Hi Friend 🙂
Today I want to explore why coupling your personal worth/value in and around your business worth/value is a never ending spiral of pain and suffering.
Because YOU are not your business.
What you offer is not WHO YOU ARE.
There is legitimacy to figuring out what your offerings are worth. There is legitimacy in finding your personal worth and value. There is legitimacy to being afraid to charge what your services are worth because you as a human feel unworthy - but the process of trying to figure out what your BUSINESS is worth shouldn't have anything to do with you figuring out how to have SELF ESTEME.
Let's dive deep into this because I think there is a lot of freedom to be found when we uncouple these two concepts.
You Are Not Your Business:
If you're going to a coach for your business, that is COUPLING your PERSONAL worth with your BUSINESS worth - that is working with you to ‘gain self esteem so that you can charge what YOU’RE worth’ - this is like going to a doctor for migraine pain relief pills, and while they write you the prescription they also wham you over the head with a hammer.
The fact that you believe your SELF WORTH has anything to do with a MONETARY VALUE - or if you believe that your self worth and the WORK YOU DO in this world to make money - even IF that work is centered around YOU as a person - you are living from the lie of the system.
You are living from colonization.
This idea that our worth and our value has ANYTHING to do with how much the ECONOMY values us - is the REASON we are all so miserable, depressed, working ourselves to death, disconnected from our humanity and one another, disconnected from joy, willing to sacrifice our health, relationships, joy and pleasure for pieces of paper.
It’s the reason we all hoard so that so many on this planet don't have enough.
It’s the reason we are such a wasteful society willing to consume and create so much disposable ‘convince’ - because time is money and money is time and WE are the accumulation of digits in our bank accounts.
This idea that a HUMAN life can be measured by what we as a society collectively currently VALUE IS what created the conditions for slavery, sexism, war, genocide and all other forms of humans brutalizing other humans.
It is THIS VERY MINDSET that is the poison.
Meaning there is no way to work WITHIN IT and get yourself well.
If you are dealing with feeling less than worthy as a HUMAN - do not hire a business coach.
That should NOT be their job.
Hire a self love coach.
We Need To Move Out Of The System That's Poisoning Us:
Work with someone who is going to help you UNCOUPLE the relationship that is so deeply weaved in your mind between YOUR SELF WORTH and YOUR WORTH IN THE ECONOMY. Because the more you work from a place of these two things being one, the longer you will stay lonely, depressed, sad, feeling like it’s ‘never enough’ - the more you will be addicted to success and praise, the more you will feel like shit about yourself anytime someone doesn’t like a product or a service - you will NEVER be able to rise above criticism or praise - and this just fucks with you.
Because it’s rooted in a lie.
If you want to know the worth of your BUSINESS - of your services, products and offerings - hire a BUSINESS COACH who will help you know your market, help you set reasonable, market based prices for your goods so that you have an actual chance at business success, to help you charge what your SERVICES are worth and to put yourself out there for what you OFFER in a way that is confident and aligned with your skillset - hire them to help you position yourself. Hire them because they understand the economy, your offering and how the two intersect so as to give you the best chance possible to have success in what you’re selling. Do let them help you charge what your services are worth. Do let them coach you on confidence in that ask. Do let them help you be in a place of true equity for your time - that is all amazing - but it's NOT what YOU are worth.
Do NOT equate YOUR worth with how the market currently values your PRODUCTS AND SERVICES.
Look at our economy. Look at what we value. Look at the things we will pay hand over fist for and those things we refuse to pay for. I think if you take about 5 minutes to really consider what our supply and demand based market - humanity at this point - prize - you may find that YOU are not really ‘it.’ If you have any kind of depth, your market, your target audience, the people who are going to get and really appreciate what you have - is going to be a MUCH smaller pool than McDonalds and the Kardashians.
You're still worth it. Your product is still amazing. Your offering is important - it may just not be as VALUED by SOCIETY as it is VALUABLE. Those are two different things as well. Learning how to differentiate between these two things is ALSO very important in finding peace within yourself as a business owner.
Do you really want to go to bed every night feeling like a failure because you aren’t a millionaire in an economy that made KIM KARDASHIAN a BILLIONARE? Does that feel fair to you? Do you feel that how the ECONOMY values your work SHOULD have anything to do with how you VALUE YOURSELF AS A HUMAN BEING?
Just step outside of this for a moment and really consider.
When You Are Your Brand:
I get it. When you and your brand are so interconnected, it's easy to get sold on this ‘charge what you’re worth’ thing. It’s easy to miss the very, very NEFARIOUS roots of tying your self worth to the worth of your product. It's EASY to miss how this is the REASON you feel like shit - and there is no wang-jangling that can be done WITHIN this system to make it make you feel good.
So long as your PERSONAL sense of value is tied up in your ECONOMIC value at this moment, you will feel terrible about yourself. You will have highs and lows. Ups and downs. You will feel insecure and like an impostor. You will never, ever feel that confidence you want to feel.
Until you KNOW YOUR WORTH as a permanent state - that has nothing to do with what you do, how able you are, what you produce, how or who you help or serve - you will feel lonely and not enough.
When you DO KNOW your worth, the actual worth of yourself, you will be able to have a much more HONEST and GROUNDED look at the current value of your current products and services in our current economy, you will be able to charge that confidently (and this may end up being MORE than you were charging before!) because you no longer have that sense of ‘if people won’t pay for this it means I SUCK.’
When you let go of your product/service being a reflection of YOUR WORTH - you will find IT’S worth in this current economy.
The fluctuations of what people do and don’t value won’t mean a hit to your self esteem.
The ups and downs of your business won’t be cause for you to hate and reject yourself.
You won’t feel like an impostor or like you’re over or under charging anymore - the detachment will set you free to see the reality for what it is.
Your worth has nothing to do with what you produce. Nothing to do with what people are willing to pay for your products and services currently. Nothing to do with the economy.
Don’t let your business coach be your self esteem coach.
Don’t let a boss babe tell you they can help you with your business and then have them tell you to charge prices that don’t match the market.
This is dishonest and it is their way of selling you something that you want to hear for their own profit.
Refuse to allow your worth and value to be tied into your economic standing.
This is where business AND self clarity will be found.