Why Do We Spiritually Bypass/Look To ‘Transcend’ Being Human To Connect To “God”?

Hello Friend 🙂

Why do we spiritually bypass?

Look to transcended gurus to teach us how to get our of our ‘minds/pain body’s/egos?’

To search for the aliens/God who will tell us the ‘secret’ to lasting abundance/bliss/connection?

There are many different perspectives on these questions. Today I want to share what I believe to be at least a *part* of the reason, and why it's totally innocent that we do these things.

Here's my take, let me know what you think!

We Bypass And Search 'Out There' Because We Are Hurting 'In Here.'

We are traumatized and don’t know how to learn from life.

This life is not about transcending the human experience in order to connect with the Divine.

Rather, we are all eventually going to find - even through all the paths we attempt to take that work to remove us from the trauma of this human experience - that the DEEPER we go into feeling, into embodiment, into working with one another on a heart to heart, hand to hand level - the more we connect with that magical, mystical ‘more’ we are all chasing.

The keys to our ‘ascension’ don’t lie in getting out of our bodies. Out of our human experiences. Out of our emotions. Out of our thoughts. Out of identification with self.

No.

Our key lies in the embracing and integration of all of this.

Our experiences, our identities, our thoughts and feelings - none of these things inherently separate us from the Divine we all seek - rather it is our RESISTANCE to these things, our misunderstanding, our holding rather than processing, our woking to numb and escape, our looking to transcend - that actually traps us. When we use our spirituality and healing to escape ourselves we find ourselves in never ending cycles of dissociative bliss and soul crushing re-connection with the pain that needs to be felt and understood to be integrated.

***And the real truth is - most of us don't have the tools to integrate our traumas. Most of us are so hurt, wounded, scared, have been given SO LITTLE in the way of knowing HOW o process, how to feel and figure things out, and how to learn to navigate the things we can't control - that to try to be in ur bodies, to think that we are going to simply have to live this embodied life where there will always be pain and suffering is TOO MUCH. We all spiritually bypass or look to escape ourselves/reality simply because reality hurts and we have no other way of managing or dealing.

This is why we do it. Not because we want to bypass. Not because we want to live in a fantasy. We do it because it's the best we have right now. So please know that everything I am about to say is true - but also if you NEED to bypass, to be in an altered state, if seeking outside yourself feels like the only thing available to you right now - there's nothing wrong with you. Use those tools as foundations that will help you process one day. THIS is the key. Make it fully safe to want to bypass and transcend. Sometimes we NEED to do that to build the foundations to do the deeper, inner work. The reality based processing.

Let yourself journey at your pace and speed. Let yourself bypass and disconnect - let yourself process how YOU NEED TO right now. Look at it as a journey not a step or a 'right or wrong.'

When you feel ready, you will move forward. To the rest of what I am saying here. Until then - sometimes we need to learn to dissociate because we can build the witness. We need the hope of heaven before we can be empowered to build our right life. We need to escape to not be crushed under the weight of our experience.

This is ALL valid and I SEE YOU. You are valid.

Walk your path, come to this when it feels RIGHT for YOU.***

Eventually We Will Find That The Human Experience IS The Way:

When we're ready, we will find that to be in the human experience, to connect with the traumas of our pasts and presents, to love and accept all the hurting, neglected, abused and battered parts of ourselves IS the path to the divine. Until we see this, we will be stuck in spiritual limbo. Chasing a heaven that can only ever be seen and felt in the here and now. Within whatever we are in. We can dissociate, deflect, talk about, dis-identify and look to escape ourselves all we want - but in the process we push God away.

We can discipline and distract ourselves until we are blue in the face - feeling those moments of high followed by the moments of dark low over and over - but until we integrate, until we are ready to take the steps in allowing ourselves to process our experiences - we will suffer.

Again, we will do this until we are ready to move forward. When we have the foundations to view life from a more adult perspective. When we have loved ourselves safe enough to see the chaos without needing to run from it.

This life is chaos. There is pain and trauma. AND. We have power to make things better. This better will be found through embodiment and presence. The transcendence comes when we can understand and improve - not when we can escape and deflect.

