, even if it doesn’t get you love from others, even if it doesn’t change how others are in your life. Are you still wanting to do what you want to do for your own sake? 

This isn’t to say that you have to have 100% internal motivation. Of course for a lot of us the goals we want to reach and the people we want to become are tied to our social lives and how we want people to treat us and perceive us. This isn’t about trying to get RID of that. It’s just about realizing that if our SOLE motivation is external, we are bound to fail because we can’t control how people treat us. We can’t control how people react and respond to us. Reaching our goals and becoming who we want to become is no guarantee that we will get what we want from others. Others are going to be changeable and fickle - we can’t count on others to be perfectly consistent or to love us perfectly no matter what we do or what we achieve. Thus, it’s VERY important that we aren’t fully dependent upon others and their reactions to us for motivation.

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Let’s take a break here and come back for the next set of foundations for achieving a goal next week!

<3

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