The Poison Has Become The Medicine

Hello Beautiful!
Today I want to dive into one of the many reasons the 'awakening' path is so incredibly difficult.
It's always been challenging to come into connection with real reality - and in todays world it seems to be getting harder by the day. Part of the reason for this, is the fact that our nervous systems got programmed in our infancy to perceive and respond to reality in ways that actually take us FARTHER from truth - but that FEEL fully NECESSARY for survival.
That were necessary for survival at one point - meaning what we had to do to have a successful childhood has become the exact opposite of what we now need to do to have a successful adulthood.
Let's dive into why nervous system work is so important on the awakening path so we can better understand the utility of the more body/embodied practices that are being popularized today. So that we can stop getting so caught up in trying to 'transcend' and 'escape' ourselves, that we may actually find peace.

To Awaken, We must 'Re -Traumatize' Ourselves Systematically:

Awakening to reality, coming into ‘enlightenment’, deprogramming and de-conditioning ourselves, getting out of the Matrix - is basically the process of systematically re-traumatizing yourself/re-visiting your traumas and traumatized parts, so that you can then re-parent yourself into a direct 1-1 relationship with REALITY.

Remember, trauma is simply the term we use for anything that happened in our lifetime that REMOVED us from real reality.
Pain is the RESULT of us breaking ourselves against reality. Acting in ways that are out of alignment with how reality works. When we think that reality functions one way - ie. if I do this I will get this result, if I act this way I will get that result - when it in fact works another - I do this and I get a result I wasn’t expecting/now don’t know HOW to get the result I wanted/don’t even really understand the result I wanted or the need I was trying to get met - we have pain. When we continue to act as though REALITY got it wrong - thinking we have the right answer and we just have to keep trying or doing what we are doing in slightly different ways or just in the polar opposite way - we suffer. Now we are self inflicting pain over and over as we take the same actions, expecting different results.
Reality doesn’t change for any of us. It is what it is.
Fire burns you whether you’re aware of that law or not.
You will fall to the ground if you jump off a cliff, no matter how small and innocent or old and wise you are.
In our childhoods, this 1-1 relationship with reality was being overridden by our caregivers. They protected us from dangers we had no way of cognitively understanding. They met our needs when we were mentally/emotionally/physically incapable of doing so for ourselves. We were not interacting with reality directly - if we had been there would be no human race. Rather, we had intermediaries that protected, provided for and loved us safe.
Thus, our nervous systems from the VERY BEGINNING OF OUR LIVES were programmed that external love = safety and provision. Not alignment with real reality. Not following the lows of the universe. Not even understanding or paying attention to the laws.
Love and acceptance = provision/pleasure/needs being met.

Your Programming Came From A CULTURE:

