We Do Not Have To Fear 'Calling Things Out' If We Know How To ADDRESS Things:
This Was Born In Childhood:
It's Also The Delusion That Seeing Something Is 'Creating' Something:
Next, again so much of the time our awareness leads us right into shame and guilt.
This Is The Victim/Victor Cycle That Needs To Be Broken:
Looking for the perpetrator.
Looking for who the evil thing/one is and how we can blame them or eradicate them.
THIS is the cycle that needs to be broken - because when we are doing our self awareness work we are GOING TO REALIZE that we hold the patterns of the abuser just as much as the patterns of the abused.
It's a much easier path to see ourselves as victims and then to 'empower ourselves' than it is to witness all the ways in which our abuse has caused us to be abusers.
All the ways in which the systems that exist and the 'norms' of society indoctrinated and anesthetized us into systems where we actively and passively uphold the abuse and victimization others. Because we don't want to see ourselves as abusers. We don't want to see ourselves as the bad guy.
This disrupts our self image way too much.
Going from victim to victor is a celebrated story that society will accept in you. "Empowering yourself" to leave the marriage, work through the addiction, leave your family patterns of origin, create a new way for yourself is all glorified.
Identifying where you have been the victimizer? Where you have harmed others through your pain? Where you have been an active participant or simply totally unaware of a system that directly inhibits the prosperity, safety and security of others? Working to bring these structures down - that in many ways HURT YOU to participate in, even if there was seeming benefit - the fear of that, the fear of CHANGING those things in YOURSELF without that meaning you were TERRIBLE - most can't do it. Can't hold these two concepts at once - I was abused, I was hurting, I was indoctrinated, I was numb, I didn't know, AND I then turned around and caused harm - and I am going to have to face that in myself, reconcile that, not go into shame and blame but rather into maturation where I LOVE these hurting parts of myself so I can CHANGE my behaviour, uplift others, stop my unintentional tirade, give up some of my privileges, recognize that even though I suffered greatly I STILL HAD PRIVILEGES and it HURTS ME to have it. It hurts others. I have to change. I didn't create the system and I would never have CHOSEN it had I had another option - but I'm in it. It's hurting me and others.
Accepting responsibility without accepting blame.