Failure.
It's one of the most talked about experiences in the self help/personal growth worlds - and for good reason.
As a species we have a pretty contentious relationship with failure - being perceived as a failure, experiencing failure on some level, doing anything that might make us RISK brushing up against failure - and we've developed a lot of tricks of the mind and body to help us avoid failure.
Many of us will avoid going for things that we KNOW are important to us because we're so scared of what will happen if we don't get where we want to go. We will spend all our time researching, listening to others, procrastinating, preparing and putting things off - never actually just DOING what we know we need to do because that fear of 'not being good enough' is just so strong.
Many of us HAVE failed in small or large ways - and these past failings haunt us to this day - making us feel like we made a mistake, like we've caused some irreparable damage, or more impact-fully, that we've proven to ourselves that we're not capable, not good enough, not destined for success or that we're otherwise shameful on some level.
Many of us feel like if we're not instantly succeeding at whatever we're doing - that this means we can NEVER have success. Many of us feel like we have an understanding that getting to where we want to go is going to involve some failures - but when push comes to shove we're not actually willing to risk those failures for fear of what it will do to us or of what it will make others think of us.
Which makes sense because our society is incredibly judgmental towards any and all perceived 'failures'. Our culture has a very narrow window in terms of what is considered 'success' and our culture celebrates the idea of the meteoric rise to achievement - oftentimes in a way where all the inevitable failures that come with any achievement are brushed under the rug or heavily deemphasized.
At best, we're taught that you can fail, but that failure MUST then lead to some even GREATER success.
Anything else is considered shameful, and this is where I want to come in to see if we can shift the narrative.
In real reality, 'failure' isn't failure. Failure, for the most part, is actually just learning. It's a necessary part of any process of growth, and it's a necessary part of any life.
When we can make ROOM for failure, when we can start to see failure not as an obstacle or a misstep, but as part of the path, when we can see failure as growth rather than seeing it as a sign of our inherent incapability/unworthiness - in this we're going to set ourselves free to ENJOY our life path - regardless of whether or not society understands.
Let's take a deep dive into what failure ACTUALLY is and how to work with it so that we don't get lost in shame, but rather can use it to our advantage.
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