Your caregivers didn’t exist in a vacuum. They existed within a cultural context. A societal framework that functions very much like the parent child relationship. Society at large is a group of people who have all collectively decided on what reality is (generally speaking) what is and isn’t required to get our needs met, what is and isn’t valuable as far as supporting the human race, what is and isn’t good - and some of these collective values/understandings are flat out WRONG. Completely counter to how reality actually works.
But we have no awareness of this, because we all agree that this is how things are, and we are all finding love and approval in aligning with the consensus reality to some degree, which makes us feel good and safe and like we are going to be provided for - and thus we don’t see the actual harm and chaos of our actions.
Because our nervous systems are PROGRAMMED that love and acceptance = provision.
Thus, in our childhoods, we all learned how to ADAPT to the ENVIRONMENT we were in. Getting our needs met and having provision again wasn’t due to aligning with real reality. It was due to aligning with the rules of the household.
Meaning we all started to have to DISCONNECT from our guidance system that was wired to connect with REAL REALITY - our pain and pleasure mechanisms - in order to align with the framework of that which pleased our caregivers. Survival in our childhoods meant aligning with our caregivers consensus reality. Not real reality.
The farther this consensus reality was away from real reality, and the farther this consensus reality was from YOUR TRUTH as an individual, is the degree to which you are now TRAUMATIZED.
Meaning, the more you had to shut down your true nature, the more you had to do things that felt painful to you but that you were being told were ‘good’, the more you had to stop doing things that felt good to you in order to not be ‘bad’, the more you were stunted in your LEARNING process though being shamed/abandoned/rejected for the pain you caused yourself and others rather than guided in how to LEARN from that pain - the more you lost your connection to true reality. The more you started to be wired for CONSENSUS pain and pleasure rather than TRUE pain and pleasure.
This.Was.Trauma.
This is how you got disconnected from reality. This is how you lost your sense of self. Your sense of truth. This is why you do things that seem to feel good in the moment but cause pain later. This is why you cope and self sabotage. This is why you ‘think’ you are following your bliss and your purpose and doing the right things - only to find that you are constantly exhausted, fail, feel like a fraud, have to cope, numb and stimulate, why you can’t find authentic relationships, why you struggle to ‘love yourself’ and so on. This is why you feel you need to be different people around different people. Why you can’t determine truth for yourself. Why you feel you will die if the world rejects you.
If your caregivers didn’t know how reality functioned, they taught you consensus. They taught you how to break yourself against reality, and this got wired into your nervous system as THE WAY TO SURVIVE.
You LITERALLY learned on a NERVOUS SYSTEM LEVEL that to break yourself against reality WAS TO LIVE. Because it got you approval, and approval = acceptance in your life. They taught you that to follow your GUIDANCE, TRUE REALITY - was to DIE - because the more you did that in ways that got you rejected, the more you learned that to follow truth was to DIE.
You see? You see how traumatizing this is? Why none of us have a clear sense of what’s right and wrong?
This is how society functions. It is built upon a bunch of people who are coming from trauma, disconnection from reality, creating systems and policies and programs that DO NOT ALING WITH TRUE REALITY - and thus are DESTROYING us, but that FEEL GOOD to us as a society because these programs = LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. Going along with culture - ANY culture - even aligning with a fringe group that’s super ‘anti culture’ but still not aligned with TRUTH will feel GOOD because it’s ACCEPTANCE FROM A GROUP.

This Is Why Awakening Is A Process Of Re-Traumatizing Ourselves:

Thus, awakening is about de-conditioning ourselves.
Coming out of the childhood relationship we have to one another and to reality.
Learning that we need to learn from reality directly for ourselves.
Not through a group.
We need to disconnect from consensus for a period of time so that we can go through that ‘ego death’ of losing connection, facing that nervous system fear that rejection = death - so that we can finally move PAST that barrier for entry into real reality.
Until we face that fear of rejection, feel that death, and then see that we live - we won’t have access to true pain and pleasure.
On the other side of that rejection death, we will finally be able to start to re-connect with that which feels good because it’s TRUE and that which feels good because it’s ACCEPTABLE. We will be able to reconnect to that which is false and feels bad for that reason, and that which feels bad because it’s counter to our conditioning.
We will then get to re-trace all our trauma steps. You will start to revisit all the trauma that disconnected you from yourself and from reality, revisit all that pain that you had to pretend was good for you, all that pain that you had to pretend was good in general, all the pleasure you had to deny yourself, all the parts of self you had to shut down or amp up - and this is now the medicine that will re-connect you with yourself and reality.
Being rejected by your caregivers and being misunderstood was the trauma that is causing all of us to be caught in the artificial matrix. We got programmed through this rejection.
Now, learning to face that rejection and LOVE OURSELVES through it, so that we can come out the other side finding clarity is the medicine. Is the path.
We have to let INTENTIONALLY face rejection in order to re-connect with truth. We have to revisit all the rejected, abandoned, lost, suppressed and shamed parts of ourselves as a loving parent. Make them SAFE through INTERNAL LOVE.
Then through this love, we will have nervous system safety. The thing that was cut off from us in our childhoods. From there, we will be able to discern true pain and pleasure from false pain and pleasure. As we allow ourselves to disconnect from culture - at least for a while - then and only then, in the light of our own love and safety that will let us question EVERYTHING we have ever known to be true in order to fish out the truth from the lies - will we be set free.
Then we can follow our true pain and pleasure for the rest of our lives. Sometimes this will look like culture where culture got it right. Other times it will look totally opposite. Other times like some 3rd totally different thing.
It won’t be about rebellion or fitting in. About anything to do with culture. It will be about TRUTH.
The poison that disconnected you - rejection - is now the medicine that will re-connect you.
Willfully facing rejection, letting yourself ‘die’, loving yourself through it, owning who and what you are and what you feel and what you must do to learn regardless of how anyone else feels about it - this is how we wake up. This is why all great masters left culture to find truth. It’s the only way.
The poison is now the medicine.
You must dose yourself. With love.
What a time to be alive.
perceptiontrainers

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