Last night I had the chance to share some thoughts on ideal health and comparing our bodies/lifestyles with others along side my amazing co-worker and friend Whitney. Some really awesome ideas and strategies for how you can find your health 'sweet spot' came up, and I am excited to share them with you today.
If you would like to watch our conversation rather than read it, you can do so here!
In the health world, it can be very tempting to find health 'gurus' or people that you look up to as having an ideal body/lifestyle. It is common to see people sharing diet and lifestyle tips as though they are law - as though their way is the only way to get healthy, lean or fit. When you start to buy into the idea that what others are doing is the one true way, you can start to run into issues. These issues are:
- Guilt and self depreciation when you can't live up to what you have determined is ideal.
- Lack of connection with your own body and feelings in leu of following what someone else is telling you to do/is doing themselves.
- Frustration or feelings of failure when the promised results do not come for you.
- Comparing yourself to others.
- 'White knuckling' your way to health/fitness, which is never sustainable.
- Totally sucking all the fun out of health.
None of the above are very pleasant to experience, nor are they all that helpful when reaching your healthiest point is the goal.
Remember too that health and fitness should be a fun, sustainable part of your life! Not a short term goal or a pain in your a**
Taking inspiration and ideas from those who are getting similar results to those you desire is one thing. Trying to fit yourself into someone else's mould is another. Here are the points we covered last night that I feel will best help you navigate the waters of finding your ideal version of health.
Tip #1 - Loving yourself Is Step 1
This is the number one most important thing that I am going to share with you, so if you want to stop reading after this you totally can. That is how crucial it is. If you are not at a place where you are open to working on loving yourself more, then really the rest of these tips are not going to be as powerful as they could be.
When you lack self love - or the willingness to practice loving yourself more - you are going to be so much more likely to fall into the trap of allowing someone else to tell you how you should live, how you should eat, how you should look, what you should weigh and so on. You will also be much more vulnerable to feeling like you are a failure if you are unable to live up to these new dictates.
Lacking self love will also mean that you will be more likely to do things that do not align with what you as an individual needs.
The reason that a lack of self love will cause these issues is because if you are not finding your value and worth in something that is not your body, you will most likely find it in your body - and this means if you are not living up the perfect ideal and expectation, you will feel badly about yourself. You will also be so much more willing to let someone tell you what you should be.
Loving yourself means you will give yourself space to take what works for you and leave the rest. With self love you will give your body space and time to heal at its own pace. With self love you will be willing to step up and do the things that are genuinely good for you even if they are difficult, as well as being willing to allow some things to slide if that is really better for you over all. With self love you will be able to have a long range vision for your life and your health, which will help you avoid the pitfalls of crash dieting.
So, all this is to say I recommend you start any healing/health/fitness journey with some self love practices.
Tip #2 - Find The Balance Between Feeling Awesome And A Lifestyle That Is Doable
The second thing that we spoke about is the balance between doing things that you know are supportive of your health and wellbeing, and doing things that fit into your current life and lifestyle.
For example, I am a young, childless woman who does not have to commute to an office or take care of children or deal with a ton of people in a day. My lifestyle has certain flexibility and luxuries. This means I am free to walk to the store whenever I need fresh produce. I can wake up and go to sleep whenever I feel like it. I can eat a 100% raw foods diet. I can practice yoga and meditation at the same time every day because my lifestyle allows for these things.
Life would be a very different story if I had children. Or if I had a 2 hour commute to work. Of if I lived in a city where it was too cold to walk everywhere.
How I live really only works for me based on ALL of my lifestyle factors.
So for you, eating a 100% raw foods diet and practicing yoga every day and never compromising on having fresh produce may feel good in your body, but may cause you lots of stress to maintain within the confines of your daily demands. If trying to maintain a certain level of health causes you more stress than it offers you in the way of feeling good - then you are out of balance.
It is better to compromise on a few things in order to create overall harmony in your life. It is also better too create a few lifestyle changes - like simplifying your diet in order to facilitate feeling better if convenience is taking precedence and thus compromising your level of feeling good.
Find YOUR balance between ideal health habits and what is practical in your life.
Tip #3 - You Get To Choose Your Level
Whitney has an amazing way of explaining this point and I want to use her example.
For her, she experimented with eating a 100% raw foods diet and felt that it made her a little too floaty. She struggled to keep her head 'grounded' and found herself lacking the ability to fully do her job as a health coach in that mind space. She made a decision to keep some cooked foods in her diet as a way of giving herself her ideal level of health where she can still function optimally in her job.
