How To Look At Pain And Let It EVOLVE You Not Paralyze You

There is a lot of shadow around this resistance to calling a spade a spade and the layers of fear surrounding it make it difficult to penetrate.

What we are seeing now is that all the 'sensitive people' who have been chronically diagnosed with depression, anxiety and other issues, those with addictions and an inability to make life work, with physical illnesses that can't be explained - are being shown that they were in fact not crazy. The exposure of the systemic issues of oppression, abuse and human rights violations is showing US that we are connected. We have been feeling this system of abuse our whole lives - being a part of it because we were born into a normal that's fully violent and because we were also victims of it. We are connected. We are one. We've been feeling the pain of those hidden abuses forever. The overt abuses we were told not to look at. This is all coming up and we should be standing saying - ok this is why it all hurt so much all the time. Yes my struggles and my life. My traumas and the abuses I suffered. And the systemic ones.

So what's the real solution here?

First, integration of these two aspects within ourselves.

We of course need to internally recognize that both the victim and the abuser within us are suffering because of the systems humans have created. Most of us have been suffering our whole lives with our own traumas, and again have been born into a SYSTEM, a WORLD that both set us up to be victimized as well as set us up to be victimizers. Both of these aspects of self need to be brought into the light. Seen for what they are - hurting and traumatized parts.

This is where the practices of self love come in.

We must be willing to face both of these in ourselves without shame and guilt. To see that they are based on SYSTEMS we didn't choose, systems no human really 'chose' but that were born of IGNORANCE and FEAR. We can and do know better now. We can LEARN from this. We can CHANGE without this meaning that we were inherently EVIL before. This is the reconciliation.

Can we change our behaviour, especially the abusive behaviour, without that MEANING we were inherently EVIL? We must let go of the judgements. Humans are not evil or good. We have the capacity for destruction and the capacity for evolution. We posses self awareness and pattern recognition which gives us the ability to CHOOSE which path we want to walk. But part of TRUE self empowerment is to recognize where we are ABUSERS right now, due to our traumas, and where we can LOVE those parts of self into SAFETY, so that they can LEARN what they want and need, and how to get those needs met in BETTER ways. This is how we evolve the abuser in ourselves. No shame and blame. Just witnessing, understanding then changing to serve everyone.

Then we grow.

Then we can start to see that yes, the misalignments on this planet are MASSIVE. We have been feeling our own pain but also the pain of others we could never see or know or understand too - because we are ALL ONE. There is no separation. This is also a hard pill to swallow because for many of us this means we will never be happy. If our pain is connected to the pain of everyone, the more we learn about how deeply the world is suffering, and how little we can do about it - of course we are going to say 'no, shut that off. I need to believe my experience is isolated to me and I can just liberate myself and be happy.' I get that. I do. I want that to sometimes. But it's not real. Whether we like it or not, we are affected by it all and we are affecting it all.

Meaning, you are not going to change the whole system.

You are not going to create total human alignment.

You are GOING to suffer and feel the pain of the misalignments of this world for the rest of your life.

That is a reality.

AND.

AND.

You can do what YOU CAN DO, both for yourself and the world, to make it just that much better.

You get to participate - you inherently participate whether you want to or not just by existing - and thus, to be 'conscious' is to continually awaken to the parts of you that are either working to support the systems of imbalance or working to create the liberation.

Sometimes this is going to mean going inside and finding your power and freedom in your own mind and perceptions of things. Sometimes this is going to mean changing things in your individual and personal life. Sometimes this is going to mean doing things in your family and community. Sometimes this is going to be social justice activism. Sometimes this is going to mean rebelling deeply from society and being rejected for choosing to opt out of systems of 'normal' that others will ATTACK you for opting out of, because you then bring awareness to the frailty and fear behind those systems. It's not an internal or an external thing - it's both. And you will learn to navigate participation where participation is necessary in each moment. There is no sweeping answer of what to be done - only the call to be more and more conscious in every moment - what in THIS MOMENT brings YOU (and thus the world) into greater harmony?

It's complex. It's about us and everyone at the same time. It's our relationship to life itself.

THE cycle of abuse is not going to stop because people stop identifying as victims and empower themselves - because that's not what cause the problem any more than a cancer diagnosis causes cancer. Saying things are what they are don't make them so. It's not going to stop because we finally blame and shame 'the abusers' enough that 'those bad guys out there' stop being that way.

We confront BOTH in ourselves. Let BOTH be seen and loved. Then, as they mature in us, BOTH will change their behaviors. Will bring us to awareness of what we can do. Where we can accept. Where we need to shift our perceptions. Where we are causing harm. Where the system is flawed and it hurts not because we suck. Where we are in pain because the SYSTEM is set up to make us abusers that then SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES of that, whether we are aware or not. Just like a baby gets burned if they put their hand in fire - reality doesn't protect us from pain because we are innocent. Our pain that we are feeling is both individual and collective - and it may mean we feel pain forever. But we can find our liberation within it, as we continue to investigate, and do what we CAN to make it better. This will ALWAYS lead us to greater freedom and joy. There is no need to arrive at 'perfect' before we can feel better.

We are one.

And as individuals we have individual power to choose for ourselves the liberation of ALL through our actions (what liberates us truly liberates all) or victimizes ALL thought trying to be a victimizer (what victimizes one victimizes all, including ourselves).

Inner work. Outer work. Depends on the day, circumstance and time. There is no 'right way' - just the path that calls for different things at different times.

But we gotta embrace looking at it. If it's there to see, looking didn't create it. If there was nothing there we could look all we want and it wouldn't exist. Focusing on it in a way where we go into a victim state allows it to CONTINUE, but doesn't make it 'worse.' Inaction makes it worse. Looking and not doing makes it worse. Just focusing does nothing. We must bring CURIOSITY and LOVE - to UNDERSTAND the systems, so we can intelligently create something new.

Looking and learning, that then leads to change - that is the solution. Don't get stuck at looking or thinking that looking makes things exist.

Liberation is a path not a destination. Always another step to take, joy available in all of them if you embrace the changing feelings of each step.

You ready to do the inner work so you can be clear on what your outer work is?

<3