It’s my belief that the feelings of oneness and connection to something ‘higher’ than ourselves/one another, Divine inspiration and creativity, bliss, the experience of flashes of insights, experiences of becoming something fundamentally NEW, the feeling of birth and re-birth, of eternal wonder and awe - this things are all NATURAL to the human state in a state of love.

Peace.

SAFETY.

We are incredibly creative, expansive, capable of understanding and deeply FEELING beings. It’s our experience of TRAUMA is what separates this from these states - not ourselves and not life itself.

We don’t have God by getting rid of self or life. We have God through returning to/growing our natural states through LEARNING and UNDERSTANDING so we can feel SAFE. Safe.

Processing the trauma - this is the key.

The reality is - there is only so much processing we can do at any given time.

This is another aspect of integration we must honor and appreciate.

The truth is, we aren’t going to find spiritual transcendence or peace through any method that takes us OUT of ourselves. That tries to ‘change’ the broken parts of ourselves as though there is or could be something broken about us.

Rather ‘transcendence’ comes from understanding ourselves.

Self Exploration = God Understanding:

Understanding our wounds. Our pain. Where our needs weren’t and aren’t being met. Through embodying these vessels of truth that alert us to what is and isn't in alignment with growth via pain and pleasure.

'Transcendence' comes from being able to love ourselves deeply and fiercely enough that we are ready and willing to embrace what we ARE vs what we have been conditioned we MUST BE to succeed in this world.

It comes from seeing all the parts of ourselves that were existential threats to us growing up - they got us shamed/blamed/abandoned and realizing these parts aren't what STOP us from being in bliss - they are the parts that got us caught in FEAR from being CUT OFF from the love we needed to feel secure.

It comes through RE-INTEGRATING not 'fixing.'

It comes from learning how to LEARN from pain.

It comes from DISCOVERING all the parts of self that are currently in shadow and bringing them into LIGHT so they can GROW and EXPRESS.

From EMBRACING our emotions so we can LEARN from them.

Through getting CURIOUS about our thoughts and minds rather than trying to get rid of these things.

Through realizing we have POWER now we didn't before - when we were traumatized.

Through slowly resourcing ourselves as ADULTS with POWER.

The heaven we seek is in learning how to listen to the WISDOM that is right here, right now, in front of us in every experience, and learning how to IMPROVE the conditions of the human being through FIRST accepting and embracing who and what WE ARE - and then moving from that place.

In this we will find ourselves naturally disrupting the systems that are built upon trauma. We won’t have to try to figure out how to help the world, how to change things, how to ‘fix’ things - rather we will start to LIVE from an authentically HUMAN place - and find that THIS connects us t the ‘Divine’ wisdom of balance, harmony, cooperation, creativity and expansion we all think is only ‘over there’ when we are healed.

But that’s the big picture.

Integration, Not Dissociation, Is The Way:

If we roll it back a little - we will find again that the process, the journey, the ‘how to’ isn’t in getting out of our minds. Isn’t in getting out of our bodies. Isn’t in transcending the human ego. It’s in INTEGRATING. Processing the things that we’ve experienced that hurt us - and looking for what these experiences tell us about what we want and need in order to THRIVE and be WELL.

Because that’s what trauma is - an experience we don’t understand, where we don’t feel we have power, and we are in a situation where we are being antagonized or abandoned in some way.   

THIS is the pain of life.

Not having our needs met, which means we can’t grow.

This is the ROOT of ALL suffering - not having our needs met for a long period of time.

Being powerless over and over. Not understanding why something hurts or how to make it better.

Not understanding HOW to understand.

Not having a safe place to explore, make mistakes, fall down, be ‘wrong’ and be aided in learning.

Not being ALLOWED to express who and what we are or being told that in so doing we will LOSE everything.

When we seek spirituality to escape these things - we cut ourselves off from the very thing we are actually looking for. It is THROUGH understanding our pain, suffering and trauma that we can better understand OURSELVES. Nature. The reality we live in. God. Our traumas point us to that which we don’t know we don’t know - what things we have been told are ‘normal’ and ‘right’ that are actually harmful, what things we have been told are ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ that are actually useful. The parts of self that are acting from shadow rather than light - just trying to get our needs met in the only way they know how.

