What Can We Teach INTSEAD Of The Law Of Attraction?


We are finally ready to wrap up our series on The Law Of Attraction.

I hope this series has given you something to think about, and today I hope it gives you even more tools for seeing the world in a more expanded, pragmatic way.

The Law Of Attraction is harmful in a lot of ways, and understanding that is a big part of moving forward.

Another part of moving forward is understanding what we can learn and teach instead.

That’s what today’s post is all about.

But before we dive in, be sure to read:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Ready for the final part? 

There’s No Systems Thinking In The Law Of Attraction And Thus, It’s Not Reality

The Law Of Attraction fails to recognize history, systems and our nervous systems. It fails to take SO many factors of life into account, and it makes ALL things about US - the us we are consciously aware of, which for many of us, isn’t that much of who we actually are!

Finally, it can be harder still to zoom even further out and see that life as a whole isn’t happening purely because of/for/against HUMANS. It can be extra challenging to zoom out far enough to realize that there are whole ecosystems and patterns of life that are existing almost totally independent of humans and human behavior. It can be a challenge to realize that for MOST of earth's existence, there wasn’t a human here AT ALL. There wasn’t human consciousness or human thought or human action. Life was existing for BILLIONS of years before what we now call a ‘human’ showed up on the scene. 

Life was life loooooonnngggg before humans, and there’s going to be life here long after we are no longer around. 

Life isn’t arising from human thought, because if it were, there could not have been life before humans. 

This is the biggest key we have to understand.

Life isn’t all about us as individuals, and it’s not all about us as humans.

We are trained to see ourselves as ‘the main character’ in the story of life - but this again, simply isn’t reality. We can see this when we take just a moment or two to broaden our scope.

We are not the arbiters of reality - and if we were, I think most of us would have to admit that things on this planet would likely be very, very different.

To assume that life is happening FULLY because of humans makes no sense. To assume that our individual lives are happening FULLY because of ourselves makes even less sense when we put this all into context.

The Law Of Attraction is simply put, far too simple to be a real reality.

The Law Of Attraction can feel good because it makes sense to our childhood programming, and it makes us feel that we have total control if we want it.

But it is actually incredibly problematic when we dive in and look at it for all that it is.

This idea then makes a LOT of room for what people call ‘victim blaming’ - and what others call taking ‘radical responsibility’ for your life. In other words, The Law Of Attraction essentially teaches that no matter what happens to you - it’s your fault. It’s because of you. That the only reason why anything could be ‘manifesting’ in your reality, is because YOU are calling it in/are a match to it - and therefore you get to take credit for all good things and also must accept the blame for anything hard, painful or negative.

This includes children who experience abuse, all people who become sick in any way, all victims of any kind of disaster or painful happening - it’s all due to the fact that those people were ‘asking for it’ via their vibrational state.

This Law also makes people afraid to think and feel - thinking that every imagination of a plane crash or admission of sadness is going to lead to disaster. 

It creates a toxic situation where we’re doing our best to suppress and deny anything ‘negative’ - which is only ever going to lead to bypassing, blaming or that which is being suppressed coming out in unhealthy ways.

This Law centers around the idea that reality itself is centered around each individual and each individual's experience is fully and completely their own - disconnected from anyone or anything else - which makes no sense given that we KNOW how much we are connected to the whole, how much the whole affects us and how much we can have an affect on the whole. 

The Law Of Attraction can be a slippery slope towards losing empathy for others who are suffering. It can be a way that we dissociate from the pain that others are experiencing - because we can tell ourselves that they deserved it/created it for themselves on some level. It can be a way that we comfort ourselves that WE won’t experience anything as terrible as what others are experiencing, so long as we ‘stay on top of’ our vibration and energy. The Law means that we are going to be less motivated to help those who are suffering and to work to change actual systems because again, we can simply write things off as being ‘what others are needing for their soul journey’ instead of recognizing that what we are actually seeing is systemic abuse, or simple power imbalances that need to be remedied. 

The Law Of Attraction is a denial of reality. On so many levels it works from a limited perspective that is trying to make sense of reality without having enough pieces of the picture to make the philosophy make sense.

It gives us a way of explaining tragedy, of feeling like we can know why we get sick or suffer something hard - when in reality we don’t actually know why what’s happening to us or to others is happening.

