Learn How To Trust The Process And My Personal Transformation

Most of us are not fans of trusting in any sort of process. We like to see quick results, and if we don't we assume that whatever we are doing isn't going to work, and we quit.

This is very prevalent in the diet and self help worlds.

We all desire to see our bodies transform into our ideal vision as soon as, or very shortly after we start a new diet or workout program. We want to see results yesterday. This way of thinking usually traps us in a cycle of never actually achieving any results.

The diet roller coaster (or any other cycle of self improvement) usually looks something like this:

1. You get fed up with your current situation - You have had enough of feeling like shit and looking like shit (in your mind you look like shit, I am not going to agree with you)

2. You choose something to help you change said situation - You go on a diet. You cut out carbs. You restrict your calories. You start running 6 days a week.

3. Do new thing for a week or two - You see a few results, but then those results start to come slower and slower, or the results don't come at all.

4. You find that the new things is even MORE uncomfortable than the thing you were trying to change - Now you are still looking and feeling generally like shit, but you can't even eat the cookies to make you feel better at the end of the day.

5. You get discouraged that you are not seeing the results you want - This is usually mixed in with some awesome self deprecation, guilt and shame, and maybe even some confusion, frustration, anger and resentment.

6. You go back to doing what you were doing before, with the new idea that what you just did does not work - Screw the diet. It didn't even work. You want those damn cookies. Fuck it all.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Sound familiar?

I used to repeat this cycle several times a year. I would wake up, decide I was fed up with how my body looked, I would drastically reduce my calories or cut out major groups of food that I enjoyed eating, be on this 'diet' for a few weeks, see some results, then either my will power would wane because I did not like how I was eating, or I would not see the results I wanted right away so I would assume what I was doing wasn't working and then I would hop onto a new diet and start the cycle all over again.

This went round and round for literally about 10 years of my life.

Then around 2 years ago, I was sitting whining to my sister about how I hated my body and how nothing ever worked for me. I was letting her know that I must have some 'special' body that just wants to be fat and unhealthy because all the things that I tried technically 'should' have worked but didn't. She had heard this from me about a gabillion times before. This time, she turned to me and said -

"Nothing ever works because you never give it time to work."

That finally clicked for me. She was 100% correct. I had been so busy jumping from one thing to another that I never gave my body a chance to acclimatize to anything I was doing, nor had I given it a chance to adjust and feel safe.

Right then and there I decided to just stick to what I knew felt 'right.' I committed to choosing a lifestyle and giving it a year to work. I knew that for me - eating a raw diet with lots of yummy fruits felt good. I knew that yoga felt good and walking felt good. So I quit trying to figure out which foods would make me skinny, and just stuck to the foods that made me feel good, in the amounts that made me feel good. I chose yoga and walking and let go of extreme workouts. Here is how I looked at the start:

Not bad - there was nothing particularly wrong with this body - except for that I felt like crap. I wanted to be toned and lean and knew I could be. But My body was exhausted and needed to heal.

For about the first year, nothing happened to how my body looked. I stayed about the same weight, and I started to become OK with it. The reason? I was also working on loving and accepting myself. I was no longer desperately trying to manipulate my physical form, so I had to learn to sit in my discomfort with my body and dive into the deeper layers that were really causing this discomfort within myself. Physically what was changing was that I was feeling so much better. My digestion started to get better. I started having more energy. Yoga was easier and easier.

Then, about 8 months in, my body started to change a little:

 

 

I was more physically capable, stronger in my immune system and freer in my mind.

 

I had released some weight here, and again I DID NOT CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT MY DIET OR LIFESTYLE. This is me eating the same calories, same general macronutirent ratios and same general calorie sources as I was in the first photo. I was feeling awesome here and I honestly felt more at home in my body than ever before in my life. I was more loving toward myself, moving closer and closer to a peaceful relationship with my body and with my life.

Then, after about another 8 months, I started looking like this:

I got muscles. I leaned out. My hair started growing in thicker. My nails got stronger. My digestion was getting stronger and stronger. I was still eating and working out the same way as I was over 2 years ago here.

This is what trusting the process looks like. 

I didn't quit. I found what felt initially right, and I stuck with it over time. I dug deep into how I was feeling about myself, and stopped distracting myself from my negative feelings using diets. I gave my body a chance to heal. To re-calibrate. To slow down, readjust and find its own happy place.

So again, I was eating the same and working out the same in the very first photo as I am now, in the last photos.

My mind has changed. My heart is opened. My life is fuller and richer and so much more enjoyable. But my diet is the same 🙂

The take home message here? 

1. Find something that intuitively feels good to you - Choose a lifestyle you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life being happy, healthy and satisfied. This means nothing extreme, and nothing you have to put tonnes and tonnes of willpower or effort into maintaining. If a diet 'sounds' right to you, but you can't stick to it to save your life, its not the diet for you. It must be moderate. There is a good chance that as you journey along you will make tweaks and things will shift - but it should NEVER be hard. If you can't stick to an ideal, then it is not really an ideal. Let it go and do what works for you.

2. Check in with your body now - Notice how this way of eating makes you feel now, not how it makes you look. If you feel satisfied, nourished and balanced, you are most likely on the right track.

3. Start tuning into your emotions - When you are not flip flopping between different diets and lifestyles or trying to force yourself to stick to a program you can't stick to and so flip flopping between being 'on track' and 'off track', it is possible that painful emotions may surface. Allow them to. Journal. Go speak with a councillor. Sit on the floor, close your eyes and send yourself love and compassion. Start to allow yourself to process what you need to when you need to.

4. Give yourself time - Continue to check in with how you are feeling on a regular basis, especially when you are tempted to hop onto another diet. Remind yourself that if you continue to do what feels good, you will eventually heal. Then remind yourself that as you send yourself love and compassion right here, right now, you are healing so much more than just your body.

5. Appreciate your life now - The other biggest secret here is that when you are not distracting yourself with diets and workout routines and changing your mind all the time, you can start to focus more of that energy onto your life. Start seeking deeper into yourself and discover what you love doing. What fills you up. What lights you up. Do more of those things.

6. Trust - Then, just keep going. Keep tuning in and keep listening. You will learn SO much about yourself and your body in the process. Enjoy the ride.

Take up some trust in the process. I promise it will be worth it.

<3