Hello again Friend 🙂
This is the third part in a four part blog series.
Please read
PART ONE HERE and
PART TWO HERE
before you read this part 🙂
Next week I will post the final installment.
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Free Will:
This is free will. You don't get to decide WHAT is life generating or life destroying.
What YOU are or aren't.
What reality is or isn't - this is all set.
You get to decide if you're going to go with it and grow it or resist it and act out that antagonism.
Coping = that which you do to soothe yourself in a world where you feel you can't be yourself/can't create what you desire/can't get out of the pain of destructive ways of life that you don't understand/can't make your situation better due to external influence that's out of your control.
Thus you act how you think you 'should' to get approval/unidentified and misunderstood needs met (remember as children we were meant to be fully taken care of in our needs. Most of us never learned to identify our needs/wants, how to get them met within reality - thus how to manage pain and move towards pleasure. Thus we COPE with the pain we can't actually FIX), ways you were taught to behave (generational sin) due to your caregivers/society not understanding that YOU being YOU and THEM being THEM is the BEST way to survive, and the ways we deal with the pain of society in general.
The degree to which your conditioned way of being for survival isn't growing your seeds - is out of alignment with the structure of reality and thus THWARTS your capacity to CREATE/GROW your seeds - is the degree to which it's painful to live your life and thus the degree to which you need coping to numb the pain.
The pain is never your FAULT - and sometimes we can make it better through understanding and empowerment, and sometimes we have to understand that it's the structures of society that are harmful and are what needs to change.
Learning to abandon your own FEELINGS for a consensus way of being that you were taught is how you need to be in order to survive - this is what you're coping with. What you were taught that's out of alignment with reality has been programmed into you as 'survival' because it was these programmed behaviors that got you ACCEPTED. THIS IS CONSENSUS REALITY PLEASURE/PAIN (acceptance rejection by others) conflicting with TRUE REALITY PAIN AND PLEASURE (that which is/isn't in alignment with real reality.) We cope with pain by distracting, numbing, stimulating or mutilating ourselves in an attempt to 'fix' OURSELVES and feel like we 'feel better.'
This is illusion because there is nothing broken about US or about REALITY. We are simply again, trying to create within a structure that doesn't exist/against the structure that exists.
Coping, Self Sabotage, Scapegoats, Reparenting:
These coping mechanisms of 'self improvement' ie. constantly trying to change YOURSELF to FEEL DIFFERENT within your way of being, or looking to change/argue with REALITY is how a CHILD deals with pain. A child doesn't have control over their circumstances - they can only manipulate themselves or others to get their needs met. They don't have the capacity to UNDERSTAND what it is they are wanting/trying to create, why it's not happening, what this means about how reality functions and thus how to adjust their behaviour to align with real reality so they can create their desires within it (growth). They can only attempt to change themselves to be approved of (an thus get their needs met) or manipulate caregivers into meeting their needs.
This is where we develop self sabotage and scapegoats.
Self sabotage = either your true self stopping you from living your conditioning or your nervous system hijacking your being to get you to live in alignment with your conditioning and against your true nature, due to the fear of death that you think comes with abandonment/rejection.
Scapegoat = that which you blame your negative emotions on that is actually just triggering the abandoned/rejected parts of yourself.
Trigger = something in your current environment that is 'activating' the part of you trapped in childhood conditioning/is ACTUALLY causing you pain that you don't know how to fully deal with/protect yourself from. Bringing up the EMOTIONS you felt when you first learned to adapt rather than grow. The part of you that has a need for GROWTH that isn't being met, that is then trying to change that need/your way of expressing so the external world will approve of you and thus meet your need, or trying to change reality so your current expression will BECOME how the need gets met.
Self love = Reparenting. Being with your negative emotions to go to the root - the seed of yourself that got abandoned/rejected or were MISUNDERSTOOD and cast into 'shadow'/ cut off from growth. Seeing these parts as God who got cut off from light. Seeing where the current conditions you are in and the ones you have been in didn't support your growth and true nature - where they disconnected you from your humanity. Learning to see that you are innocent, and that you have power to make things better all at once. We spend time with these parts to allow them to be heard, we give them what they needed and didn't get, figure out what they WANT and how to get that WITHIN REALITY - thus we integrate their experience by accepting it then learning from it. They were expressing and attempting to grow, didn't get their needs met (like a plant not getting water) and thus couldn't grow properly.
What we didn't understand in our reality was a need going unmet, and this caused pain. As we understand WHY what hurt us hurt, we learn how we got stopped in our GROWTH, can then grow and expand, and THIS is where pleasure comes from/what integration is.
Your Higher Awareness:
Your creativity and your 'higher awareness' isn't coming from another being outside of you, a greater God, nor is it happening because your 'ego got out of the way'. You're just in your conditioned limitations for a second and all the information that's stored in your cells from all of your experience that you usually hide away from yourself, is being allowed to flow. The yet unintegrated information stored in your subconscious is being accessed by your conscious.
Trance states' plant medicine, deep breathing, intense movement - all do the same thing. They relax our stories of what we can and can't accept, we forget to resist what we know/parts of ourselves we usually reject and it automatically generates creativity because that's what life does. If you can learn to consciously relax and feel, to consciously let go of your stories of what you can and can't know, you don't need to be in an altered state ever again to bring forth your creative genius. It's you, coming from your interactions with all that is. It's not something outside of yourself creating through you, so much as it's your experience interacting with your seeds that then creates something evolved.
You interacted with the outside world and together you're birthing the creative act/wisdom. Relative you (seeds) being fertilized by greater you/reality/experience (germination) birthing a creation thats an evolution of BOTH you and greater reality.
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Get comfy with this, and we will wrap things up next week.
<3
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