The worst part, is that it blocks us from seeing TRUE cause where it DOES exist, and thus it blocks us from being able to take truly helpful action in the direction of something better.

This is why I think we shouldn’t be teaching The Law Of Attraction, or at the very least we should be teaching it in a very, very different way than how we’re currently teaching it.

On so many levels, this teaching is harmful and it leaves victims of abuse, violence and systemic oppression out in the cold - and that’s not ok.

 It means that we are going to tell people that tragedy is their fault and it means that we’re going to deny where we can actually make things better.

It means we’re not going to understand history, trauma and systems.

It means we’re not actually going to be able to figure out why pain is happening and what we can do to alleviate it.

It means we’re going to be trapped in our imaginations rather than finding true cause and effect so we can have actual power.

What Can We Teach Instead? What Is TRUE In The Law Of Attraction?

The idea that our thoughts and feelings hold some sort of power over our lives isn’t a bad one.

Understanding that of COURSE the way we are perceiving ourselves and the world around us is going to have a major impact on our life experience.

The way we see things, the stories we tell ourselves about reality, the beliefs we have about ourselves and our capacity, the perception we have of society and what society means for/to us - all of this is massively important.

To teach that we can help ourselves create a desired outcome via visualization and harnessing the power of feeling is a good teaching.

To tell people that what they believe about themselves and their capacity matters is a good thing.

To give people a sense of autonomy in their experience is of course a great thing!

But rather than teaching that reality is arising from between our ears only, that our individual lives are 100% because of us, that there is a presence that is constantly aware of us but not aware enough to tell the difference between what we want and don’t want - we should be teaching something more pragmatic and actually empowering. 

The truth is, as we’ve looked at at length throughout this series, that reality is far more complex than we often want to give it credit for. Trying to boil anything down to ONE factor is only ever going to leave us in a state of being LESS empowered - even if it sometimes FEELS like simplifying things makes it seem like we have more control.

Learning to expand our awareness when life isn’t going the way we want it to/when we want something we’ve never had before rather than contracting it is the biggest key here.

When we are in pain, when we’re struggling, when we have something we want but don’t know how to get - the real key is to shift out of trying to make reality work how WE want it to work, and into a state where we’re LEARNING something NEW.

We don’t actually want to assume we know what the solution to our problems are. 

We don’t want to assume we know the path we need to take. 

We don’t want to assume that we already have a vision for how things ‘should be’ and we just need the Universe to work out how to get us to that desired state.

Instead, we want to open to the fact that we need new information. 

We need to understand the complexities of what’s happening deeper than we currently do. 

We need to dive into systems, into learning MORE about what we want to venture into, into seeing where we’re being affected by things that may have been beyond our awareness to this point. 

We need to learn new skills. 

We need to try things, fail and learn from those steps.

It’s not about relying on what we already know, nor is it about just waiting for the Universe to deliver the perfect solution to us.

It’s about US taking proactive action. We need to come into a state of getting out of what we currently think and we need to realize that the TRUE power we have is in learning, expanding our skill sets, becoming more intelligent and complex - not in waiting for life to change around us.

Creating change in our lives doesn’t come from being passive, nor does it come from staying in our same state of awareness.

It comes from NEWNESS. New information. New awareness. New steps. New tools. 

And in the cases where we literally don’t have power to shift what is, it’s about finding new strategies to SUPPORT ourselves better within what’s happening - rather than just waiting for it to change, and suffering in the meantime in ways we don’t have to be suffering.

So again, it’s not to say that visualizing a desired outcome, feeling how we want to feel or having a picture in our minds is wrong. It’s not to say that what we currently know isn’t enough in every situation. It’s not to say that there’s always something we can learn that will lead to new action.

There is a lot of power in allowing ourselves to vision and in allowing ourselves to feel - and I don’t want to take that away from anyone.

I just don’t want that to be ALL you do! I want to encourage you to take that visioning and that feeling and to use it to help direct you towards what you need to learn. What you need to explore. What you need to lean into in order to find your answers.