The heaven we seek is a world where we are free of this suffering - and that world is possible - THROUGH processing. THROUGh understanding WHY what hurts hurts, and then with that understanding being able to create the NEW THING that will support us. Our traumas SHOW US where we are WRONG about how things WORK. So we can CHANGE THEM. THIS is the heaven we want.

It’s not going to come through ‘transcendence’ but a deep ACCEPTANCE of who and what we are, what we need, how we best thrive and then creating that world.

The human experience IS the KEY to creating heaven on earth.

But We Can't Process Everything In One Go:

But we can’t expect ourselves to be able to process everything at once. TO take it all in in one fell swoop. To sit in our pain, in our emotions, in our fear 24/7 until it’s all fully resolved.

We are human beings. We have nervous systems with limited capacities. We have traumas that are DEEP and that finding safety in ourselves enough to be ABLE to process is HARD WORK.

We must embrace both of these realities.

YES freedom comes in feeling. It comes in being in reality. It comes in the processing that leads to clarity of what was MISSING or ANTAGONISTIC and therefore how we can change things to make them more aligned. In this we find that growth, creativity, expansion, service to others - all flows NATURALLY from us. Because that’s what nature does - it lives in harmony with its environment. That’s what INTELLIGENCE does.

But we must be willing to take the journey here.

It’s long.

It’s not easy.

The body and mind have limits to what it can do in a day, a week, a month.

We spiritually bypass because feeling is HARD. Because we don’t feel safe - because we have never had a safe space in which TO feel. We have to go BACK to times and places where we were powerless helpless, confused, abused, abandoned and so on - and this is really uncomfortable. It can feel like death itself.

We cope and numb because these unprocessed wounds become the chronic anxiety, depression, meaninglessness, loss of connection and feelings of hopelessness that drive our current society. Because finding our place and our power is REALLY hard and sometimes NOT POSSIBLE. Yes. Life IS painful. And we CAN'T figure it out or fix it - so we cope.

We look to spiritual teachers to help us get out of our human experience - to trance us into positivity, to tell us that we are fully in control of everything between our ears, to tell us how to get rid of our desires, egos and selves - because thats the only thing we can imagine as a freedom.

We believe in gurus who say they are transcended, and are then routinely surprised when we find abuse, very base human desire driven closest full of skeletons - and then look for the next ‘true’ transcended teacher.

We do this because again, feeling s hard. Processing is hard. Getting safe enough to do it is HARD.

Let's Embrace Slow And Steady. Compassion At Every Turn:

So let’s embrace processing.

Let’s embrace the path of looking deeper into our humanity to find what serves us and watch how that makes us better stewards of the earth and brothers and sisters of humanity.

AND lets go slow.

Be gentle.

Allow for the numbing, coping and distractions we need along the way.

Let’s play our edges but not traumatize ourselves further by pushing past them.

Feel the fear, go a little, then rest and recover.

Let’s embrace that we are going to cope. We are going to numb. We are going to bypass. We will look to our spirituality and self help to escape and be whipped into a frenzy. We will fall for teachers and gurus that tell us we can transcend and get rid of. Its ok. Its part of it. As long as we can see it, be kind and return to feeling when we CAN - never pushing it. This just re-traumatizes us.

The path is a marathon not a sprint. We never ‘arrive’ so much as we learn so much that we become what looks like a transcend human, but is actually just an INTELLIGENT human working WITH reality. It’s Divine. It’s mystical. It’s layered and complex and magical. AND it’s deeply practical and works to actually build a more heaven like earth.

Go slow. Be patient. Don’t give up when it doesn’t feel better quickly. Be in it for the path. One step at a time. With only compassion and space.

Feeling is hard. Integrating requires an inner safety that most of us have to work REALLY hard to develop. Really really hard.

Transcending seems easier. We have to be gentle that this is true.

Learning to find safety is first. Then feeling - which again feels like death. Then power. Then change. It's A LOT.

Go slow.