That is some wicked self awareness.
She does not strive to be 100% raw because she know that 100% raw does not work for her in her life. She could be comparing herself to others out there who are making 100% raw work, but she doesn't. She owns her optimal and goes with that.
For me, I have different life goals. I am currently leading a more spiritually based lifestyle that requires hours of yoga and mediation - so my 100% raw foods diet very much facilitates what I am doing right now. I need to eat a raw diet in order to feel optimal and function optimally in my current life with my current goals. I have to be honest with myself and decide on the level of health I am comfortable with and what that means for me. Eating cooked foods would be easier or more convenient at times for sure, but for me the trade off is not worth it for how my body reacts. So I do what I do and make no excuses about it.
This goes for you - you get to decide what level of health/simplicity works for you and is your ideal level at this time. If you are busy working in a corporate environment or raising children there is a good chance you will need more grounding - and food can offer that to you. If you know you would like to level up in your health then perhaps making some shifts to your eating is what you will need to do. Either way it is up to you to decide what level is optimal for you - and then to let go of any guilt or excuses about it.
Tip # 4 - People Are Preaching What Works For Them - Keep That In Mind
When you look at health guru's or leaders, the first thing you must always keep in mind is that they are sharing what worked for them - their bodies, their lifestyles, their histories, their personal preferences and so on.
This means that there is about a 99.99% chance that their exact lifestyle wont work for you. There are simply too many variables.
Rather than looking at these people as experts that have all the answers, look to them for ideas. Take what they are doing and try them out. Then keep what works for you and leave the rest, no guilt required.
If you find that your health guru intentionally or unintentionally makes you feel guilty or less than for not being able to do exactly what they are doing, keep some of these things in mind:
- It is likely that they want everyone to agree with their way because they are insecure in what they are doing. If they were truly confident that what they were doing was the best thing, they would not feel threatened if others disagreed with them.
- The more drastic their healing journey was, the more 'dogmatic' they are likely to be with their ideas. That is Ok. Allow them to be fervent and excited but just remember that you do not have to own their stuff.
- If the way they live makes you feel guilty or less than - check in with yourself. Are you placing unrealistic expectation on yourself? Are you placing too much of your value on your diet, lifestyle and body? Are you giving too much of your personal power away to someone else? Remember that at the end of the day, you are the only one who has to live with your choices. You are not hurting them if you don't follow their program 100%. Take ownership for how you feel and asses what is right for you.
- It is very likely that what works for them now, wont work for them in 5-10-15 years - so don't get so attached. They are doing what works for them right now. There is no law. Allow them to change and grow so that you can more easily give yourself space to change, learn and grow.
Tip #5 - Always Use Results Over Theory
This tip is the one most of my clients skip. This tip is one I skipped for a long time too.
I used to work out like it was my job. I lifted heavy weights 3 times a week, did HIIT training, steady state cardio, yoga, walked everywhere and so on. Technically speaking I was doing everything 'right' and my body should have been lean, fit, toned and healthy.
The problem? It wasn't!
I was exhausted all the time, I had trouble maintaining lean mass, let alone increasing my lean mass, and I always had an extra layer on my belly. My adrenal glands were shot, my hair was thin, my nails were brittle and I was generally in rough shape.
I continued on with this crazy routine for way longer than I should have, because I was putting all my faith in the theory - that it should have made me thin and lean - rather than judging what was happening with my actual physical results.
Eventually I let go of that craziness and cut down to simply practicing yoga, walking and Pilates for exercise. I immediately started to feel better. Then, low and behold about a year later I had the body I had been working so hard for. I got muscle tone I never had in my life, my adrenals healed, I started having more energy and so on.
Results over theory.
If what you are doing should work, works for other people, has scientific studies behind it and all that jazz, but makes you feel like crap. STOP. Move on to something else. Theory is only as good as the results it provides.
Putting It All Together
The bottom line is, you have to live your life.
You cannot do this health journey for anyone else, nor can you do it fully based on what someone else is saying or doing.
Also, health should be fun and enjoyable. Sure, there are going to be times when making changes is difficult, but overall it should feel good. If you are finding all the joy is being stripped from your life as you try to live up to some sort of ideal, chances are you need to back up and re-asses.
Find YOUR balance. Adjust to what is. Level up or gear down. Don't get attached to any one way.
<3