Rather than using your visioning and feeling work as an end point, use it as a jumping off point. Get into those feelings of experiencing a new reality, then start to look around your CURRENT life for ANYTHING that feels similar to that feeling. Look for the information you can learn that will give you more power to create the new outcome. Look for the new skills you can build that FEEL like the feeling of your desired state. Use the feeling to help you discern where to look in terms of new information and where to invest your time in learning new skills. 

Be open to growth. Be open to change. Be open to learning. Be open to doing the hard work of shifting your awareness.

Be open to learning more about the financial world and how to work with money in a practical sense.

Be open to learning new methods of communication and getting your needs met in relationships.

Be open to learning new ways of processing your thoughts and feelings so that you can get clearer on what’s not working in your life, why and what you need instead.

Be open to learning more about health and wellness if what you’re currently doing isn’t given you the results you’re looking for.

Be open to learning about your history and how you got the current ideas you have about yourself and your life - and be willing to question those ideas.

Be open to information that seems to contradict what you already know, if what you already know isn’t getting you what you want.

Be open to learning tools of self support, healthy grieving, asking for help and showing up for the you that actually exists within situations where you can’t make the external reality different.

Be open to seeing where you’re currently struggling, and allowing that to be a starting point for education - not a place you stop and assume you know what you want or where you wait for the Universe to sweep in and change things.

Be open to the idea that life doesn’t unfold how we want it to - that it’s our job to learn how systems work and how reality at large works via pattern recognition and awareness - so we can better align our way of being with getting what we want.

We also want to acknowledge that sometimes things just happen. We are at the wrong place at the wrong time or the right place at the right time. 

Systems are set up in ways that go against what would be best or most ideal for us or they are arranged in a way that really supports us.

We have certain chronic health or mental health issues we didn’t choose.

We want to acknowledge trauma, our histories and all of the factors that have led to where we are - and we have to be willing to see where we don’t have control, where we can’t change the past and where the past really HAS affected our present.

We have to acknowledge our programming and how we were taught to see the world, where our limits in perception are, where the gaps in our knowledge are and where we don’t have clear sight.

We must take into account the fact that we can’t control our thoughts or emotions with 100% accuracy and that this isn’t required for creating a good life.

We have to realize that sometimes what we NEED is community support. What we need is systemic change. What we need is a steady income and relative life security. Sometimes we need therapy or work in helping us process our past. Sometimes we need to learn new methods of effective communication. Sometimes we need to leave the situation we’re in. Sometimes we need to take time to grieve. Sometimes we really need to be seen, heard and validated in our emotions and not be told that we should be positive. Sometimes we need extended periods of time where we AREN’T pushing for something new. Sometimes we need rest. Sometimes we need to allow what we have to be enough. 

Sometimes there isn’t an ‘answer’ to our problem the way we want there to be an answer. 

Sometimes what we’re in can’t be fixed, healed or changed in the way we want it to be. 

Sometimes in order to find BETTER we have to let go of our IDEAL and settle into a more sober reality. 

Sometimes the way forward is that we have to let go of what we want or what we think, and we have to embrace what is a little more.

Reality is complex.

Our thoughts have power. Our feelings have power. We DO have choices. We CAN make our lives better.

But oftentimes, this requires a LOT more than just choosing better feeling thoughts.

Because we’re not in the situations we’re in simply because we ‘chose’ to think terrible thoughts.

None of us chose to have pain. To have trauma. To have setbacks and systems that work against us. None of us chose the ways we were antagonized or denied support. None of us chose to simply ‘manifest’ terrible things, hard things, painful things because we weren’t ‘conscious.’

Positive visualization and knowing things can get better are a PART of a path forward - but they are by no means the WHOLE way.

We have to get deeper into real reality, the complexity, the past, the present, how our unconscious and subconscious are working, what is going on with the systems around us and the conditioning we received if we really want to make appreciable changes to our lives.

New conditions require new awareness, not just repetitive thinking about what we want.

Just as most people have visualized being in a plane crash over and over again but never actually experienced it, most who visualize having a million dollars will never experience it.

If The Law Of Attraction worked how people say it does, we would all be dead millionaires 😉

Let’s not let the desire for something simple cover our eyes so that we can’t see the pragmatic complexity we NEED to see if we want to make effective change to our lives, and if we want to AVOID being people who blame ourselves and others for situations that aren’t their fault.

Complexity can be overwhelming, but it’s where all our power is. Let’s not forget that.


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