A fun little paradox that many of us are going to experience in this life is the paradox of realizing that the more comfortable we are with being alone, the healthier we're going to be in our relationships with others.
Generally speaking, we humans do MUCH better when we have a community to connect to. We are simply not designed to be alone all the time - and even if we consider ourselves introverts or people who require a lot of alone time, we are still going to find that we do MUCH better when we have connection to a supportive community/group of others to 'do life with.'
In our increasingly individualistic and isolated culture, more and more people are finding themselves feeling rather desperate for connection - and the truth is we are also pretty deeply indoctrinated into the idea that if you don't have this massive social life and very SPECIFIC looking connections (ie. a 'spouse' or significant other that culture can understand and validate) that you are a failure/your life is missing something crucial and that you MUST fix that A.S.A.P.
Finally, most of us weren't taught how to have healthy relationships. Rather we were taught how to be codependent, how to change ourselves so that others would approve of us, we were taught to be defensive and only hang out with people who agree with our world view entirely and we were taught how to 'fit in' via abandoning ourselves.
So with all this mess - is it any wonder that so many of us feel so desperate for connection while at the same time have a really hard time establishing and keeping the connections we want in life?
This is why today I want to talk about why learning to be on our own, learning to like who we are and learning to be ok with 'gaps' in our social-connection can actually IMPROVE the way we relate to others when we relate to them.
I want to talk about why learning to be comfortable in your own skin and in your own presence can be one of the most liberating actions we ever take, and how it can dramatically improve our ability to be in intimate connection with others.
Learning to be alone in a HEALTHY way can give us so much potential for establishing truly nourishing connections with others - let's explore how this is the case today.
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